5 ms·

Work out daily? OK, but how socially fit are you? (2023)

43 points by tchalla 2mo ago

dominotw 2mo ago
i feel more stressed out by all these things you are supposed to do to not die in misery. Nothing is enough. There is always some other thing to do.
- dyauspitr 2mo ago
  Seriously, it was all so much easier when they all happened as a natural course of the day back in the day not even a few decades ago. Now you have to specifically schedule all these things because we have gotten rid of a lot of the fixtures that made this happen automatically in the course of a day.
  - deleted 2mo ago
    [deleted]
- johsole 2mo ago
  Like most things, 80-20 rule probably applies. > It was satisfaction in their relationships, particularly in their marriages, that was the best predictor of a happy and healthy life. Good marriages is probably the 80. If you nailed that you've won.
  - mutator 2mo ago
    Yea man. Agree so much here. For those struggling, wonder if there’s anything out there outside of therapy.
- CoolestBeans 2mo ago
  Keep it simple and boil it down to the big categories: for example, physical health, mental health, social health. Don't try to do it all at once, if you can touch one category each day great. If you can touch every category every day even better. The good thing is that most healthy activities feel good to do, so they're self-perpetuating. They don't give the instant shot of dopamine as unhealthy activities but they do give you something. Furthermore, they feed into each other. Doing one habit makes the resistance to starting another less.
- goodmythical 2mo ago
  The article isn't really suggesting anything new, just something that perhaps have forgotten/neglected/never learned. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs listed physical and social health, among other things, as prequisites for a happy healthy life in 1943.
- mathgeek 2mo ago
  > Nothing is enough. Words to live by!
- adammarples 2mo ago
  Have relationships, walk, sleep, eat food. It's all actually quite relaxing and enjoyable stuff, nothing to stress over.
throw0101d 2mo ago
The book in question: * https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61273746-the-good-life https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61273746-the-good-life Excerpt: * https://archive.is/https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/01/harvard-happiness-study-relationships/672753/ https://archive.is/https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive... See also discussions on happiness from earlier: * https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48996364 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48996364 * https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49000600 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49000600 * https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47441784 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47441784
hallole 2mo ago
Wow, I could keel over any minute...
johsole 2mo ago
I would describe myself as an introvert, but one thing I absolutely nailed was my marriage. I married someone who fits with me so well. We've been married for almost 14 years, we have 3 kids, and lots of responsibilities, but we still have lots of fun hanging out with each other and we make time to do that. Some of our most fun dates are still just going on walks and having a meal together. I think if you've got a marriage like that, you've won. If you can layer on a few friendships, than you have plenty, and if you can layer on a community like a Church then you have abundance. If you don't know where to start, a Church is a great place to start.
- bluefirebrand 2mo ago
  I've come around to the idea of Church as a community building utility, third space sort of thing, but the religious aspect does not appeal to me at all so that's not an option to me. I'm not going to go surround myself with people that I disagree with on such a fundamental philosophical level and call that my community As community organizations I think Churches seem at least somewhat decent. If only we could keep the community stuff without the religious stuff. I dunno. I think we need (free / community funded) third spaces to make a big comeback. Where do people even go to meet anyone now? I have a counselor suggesting I go try out tech conferences and meetups, but those have always felt like career building activities to me, not social activities. It's not the same at all.
  - onlypassingthru 2mo ago
    >I think we need (free / community funded) third spaces to make a big comeback. Where do people even go to meet anyone now? Ireland and Australia seem to have something going with the Men's Sheds. https://menssheds.ie/ https://menssheds.ie/ https://mensshed.org/ https://mensshed.org/
    - bluefirebrand 2mo ago
      Huh. I wonder if I'd have any luck getting something like this going near me I'll look into it, maybe someone else is already trying
impish9208 2mo ago
My reaction to this is the same as when I first listened to Sam Harris’ conversation with Robert Waldinger (interviewee in the article): I am in danger.
- fhn 2mo ago
  No your not. There is no proof that this is true. Have they even confirmed the stress hormones? "what we think happens is that the body stays in a kind of low-level fight-or-flight mode, and that means that there are higher levels of circulating stress hormones and higher levels of inflammation" shows tells me they have not but this would be an easy thing to measure. I argue that having friends can cause more stressful having to listen to all their aches and pains, pick them up, etc. The reason for the higher mortality rate may be when accidents happen, nobody is there to call 911 and you're dead or perhaps you take on all work by yourself(roofing, concrete, etc). I'm in the same boat but I am too busy to worry about loneliness.
deleted 2mo ago
[deleted]

