5 ms·

I think this woman's blog post is interesting, for all the obvious reasons as well as the consideration that Aspergers and other forms of autism are associated

by jerrya 14y ago

I think this woman's blog post is interesting, for all the obvious reasons as well as the consideration that Aspergers and other forms of autism are associated with Silicon Valley children.

LatterJohn 14y ago
As someone from her sons perspective. Unfortunately, she doesn't deal with her son the way he needs to be dealt with. Stick him in-front a computer, surround him with electronics(DO NOT TAKE THEM AWAY, USE THEM AS THERAPY) and feed him. Nothing else... This is how your autist/aspy child becomes a brilliant geek. If you even attempt to program them in the NORMAL way, they will do nothing but, reject, and yes, call you a "stupid bitch"(as I have done to my own mother, apologies.) In public school, and even private institutions(outside of those full of computer-savvy aspy/autistic) the social-structure environment is completely inappropriate for someone such as her son, and he may(probably will) experience a "rejection" from the greater majority of peers. Social interaction from a terminal is not the same as true in-real-life social interaction, but it can be used as a bridge to safely communicate remotely, and also develop social-interactivity concepts for when he is in the real world. This mom seems to be (insanely)attempting to program a NOT-Normal-Child into a Normal-Child. She needs to be as proactive as possible to seek alternative programming methods for a child with Autism/Aspy. One thing she mentioned was that she would strip the electronic devices from him to institute punishment(THAT WILL GET YOU KILLED). Instead, use the electronic devices as an incentive to contribute to good things and when instructing punishment, have him USE the electronic devices to CONSTRUCT or, meditate in the cyber-environment) Maybe, he'll be the next Steve or Bill. Perhaps, he'll be the next Gary Mckinnon. Its all about the programming.
- dkarl 14y ago
  [Parent's account was created four hours ago, and this sounds like a troll. "It's all about the programming." Ha ha, very funny. But this is HN so I will give him the benefit of the doubt.] First, the kid isn't necessarily autistic just because he's a smart kid with behavioral problems. FTA: Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around.... You're pretty eager to jump to a diagnosis of autism without giving the other possibilities due consideration. Second, even if he is autistic, is there a single best way to treat every autistic kid? Certainly not every autistic kid has exactly the same condition he does. Having the savvy and self-control to apologize to try to get privileges back just minutes after throwing a screaming fit is not something that every thirteen-year-old autistic kid could do. Grabbing a knife and threatening murder-suicide because you've been told to do something is also not a universal feature of autism. Even if you're right that he's autistic, and even if that's his only problem, he may need different treatment than other autistic kids. Third, autistic kids are not naturally born to be wired to a computer the way worker bees are born to gather food and drone bees are born to breed. Temple Grandin wrote that she was very lucky to grow up in a time when children were forced to socialize and kids spent a lot of time making things with their hands instead of watching TV and playing video games. She wrote, "Even today I don't have a computer at home because it can have a hypnotic effect on me. I can get caught up watching certain screen savers for hours." You assume that he would use the computer to learn, explore, and connect, but that isn't a given. Autistic people don't naturally know what to do with a computer the way an infant knows what to do with a nipple. He might just play COD all day. Fourth, it sounds like the mom is just fine with him being different and only wants him to learn not to be violent and destructive so he can live a life outside institutions. The way the kid is behaving, he's headed to jail or a mental hospital. It also sounds like she's taken an interest in his condition, sought a lot of advice, and tried a lot of different things. FTA: ... various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. This is not a kid whose mom refuses to accept his difference. This is a kid whose mom taught his younger brothers a safety drill to execute when he picks up a weapon. She isn't aiming at "normal." She's aiming at "not a killer." And that leads to the final and most important point: being a brilliant geek won't necessarily stop him from killing someone someday.
- deleted 14y ago
  [deleted]
- AVTizzle 14y ago
  You're WAY over-simplifying an intense situation. You think this mother hasn't tried everything by this point? You think you know the simple, magic solution that could possibly reveal this kid to be the next Steve or Bill? A mother is the LAST person to give up hope. A mother is the LAST person to deny alternatives to a fucking insane asylum and police force. It's not as simple as shoving an iPad in the kids face. Respect the gravity.
- mscarborough 14y ago
  Instituting a mild punishment to a child "WILL GET YOU KILLED"? Really? This parent is not "insane" for trying to help her own kid, even if that might mean an institution.
  - guard-of-terra 14y ago
    There was a book about people who will starve if not allowed to read. Little geeks work the same way. Is starvation a mild punishment?
- jff 14y ago
  This is a terrible idea. I'm sure it's an attractive idea, the childhood you wished you had, but really it sounds like a good way to let your child sink deeper into isolation.
- jdale27 14y ago
  Maybe, he'll be the next Steve or Bill. Perhaps, he'll be the next Gary Mckinnon. Or the next Hans Reiser.
  - pjscott 14y ago
    Or the next person you've never heard of, because he hasn't achieved noteworthy success in business, homicide, and/or the creation of filesystems. Normal outcomes do sometimes happen (hence the name), but they don't get as much publicity.
- potatolicious 14y ago
  > "Maybe, he'll be the next Steve or Bill. Perhaps, he'll be the next Gary Mckinnon." Or maybe something will trigger him at age 20 and he makes good on his threats. > "This mom seems to be (insanely)attempting to program a NOT-Normal-Child into a Normal-Child." Because the "not normal" side of the child is violent, cunningly manipulative, and possibly homicidal. There is a line at which we draw acceptable behavior - homicidal and violent intent seems pretty liberal. This is not a typical aspie we're talking about. When a child has demonstrable, repeated, unpredictable, and extremely violent tendencies we can't just lock them in a room with a terminal and hope everything turns out ok.
  - JohnLatter 14y ago
    "When a child has demonstrable, repeated, unpredictable..." If its repeatable, its definitely predictable now. Thank you for the person who posted this method(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pivotal_response_therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pivotal_response_therapy), it was unknown to me before, but it seems to be what could be attempted in a majority of these situations. As far as anyone becoming more isolated...Why does a person have to be social in the first place, isolation is sometimes exactly what is needed even, wanted. In the mindset of certain autist/apsy, Tradition(s), family-concepts-dynamics, even self-preservation are completely worthless ideological fantasies. The violent behavior is purely reactive, and just an escalation of the manipulation technique that he is employing. He's SO SMART his brain is brute-forcing social methods of manipulation in order to obtain/achieve a goal/objective. If he is rejected one way, he will just attempt another method to get what he wants, and so on. Violence is usually the last resort of the reactions unless, he knows it will usually work the first attempt. Its intelligence that is both the savior & the enemy here.
    - mattmiller 14y ago
      You clearly have it figured out. You should call this woman have arrange to have the kid live with you for a few months. I'm sure he will be cured. Your last two comments may be the stupidest things I have ever heard. I would love to know more about you and know why you think you can fix such a complex problem in < 200 words.
- MartinCron 14y ago
  Unfortunately, she doesn't deal with her son the way he needs to be dealt with I understand the urge to sympathize with her son's perspective, but it's very possible that a parent, who has worked with this kid every day of his life, might know a thing or two more about how to be a parent than you do.

