4 ms·

Want the Truth Behind “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother”? Read her blog.

30 points by caublestone 14y ago

binaryorganic 14y ago
I obviously don't know this woman and can't speak to the truth of anything she wrote, but the citations in this post don't really seem like the poster has uncovered anything but the fact that, like all people dealing with really tough situations, sometimes you just wanna throttle your kid for their, you know... being a kid. I was moved by the original post, but this follow-up seems a bit reaching for my taste.
- Tichy 14y ago
  Actually, no, you don't just sometimes end up to want to throttle your kid.
clyfe 14y ago
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome_by_proxy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome_by_pro...
jere 14y ago
There's a very big difference between imagining murdering people because they are annoying you and actually threatening it (like she claims her son has done). So I'll give her a pass on that. An amusing anecdote from Steven Pinker: http://youtu.be/LJvqR6Y9acw http://youtu.be/LJvqR6Y9acw >In surveys of homicidal fantasies, the question "Have you ever fantasized about killing someone who you don't like?"... 75% of men admit to at least occasionally having fantasized about killing someone. What does this say about human nature? It says that 25% of men are liars. I'm not sure which son is which. It would be pretty damning if the Steve Jobs kid was also supposed to be the mentally ill kid. None of the behavior she describes there is unusual or to me even disagreeable. The damn kid sounds like a genius who happens to be liberal (who is young and isn't?) and has an obsession with Steve Jobs (I'm guilty). But some people are saying in the comments that they are separate kids. >If I am wrong about this, I truly apologize. I'm thinking an apology may be on the way.
tribe 14y ago
I think that a better critique of "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother" can be found here [1], and discussed on hacker news here [2]. I think it is more productive to focus on the content of the original post than the author. [1] http://thegirlwhowasthursday.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/you-are-not-adam-lanzas-mother/ http://thegirlwhowasthursday.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/you-ar... [2] http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4929592 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4929592
GBKS 14y ago
In the viral post, the Mom wrote "I need help" and "This problem is too big for me to handle on my own". That's really the key thing here, independent of how her marriage turned out or whether she uses a blog to vent. She's losing control of the situation and is concerned her son will do something stupid in an act of rage. Her post is a plea to the general public to help people with mental illnesses, because sometimes the people in their vicinity aren't able to. Making her look bad detracts from that message, but does not take away from it (IMHO).
tlrobinson 14y ago
Most of these "fantasies" come across as tongue-in-cheek rants of a frustrated mother. Dysfunctional family, yeah. Over-sharing on a public blog? Certainly. Mentally ill? Not so sure.
molecule 14y ago
This article seems more like an Ad-Hominem attack upon Liza Long than any kind of critique on the points raised in I Am Adam Lanza's Mother.
johnnyn 14y ago
This is ridiculous. Parenting is really freaking hard. I'm a father of two small kids but I can't imagine being a single mom of four kids, with one mentally ill, like Liza. I commend her for being so honest and using her writing to get through such a difficult thing like parenting.
gorbachev 14y ago
I'm a parent. My kids are good kids. But they will drive me absolutely crazy pretty much every day. To a point where I think of doing all kinds unthinkable things to them. I also often fantasize just leaving, and living happily ever after. I will, of course, never do any of that, and I would do absolutely anything for my kids, incl. protecting their lives over mine. Sarah Kendzior either has no kids, or has some other motives for posting that garbage.
- johnnyn 14y ago
  This was my first instinct as well. She has must have no kids.
- Tichy 14y ago
  Could you give some examples? I guess my kid is still too young (2 years old), but I wonder, why not sometimes just let them be? I have sometimes been a little bit stressed out, but it wasn't his fault, and it didn't go as far as wanting to hurt him. I can not really imagine a lot of situations that would make me want to do that. Like if he is singing in the car - perhaps he just doesn't want to go where you want him to go? I mean I wonder if parents simply get angry because their kids are disobedient, but really they also don't respect their kids very much?
  - dagw 14y ago
    if he is singing in the car If singing in the car is even registers as misbehaving or disobedient on your scale then I think you should count yourself incredibly lucky that you have very well behaved child.
    - Tichy 14y ago
      I was referring to the blog posts, I think the mom wanted to choke her kid for singing in the car.
  - johnnyn 14y ago
    I can't speak for gorvechev but I can see why parents think of these things. It became exponentially more difficult with the addition of our second child. The older one is mostly sweet to the baby and she is super pleasant but there are times she is a "terrible" two. I'm not talking about not wanting to go somewhere, moreso throwing a toy on the baby or something like that. I have to protect both children but how do you handle a toddler picking on a baby? It becomes very hard. We don't spank our kids but there are times I really want to.
deleted 14y ago
[deleted]

30 points by caublestone 14y ago

I obviously don't know this woman and can't speak to the truth of anything she wrote, but the citations in this post don't really seem like the poster has uncovered anything but the fact that, like all people dealing with really tough situations, sometimes you just wanna throttle your kid for their, you know... being a kid. I was moved by the original post, but this follow-up seems a bit reaching for my taste.

