> if you make a point of never shooting the shit with your coworkers how will you ever really come across this kind of info? Asking coworkers about their hobbi

> if you make a point of never shooting the shit with your coworkers how will you ever really come across this kind of info? Asking coworkers about their hobbies is well within the domain of small talk that serves as the exploration for what you have in common with someone else. Small talk is universally acceptable, not only in the context of communities that you're already a part of, but even as part of striking up a conversation with strangers. Again - private grief is not small talk, and even if you have expert-level small talk skills, that doesn't mean that you will build friendship with everyone.