43 points by tchalla 2mo ago

i feel more stressed out by all these things you are supposed to do to not die in misery. Nothing is enough. There is always some other thing to do.

dyauspitr 2mo ago
Seriously, it was all so much easier when they all happened as a natural course of the day back in the day not even a few decades ago. Now you have to specifically schedule all these things because we have gotten rid of a lot of the fixtures that made this happen automatically in the course of a day.
- deleted 2mo ago
  [deleted]
johsole 2mo ago
Like most things, 80-20 rule probably applies. > It was satisfaction in their relationships, particularly in their marriages, that was the best predictor of a happy and healthy life. Good marriages is probably the 80. If you nailed that you've won.
- mutator 2mo ago
  Yea man. Agree so much here. For those struggling, wonder if there’s anything out there outside of therapy.
CoolestBeans 2mo ago
Keep it simple and boil it down to the big categories: for example, physical health, mental health, social health. Don't try to do it all at once, if you can touch one category each day great. If you can touch every category every day even better. The good thing is that most healthy activities feel good to do, so they're self-perpetuating. They don't give the instant shot of dopamine as unhealthy activities but they do give you something. Furthermore, they feed into each other. Doing one habit makes the resistance to starting another less.
goodmythical 2mo ago
The article isn't really suggesting anything new, just something that perhaps have forgotten/neglected/never learned. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs listed physical and social health, among other things, as prequisites for a happy healthy life in 1943.
mathgeek 2mo ago
> Nothing is enough. Words to live by!
adammarples 2mo ago
Have relationships, walk, sleep, eat food. It's all actually quite relaxing and enjoyable stuff, nothing to stress over.

throw0101d 2mo ago

The book in question: * https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61273746-the-good-life https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61273746-the-good-life Excerpt: * https://archive.is/https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/01/harvard-happiness-study-relationships/672753/ https://archive.is/https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive... See also discussions on happiness from earlier: * https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48996364 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48996364 * https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49000600 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49000600 * https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47441784 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47441784

hallole 2mo ago

Wow, I could keel over any minute...

johsole 2mo ago

I would describe myself as an introvert, but one thing I absolutely nailed was my marriage. I married someone who fits with me so well. We've been married for almost 14 years, we have 3 kids, and lots of responsibilities, but we still have lots of fun hanging out with each other and we make time to do that. Some of our most fun dates are still just going on walks and having a meal together. I think if you've got a marriage like that, you've won. If you can layer on a few friendships, than you have plenty, and if you can layer on a community like a Church then you have abundance. If you don't know where to start, a Church is a great place to start.

bluefirebrand 2mo ago
I've come around to the idea of Church as a community building utility, third space sort of thing, but the religious aspect does not appeal to me at all so that's not an option to me. I'm not going to go surround myself with people that I disagree with on such a fundamental philosophical level and call that my community As community organizations I think Churches seem at least somewhat decent. If only we could keep the community stuff without the religious stuff. I dunno. I think we need (free / community funded) third spaces to make a big comeback. Where do people even go to meet anyone now? I have a counselor suggesting I go try out tech conferences and meetups, but those have always felt like career building activities to me, not social activities. It's not the same at all.
- onlypassingthru 2mo ago
  >I think we need (free / community funded) third spaces to make a big comeback. Where do people even go to meet anyone now? Ireland and Australia seem to have something going with the Men's Sheds. https://menssheds.ie/ https://menssheds.ie/ https://mensshed.org/ https://mensshed.org/
  - bluefirebrand 2mo ago
    Huh. I wonder if I'd have any luck getting something like this going near me I'll look into it, maybe someone else is already trying

impish9208 2mo ago

My reaction to this is the same as when I first listened to Sam Harris’ conversation with Robert Waldinger (interviewee in the article): I am in danger.

fhn 2mo ago
No your not. There is no proof that this is true. Have they even confirmed the stress hormones? "what we think happens is that the body stays in a kind of low-level fight-or-flight mode, and that means that there are higher levels of circulating stress hormones and higher levels of inflammation" shows tells me they have not but this would be an easy thing to measure. I argue that having friends can cause more stressful having to listen to all their aches and pains, pick them up, etc. The reason for the higher mortality rate may be when accidents happen, nobody is there to call 911 and you're dead or perhaps you take on all work by yourself(roofing, concrete, etc). I'm in the same boat but I am too busy to worry about loneliness.

deleted 2mo ago

[deleted]