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It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painles

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painless for her and her family.

inigyou 2mo ago
[flagged]
- steve_adams_86 2mo ago
  My understanding is that these catastrophic events typically leave the victim unconscious before they have much time to suffer. I'm not an expert so I'm prepared to be wrong. I hope that was the case for her. I'm aware it could have hurt, too — I suppose the sentiment is that this wasn't a drawn out, needlessly arduous event of waiting and suffering.
  - inigyou 2mo ago
    My understanding is that people have enough time to register "holy fucking shit, this is it, I'm about to die" before they pass out. That's why they archetypically clutch their chests.
    - deleted 2mo ago
      [deleted]
- applfanboysbgon 2mo ago
  > she had a freak, vast cardiovascular event—and died instantly > But then, soon after, disaster struck, and she collapsed, the victim of a massive cardiovascular event. My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly Perhaps because you are contradicting the author of the tribute with your own unfounded assumptions about the particulars of her passing. I would wager he knows a little bit more about what she experienced than you, surmising in generalities, do. And really, what is the purpose of this quibbling? "Ah yes, I can't let this grieving man have any comfort -- I must assert that actually, his wife must've suffered quite a lot before she died".
  - tyromaniac 2mo ago
    [dead]
- Spooky23 2mo ago
  There are different ways to go. I lost my beautiful wife to cancer that was aggressive. The ups and downs, the terror and the joy of hope is brutal. At some point she knew, pretty late in the game but didn’t want to let us all down. My dad died from an aortic rupture. He went to grab turkey to make a sandwich and didn’t make it back from the pantry. It’s all hard, but knowing what she went through and the second guessing and impossible questions we all went through, I’ll take the fatal cardiac event any day.
gorgoiler 2mo ago
Thank you for the quote. Here is the verse in full… In Memoriam AHH, Tennyson I envy not in any moods The captive void of noble rage, The linnet born within the cage, That never knew the summer woods: I envy not the beast that takes His license in the field of time, Unfetter'd by the sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes; Nor, what may count itself as blest, The heart that never plighted troth But stagnates in the weeds of sloth; Nor any want-begotten rest. I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most; Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.
- deleted 2mo ago
  [deleted]
- SirHumphrey 2mo ago
  I keep coming back to In Memoriam AHH way more often than I would expect; it’s really a great piece of poetry.
- zem 2mo ago
  tennyson had another immortal line that I reach for in times like this: "But oh for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still" https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45318/break-break-break https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45318/break-break-bre...

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, god damn does it still hurt to move through that loss. I'm glad it was fast and painless for her and her family.

inigyou 2mo ago

[flagged]

steve_adams_86 2mo ago
My understanding is that these catastrophic events typically leave the victim unconscious before they have much time to suffer. I'm not an expert so I'm prepared to be wrong. I hope that was the case for her. I'm aware it could have hurt, too — I suppose the sentiment is that this wasn't a drawn out, needlessly arduous event of waiting and suffering.
- inigyou 2mo ago
  My understanding is that people have enough time to register "holy fucking shit, this is it, I'm about to die" before they pass out. That's why they archetypically clutch their chests.
  - deleted 2mo ago
    [deleted]
applfanboysbgon 2mo ago
> she had a freak, vast cardiovascular event—and died instantly > But then, soon after, disaster struck, and she collapsed, the victim of a massive cardiovascular event. My only solace in this tragedy is that the end came instantly Perhaps because you are contradicting the author of the tribute with your own unfounded assumptions about the particulars of her passing. I would wager he knows a little bit more about what she experienced than you, surmising in generalities, do. And really, what is the purpose of this quibbling? "Ah yes, I can't let this grieving man have any comfort -- I must assert that actually, his wife must've suffered quite a lot before she died".
- tyromaniac 2mo ago
  [dead]
Spooky23 2mo ago
There are different ways to go. I lost my beautiful wife to cancer that was aggressive. The ups and downs, the terror and the joy of hope is brutal. At some point she knew, pretty late in the game but didn’t want to let us all down. My dad died from an aortic rupture. He went to grab turkey to make a sandwich and didn’t make it back from the pantry. It’s all hard, but knowing what she went through and the second guessing and impossible questions we all went through, I’ll take the fatal cardiac event any day.

gorgoiler 2mo ago

Thank you for the quote. Here is the verse in full… In Memoriam AHH, Tennyson I envy not in any moods The captive void of noble rage, The linnet born within the cage, That never knew the summer woods: I envy not the beast that takes His license in the field of time, Unfetter'd by the sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes; Nor, what may count itself as blest, The heart that never plighted troth But stagnates in the weeds of sloth; Nor any want-begotten rest. I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it when I sorrow most; Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

deleted 2mo ago
[deleted]
SirHumphrey 2mo ago
I keep coming back to In Memoriam AHH way more often than I would expect; it’s really a great piece of poetry.
zem 2mo ago
tennyson had another immortal line that I reach for in times like this: "But oh for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still" https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45318/break-break-break https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45318/break-break-bre...