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Disclaimer: This is my own personal experience and opinion. I've dealt with substance abuse issues for many years and I've known several people for whom substan

by dos1 14y ago

Disclaimer: This is my own personal experience and opinion. I've dealt with substance abuse issues for many years and I've known several people for whom substance abuse exacted the ultimate toll. The short of it: There are no reliable solutions. There are no good answers. People with depression and substance abuse issues don't think the way non abusers do. They know what they're doing is wrong and that it could lead to death or going further down the spiral, but their ability to rationalize their behavior is all powerful. It has nothing to do with will power or motivation. There's something wired differently in the brain. Medication, AA, NA, inpatient treatment, religion are all good things to try. Sometimes one of them sticks. I wish you the best of luck. The only advice I can give is this: If something bad happens with your father, it is not your fault. There is nothing you can do to change his behavior. All you can do is be supportive if he recognizes the need to make a change.

uxp 14y ago
This is actually really good information. Above all else, no one can "make it right" except for the person with the substance abuse problem. I've spent years trying to put my alcoholic mother into this program or that group. I've even gone so far as to give myself depression issues over the situation. But, at the end of the day, she's the only that can decide to make the situation better and do something about it. Today, the only thing I can do is make my life better, even if it means cutting ties with her as she becomes more unresponsive. It's an absolutely brutal hurdle to get over, but it's the absolute truth.
danieldk 14y ago
People with depression and substance abuse issues don't think the way non abusers do. They know what they're doing is wrong and that it could lead to death or going further down the spiral, but their ability to rationalize their behavior is all powerful. It has nothing to do with will power or motivation. There's something wired differently in the brain. This. What helped me is to see the good person behind the illness and separate that him or her from the illness. During bad moment, it will affect you less (it's the illness, not that soul that is affected by it), during good moments it is easier to connect to that person. Also, if someone has a severe mental illness that cannot be cured or properly medicated, and has young children, protect them if it is within your power. Every child has the right (and need) to grow up in a safe environment.

by dos1 14y ago

uxp 14y ago

This is actually really good information. Above all else, no one can "make it right" except for the person with the substance abuse problem. I've spent years trying to put my alcoholic mother into this program or that group. I've even gone so far as to give myself depression issues over the situation. But, at the end of the day, she's the only that can decide to make the situation better and do something about it. Today, the only thing I can do is make my life better, even if it means cutting ties with her as she becomes more unresponsive. It's an absolutely brutal hurdle to get over, but it's the absolute truth.

danieldk 14y ago

People with depression and substance abuse issues don't think the way non abusers do. They know what they're doing is wrong and that it could lead to death or going further down the spiral, but their ability to rationalize their behavior is all powerful. It has nothing to do with will power or motivation. There's something wired differently in the brain. This. What helped me is to see the good person behind the illness and separate that him or her from the illness. During bad moment, it will affect you less (it's the illness, not that soul that is affected by it), during good moments it is easier to connect to that person. Also, if someone has a severe mental illness that cannot be cured or properly medicated, and has young children, protect them if it is within your power. Every child has the right (and need) to grow up in a safe environment.