by jerrya 14y ago

I think this woman's blog post is interesting, for all the obvious reasons as well as the consideration that Aspergers and other forms of autism are associated with Silicon Valley children.

LatterJohn 14y ago

As someone from her sons perspective. Unfortunately, she doesn't deal with her son the way he needs to be dealt with. Stick him in-front a computer, surround him with electronics(DO NOT TAKE THEM AWAY, USE THEM AS THERAPY) and feed him. Nothing else... This is how your autist/aspy child becomes a brilliant geek. If you even attempt to program them in the NORMAL way, they will do nothing but, reject, and yes, call you a "stupid bitch"(as I have done to my own mother, apologies.) In public school, and even private institutions(outside of those full of computer-savvy aspy/autistic) the social-structure environment is completely inappropriate for someone such as her son, and he may(probably will) experience a "rejection" from the greater majority of peers. Social interaction from a terminal is not the same as true in-real-life social interaction, but it can be used as a bridge to safely communicate remotely, and also develop social-interactivity concepts for when he is in the real world. This mom seems to be (insanely)attempting to program a NOT-Normal-Child into a Normal-Child. She needs to be as proactive as possible to seek alternative programming methods for a child with Autism/Aspy. One thing she mentioned was that she would strip the electronic devices from him to institute punishment(THAT WILL GET YOU KILLED). Instead, use the electronic devices as an incentive to contribute to good things and when instructing punishment, have him USE the electronic devices to CONSTRUCT or, meditate in the cyber-environment) Maybe, he'll be the next Steve or Bill. Perhaps, he'll be the next Gary Mckinnon. Its all about the programming.

