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unsure why we're forgetting some kids do things even more when told it's annoying.

by NotAstroturfin 2mo ago

ShinyLeftPad 2mo ago
Because kids never had monopoly on violence in this relationship, their parents did
- NotAstroturfin 2mo ago
  so then never give up on telling them to do that thing that annoys you directly, and you're likely non-assertive if you figure a different way is more immediately effective to get your way, this is a funny conversation
  - ShinyLeftPad 2mo ago
    sorry can't parse your suggestion or see relevance
mpalczewski 2mo ago
Leverage, consequences and assertiveness are far better skills to learn when dealing with people including children rather than lies, shame and guilt.
- NotAstroturfin 2mo ago
  Some things become too annoying to want to have the same talk about & deal with too many times, I'm sure you've had that, doesn't make you non-assertive. it's not unfathomable that someone gave up at their 20th time to come up with such a scheme in the story about storymaking that you figured happened
  - mpalczewski 2mo ago
    that’s just you lacking skills and making an identity out of being assertive. Rather than calling them skills, you go straight to “doesn’t make you non-assertive”. Rather preferring manipulation because it’s convenient and the only thing you’ve been taught. then normalizing it and the only excuse, you can’t be bothered. sure someone gave up after their 20th time. becasue they wouldn’t do the difficult thing. if you are having the same talk it isn’t working. So what if someone is making noises I don’t like. I don’t spend time with them. with kids you have all sorts of leverage. let them decide if it’s worth while. Yet, people want the kids to like them. As if that’s some standard to uphold. The discomfort of someone not liking the thing you tell them. then go back to lies and manipulation because liking the image that you throw up is better. yeah it’s not unfathomable, it’s common. this is the common person you meet.

unsure why we're forgetting some kids do things even more when told it's annoying.

ShinyLeftPad 2mo ago

Because kids never had monopoly on violence in this relationship, their parents did

NotAstroturfin 2mo ago
so then never give up on telling them to do that thing that annoys you directly, and you're likely non-assertive if you figure a different way is more immediately effective to get your way, this is a funny conversation
- ShinyLeftPad 2mo ago
  sorry can't parse your suggestion or see relevance

mpalczewski 2mo ago

Leverage, consequences and assertiveness are far better skills to learn when dealing with people including children rather than lies, shame and guilt.

NotAstroturfin 2mo ago
Some things become too annoying to want to have the same talk about & deal with too many times, I'm sure you've had that, doesn't make you non-assertive. it's not unfathomable that someone gave up at their 20th time to come up with such a scheme in the story about storymaking that you figured happened
- mpalczewski 2mo ago
  that’s just you lacking skills and making an identity out of being assertive. Rather than calling them skills, you go straight to “doesn’t make you non-assertive”. Rather preferring manipulation because it’s convenient and the only thing you’ve been taught. then normalizing it and the only excuse, you can’t be bothered. sure someone gave up after their 20th time. becasue they wouldn’t do the difficult thing. if you are having the same talk it isn’t working. So what if someone is making noises I don’t like. I don’t spend time with them. with kids you have all sorts of leverage. let them decide if it’s worth while. Yet, people want the kids to like them. As if that’s some standard to uphold. The discomfort of someone not liking the thing you tell them. then go back to lies and manipulation because liking the image that you throw up is better. yeah it’s not unfathomable, it’s common. this is the common person you meet.