For women it is much harder as they don't even have an option to put less energy into kids at all, society pressures and berates them if something is off (men m

For women it is much harder as they don't even have an option to put less energy into kids at all, society pressures and berates them if something is off (men might get a comment but largely it is ignored and accepted), so I can totally see why she feels this way, _especially_ for a side thing.