dkarl 14y ago
[Parent's account was created four hours ago, and this sounds like a troll. "It's all about the programming." Ha ha, very funny. But this is HN so I will give him the benefit of the doubt.] First, the kid isn't necessarily autistic just because he's a smart kid with behavioral problems. FTA: Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around.... You're pretty eager to jump to a diagnosis of autism without giving the other possibilities due consideration. Second, even if he is autistic, is there a single best way to treat every autistic kid? Certainly not every autistic kid has exactly the same condition he does. Having the savvy and self-control to apologize to try to get privileges back just minutes after throwing a screaming fit is not something that every thirteen-year-old autistic kid could do. Grabbing a knife and threatening murder-suicide because you've been told to do something is also not a universal feature of autism. Even if you're right that he's autistic, and even if that's his only problem, he may need different treatment than other autistic kids. Third, autistic kids are not naturally born to be wired to a computer the way worker bees are born to gather food and drone bees are born to breed. Temple Grandin wrote that she was very lucky to grow up in a time when children were forced to socialize and kids spent a lot of time making things with their hands instead of watching TV and playing video games. She wrote, "Even today I don't have a computer at home because it can have a hypnotic effect on me. I can get caught up watching certain screen savers for hours." You assume that he would use the computer to learn, explore, and connect, but that isn't a given. Autistic people don't naturally know what to do with a computer the way an infant knows what to do with a nipple. He might just play COD all day. Fourth, it sounds like the mom is just fine with him being different and only wants him to learn not to be violent and destructive so he can live a life outside institutions. The way the kid is behaving, he's headed to jail or a mental hospital. It also sounds like she's taken an interest in his condition, sought a lot of advice, and tried a lot of different things. FTA: ... various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. This is not a kid whose mom refuses to accept his difference. This is a kid whose mom taught his younger brothers a safety drill to execute when he picks up a weapon. She isn't aiming at "normal." She's aiming at "not a killer." And that leads to the final and most important point: being a brilliant geek won't necessarily stop him from killing someone someday.
deleted 14y ago
[deleted]
AVTizzle 14y ago
You're WAY over-simplifying an intense situation. You think this mother hasn't tried everything by this point? You think you know the simple, magic solution that could possibly reveal this kid to be the next Steve or Bill? A mother is the LAST person to give up hope. A mother is the LAST person to deny alternatives to a fucking insane asylum and police force. It's not as simple as shoving an iPad in the kids face. Respect the gravity.
mscarborough 14y ago
Instituting a mild punishment to a child "WILL GET YOU KILLED"? Really? This parent is not "insane" for trying to help her own kid, even if that might mean an institution.
- guard-of-terra 14y ago
  There was a book about people who will starve if not allowed to read. Little geeks work the same way. Is starvation a mild punishment?
jff 14y ago
This is a terrible idea. I'm sure it's an attractive idea, the childhood you wished you had, but really it sounds like a good way to let your child sink deeper into isolation.
jdale27 14y ago
Maybe, he'll be the next Steve or Bill. Perhaps, he'll be the next Gary Mckinnon. Or the next Hans Reiser.
- pjscott 14y ago
  Or the next person you've never heard of, because he hasn't achieved noteworthy success in business, homicide, and/or the creation of filesystems. Normal outcomes do sometimes happen (hence the name), but they don't get as much publicity.
potatolicious 14y ago
> "Maybe, he'll be the next Steve or Bill. Perhaps, he'll be the next Gary Mckinnon." Or maybe something will trigger him at age 20 and he makes good on his threats. > "This mom seems to be (insanely)attempting to program a NOT-Normal-Child into a Normal-Child." Because the "not normal" side of the child is violent, cunningly manipulative, and possibly homicidal. There is a line at which we draw acceptable behavior - homicidal and violent intent seems pretty liberal. This is not a typical aspie we're talking about. When a child has demonstrable, repeated, unpredictable, and extremely violent tendencies we can't just lock them in a room with a terminal and hope everything turns out ok.
- JohnLatter 14y ago
  "When a child has demonstrable, repeated, unpredictable..." If its repeatable, its definitely predictable now. Thank you for the person who posted this method(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pivotal_response_therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pivotal_response_therapy), it was unknown to me before, but it seems to be what could be attempted in a majority of these situations. As far as anyone becoming more isolated...Why does a person have to be social in the first place, isolation is sometimes exactly what is needed even, wanted. In the mindset of certain autist/apsy, Tradition(s), family-concepts-dynamics, even self-preservation are completely worthless ideological fantasies. The violent behavior is purely reactive, and just an escalation of the manipulation technique that he is employing. He's SO SMART his brain is brute-forcing social methods of manipulation in order to obtain/achieve a goal/objective. If he is rejected one way, he will just attempt another method to get what he wants, and so on. Violence is usually the last resort of the reactions unless, he knows it will usually work the first attempt. Its intelligence that is both the savior & the enemy here.
  - mattmiller 14y ago
    You clearly have it figured out. You should call this woman have arrange to have the kid live with you for a few months. I'm sure he will be cured. Your last two comments may be the stupidest things I have ever heard. I would love to know more about you and know why you think you can fix such a complex problem in < 200 words.
MartinCron 14y ago
Unfortunately, she doesn't deal with her son the way he needs to be dealt with I understand the urge to sympathize with her son's perspective, but it's very possible that a parent, who has worked with this kid every day of his life, might know a thing or two more about how to be a parent than you do.