Tichy 14y ago
Actually, no, you don't just sometimes end up to want to throttle your kid.

clyfe 14y ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome_by_proxy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome_by_pro...

jere 14y ago

There's a very big difference between imagining murdering people because they are annoying you and actually threatening it (like she claims her son has done). So I'll give her a pass on that. An amusing anecdote from Steven Pinker: http://youtu.be/LJvqR6Y9acw http://youtu.be/LJvqR6Y9acw >In surveys of homicidal fantasies, the question "Have you ever fantasized about killing someone who you don't like?"... 75% of men admit to at least occasionally having fantasized about killing someone. What does this say about human nature? It says that 25% of men are liars. I'm not sure which son is which. It would be pretty damning if the Steve Jobs kid was also supposed to be the mentally ill kid. None of the behavior she describes there is unusual or to me even disagreeable. The damn kid sounds like a genius who happens to be liberal (who is young and isn't?) and has an obsession with Steve Jobs (I'm guilty). But some people are saying in the comments that they are separate kids. >If I am wrong about this, I truly apologize. I'm thinking an apology may be on the way.

tribe 14y ago

I think that a better critique of "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother" can be found here [1], and discussed on hacker news here [2]. I think it is more productive to focus on the content of the original post than the author. [1] http://thegirlwhowasthursday.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/you-are-not-adam-lanzas-mother/ http://thegirlwhowasthursday.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/you-ar... [2] http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4929592 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4929592

GBKS 14y ago

In the viral post, the Mom wrote "I need help" and "This problem is too big for me to handle on my own". That's really the key thing here, independent of how her marriage turned out or whether she uses a blog to vent. She's losing control of the situation and is concerned her son will do something stupid in an act of rage. Her post is a plea to the general public to help people with mental illnesses, because sometimes the people in their vicinity aren't able to. Making her look bad detracts from that message, but does not take away from it (IMHO).

tlrobinson 14y ago

Most of these "fantasies" come across as tongue-in-cheek rants of a frustrated mother. Dysfunctional family, yeah. Over-sharing on a public blog? Certainly. Mentally ill? Not so sure.

molecule 14y ago

This article seems more like an Ad-Hominem attack upon Liza Long than any kind of critique on the points raised in I Am Adam Lanza's Mother.

johnnyn 14y ago

This is ridiculous. Parenting is really freaking hard. I'm a father of two small kids but I can't imagine being a single mom of four kids, with one mentally ill, like Liza. I commend her for being so honest and using her writing to get through such a difficult thing like parenting.

gorbachev 14y ago

I'm a parent. My kids are good kids. But they will drive me absolutely crazy pretty much every day. To a point where I think of doing all kinds unthinkable things to them. I also often fantasize just leaving, and living happily ever after. I will, of course, never do any of that, and I would do absolutely anything for my kids, incl. protecting their lives over mine. Sarah Kendzior either has no kids, or has some other motives for posting that garbage.

johnnyn 14y ago
This was my first instinct as well. She has must have no kids.
Tichy 14y ago
Could you give some examples? I guess my kid is still too young (2 years old), but I wonder, why not sometimes just let them be? I have sometimes been a little bit stressed out, but it wasn't his fault, and it didn't go as far as wanting to hurt him. I can not really imagine a lot of situations that would make me want to do that. Like if he is singing in the car - perhaps he just doesn't want to go where you want him to go? I mean I wonder if parents simply get angry because their kids are disobedient, but really they also don't respect their kids very much?
- dagw 14y ago
  if he is singing in the car If singing in the car is even registers as misbehaving or disobedient on your scale then I think you should count yourself incredibly lucky that you have very well behaved child.
  - Tichy 14y ago
    I was referring to the blog posts, I think the mom wanted to choke her kid for singing in the car.
- johnnyn 14y ago
  I can't speak for gorvechev but I can see why parents think of these things. It became exponentially more difficult with the addition of our second child. The older one is mostly sweet to the baby and she is super pleasant but there are times she is a "terrible" two. I'm not talking about not wanting to go somewhere, moreso throwing a toy on the baby or something like that. I have to protect both children but how do you handle a toddler picking on a baby? It becomes very hard. We don't spank our kids but there are times I really want to.

deleted 14y ago

[deleted]