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You’re all here to clutch pearls. This has all turned into virtue signalling over a title. There are better things to be doing with your day. It doesn’t matter

by hinkley 2mo ago

You’re all here to clutch pearls. This has all turned into virtue signalling over a title. There are better things to be doing with your day. It doesn’t matter to you that they have no shame and it will roll off them like water off a ducks back? Have you ever tried to shame a narcissist, or someone with BPD? It definitely does not work on them. They just try to destroy your life for you. The way to deal with that sort is, don’t deal with them at all. Give them nothing until they get bored and leave. If you count it all up there’s rather a lot of people for whom making it your job to control them is a bad outcome for everyone involved. It’s a generalization that has important exceptions.

otterley 2mo ago
> You’re all here to clutch pearls. This has all turned into virtue signalling over a title. I disagree with your characterization, but you do you, I guess. > There are better things to be doing with your day. Perhaps so. There are probably better things for everyone on HN to be doing instead. Nevertheless, as autonomous people, we can choose our own priorities. I, for one, don't appreciate being told how to spend my time. > Have you ever tried to shame a narcissist, or someone with BPD? It definitely does not work on them. To be sure, a punch in the mouth may be more effective.
- hinkley 2mo ago
  > To be sure, a punch in the mouth may be more effective. HAH! Not all of us are big enough to get away with it, but you're not wrong. Well, also there's been a lot of feedback on both sides. I wasn't the first one to suggest that the rabble rousing was misplaced here. So, I guess we are both guilty of ignoring feedback.
antonvs 2mo ago
“Virtue signaling” is a term narcissists and psychopaths use when they encounter criticism they don’t like. I’m commenting because the post title was obnoxious and deserved to be called out. “Virtue signaling” has nothing to do with it. When someone insults me, even as part of a group, I don’t promise to sit idly by. No, it doesn’t matter to me that you apparently have no shame and will rationalize this criticism. I’m saying it because you and the OP deserve it, and if we don’t push back on this sort of bullshit, it’ll only get worse.

by hinkley 2mo ago

otterley 2mo ago

> You’re all here to clutch pearls. This has all turned into virtue signalling over a title. I disagree with your characterization, but you do you, I guess. > There are better things to be doing with your day. Perhaps so. There are probably better things for everyone on HN to be doing instead. Nevertheless, as autonomous people, we can choose our own priorities. I, for one, don't appreciate being told how to spend my time. > Have you ever tried to shame a narcissist, or someone with BPD? It definitely does not work on them. To be sure, a punch in the mouth may be more effective.

hinkley 2mo ago
> To be sure, a punch in the mouth may be more effective. HAH! Not all of us are big enough to get away with it, but you're not wrong. Well, also there's been a lot of feedback on both sides. I wasn't the first one to suggest that the rabble rousing was misplaced here. So, I guess we are both guilty of ignoring feedback.

antonvs 2mo ago

“Virtue signaling” is a term narcissists and psychopaths use when they encounter criticism they don’t like. I’m commenting because the post title was obnoxious and deserved to be called out. “Virtue signaling” has nothing to do with it. When someone insults me, even as part of a group, I don’t promise to sit idly by. No, it doesn’t matter to me that you apparently have no shame and will rationalize this criticism. I’m saying it because you and the OP deserve it, and if we don’t push back on this sort of bullshit, it’ll only get worse.