6 ms·

In some countries there are varying degrees of consent. If you are over 16 you can do anything you want with everyone else over 16, if you are between 14 and 16

by mixmax 18y ago

In some countries there are varying degrees of consent. If you are over 16 you can do anything you want with everyone else over 16, if you are between 14 and 16 there is an age consideration, so if you are 14 and screw around with someone that's 14 you're OK, but of you're 25 and screw around with someone that's 14 it's not OK. I think that's a pretty good way of doing it: Let the kids play, as long as they don't do so with adults. As a strange aside: In Mexico the legal age of consent is 12!! Source: http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

jrockway 18y ago
Interesting. I don't think 12 is an unreasonable number. I had a pretty good understanding of sex at 12... so it would be dumb to put me in jail for having sex at that age. OTOH, I could see how pressuring a 12 year old to consent (and not tell anyone about it) could be pretty easy... and that's not good. (FWIW, people over 18 are also pressured into sex they don't really want, so I am not sure how to deal with this.)
- electromagnetic 18y ago
  I think teaching kids from an early age that sex is okay and being pressured to have sex isn't would solve your latter problem. In the UK there's a close-in-age exception for anyone under 16 (the legal age is 16). Canada just last year changed their age of consent to match, moving the AoC up to 16 from 14. This is just a simple equation I use in my head to figure out if a relationship is creepy-weird when dating and it's quite simple. Here's my example, (21 - 13) / 2 = 4, so in this instance a 21 year old can date a 17 year old or a 25 year old without the age difference being weird. It seems to hold up for most 'accepted' relationships, including the like 80 year olds married to the 50 year olds, but not the 80 year olds married to the 20 year olds that people find disgusting. Personally I'd say it's okay for 12-13 year olds to have sex with 12-13 year olds because as a culture we seem to be subconsciously pushing for it. 14 and over I'd say the close-in-age exceptions apply well, a 14 year old can have sex with someone within 5 years of their own age without it being a crime and over 16 you have the right to choose who and how you do it, although I wouldn't disagree with a law making a bigger close-in-age for 16-18 of like 10-15 years. It's socially accepted that a couple are usually within a 10-15 year age difference of each other.
  - mixmax 18y ago
    I have another formula that works very well, and takes into consideration that the older you get the wider the age gap can be. your age > (her age / 2) + 7 So: if you're 16 she should be at least 14 if you're 20 she should be at least 17 if you're 30 she should be at least 22 if you're 50 she should be at least 32 These all seem to fit nicely into the acceptable ranges. Doesn't work too well if you're under 14 though :-)
    - brandnewlow 18y ago
      Did you pull that from reading the Mystery method? :)
    - joeyo 18y ago
      If you define it more generally: younger_person >= (older_person / 2) + 7 it has the added advantage that it proscribes anyone younger than 14 ever having sex (with anyone of any age) since the inequality could never be satisfied. For example if the older person was 12, then the younger person would have to be at least 13, which is impossible. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_your_age_plus_seven http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_your_age_plus_seven
    - wlievens 18y ago
      I've read this rule before. Are you a Something Awful goon by any chance? I have a 28-year old friend who has an 18-year old girl, there's no problem there, so this rule doesn't always apply.
  - unalone 18y ago
    Being pressured isn't always the problem. Seduction is a bigger issue. My ex-girlfriend had an affair with a teacher when she was 15, he 23. (You cited 16, but 15 is fairly close to that boundary.) It was entirely voluntary, and when I talked to her about it she got very indignant: in her mind, her consent was all that was necessary, and if it was voluntary then it was all right. The problem, as my parents explained to me when I was younger, isn't that you're not physically ready, because after adolescence starts you're physically primed for sex. The problem is that before you've matured to a certain degree, you're not mentally ready to handle hormones, and while I think that's completely fine between, say, two high school kids who lust after one another, once you're in your 20s and you realize that these younger children are easily taken advantage of, then your using that is despicable. While I think better sex ed would help a lot, I agree with the current age of consent in the U.S. Eighteen means you're old enough not to be taken in by somebody as easily. The rules about child porn need to be changed, because becoming a sex offender over "sexting" is stupid, but the rules about having sex make logical sense to me.

by mixmax 18y ago

jrockway 18y ago

Interesting. I don't think 12 is an unreasonable number. I had a pretty good understanding of sex at 12... so it would be dumb to put me in jail for having sex at that age. OTOH, I could see how pressuring a 12 year old to consent (and not tell anyone about it) could be pretty easy... and that's not good. (FWIW, people over 18 are also pressured into sex they don't really want, so I am not sure how to deal with this.)

electromagnetic 18y ago
I think teaching kids from an early age that sex is okay and being pressured to have sex isn't would solve your latter problem. In the UK there's a close-in-age exception for anyone under 16 (the legal age is 16). Canada just last year changed their age of consent to match, moving the AoC up to 16 from 14. This is just a simple equation I use in my head to figure out if a relationship is creepy-weird when dating and it's quite simple. Here's my example, (21 - 13) / 2 = 4, so in this instance a 21 year old can date a 17 year old or a 25 year old without the age difference being weird. It seems to hold up for most 'accepted' relationships, including the like 80 year olds married to the 50 year olds, but not the 80 year olds married to the 20 year olds that people find disgusting. Personally I'd say it's okay for 12-13 year olds to have sex with 12-13 year olds because as a culture we seem to be subconsciously pushing for it. 14 and over I'd say the close-in-age exceptions apply well, a 14 year old can have sex with someone within 5 years of their own age without it being a crime and over 16 you have the right to choose who and how you do it, although I wouldn't disagree with a law making a bigger close-in-age for 16-18 of like 10-15 years. It's socially accepted that a couple are usually within a 10-15 year age difference of each other.
- mixmax 18y ago
  I have another formula that works very well, and takes into consideration that the older you get the wider the age gap can be. your age > (her age / 2) + 7 So: if you're 16 she should be at least 14 if you're 20 she should be at least 17 if you're 30 she should be at least 22 if you're 50 she should be at least 32 These all seem to fit nicely into the acceptable ranges. Doesn't work too well if you're under 14 though :-)
  - brandnewlow 18y ago
    Did you pull that from reading the Mystery method? :)
  - joeyo 18y ago
    If you define it more generally: younger_person >= (older_person / 2) + 7 it has the added advantage that it proscribes anyone younger than 14 ever having sex (with anyone of any age) since the inequality could never be satisfied. For example if the older person was 12, then the younger person would have to be at least 13, which is impossible. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_your_age_plus_seven http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_your_age_plus_seven
  - wlievens 18y ago
    I've read this rule before. Are you a Something Awful goon by any chance? I have a 28-year old friend who has an 18-year old girl, there's no problem there, so this rule doesn't always apply.
- unalone 18y ago
  Being pressured isn't always the problem. Seduction is a bigger issue. My ex-girlfriend had an affair with a teacher when she was 15, he 23. (You cited 16, but 15 is fairly close to that boundary.) It was entirely voluntary, and when I talked to her about it she got very indignant: in her mind, her consent was all that was necessary, and if it was voluntary then it was all right. The problem, as my parents explained to me when I was younger, isn't that you're not physically ready, because after adolescence starts you're physically primed for sex. The problem is that before you've matured to a certain degree, you're not mentally ready to handle hormones, and while I think that's completely fine between, say, two high school kids who lust after one another, once you're in your 20s and you realize that these younger children are easily taken advantage of, then your using that is despicable. While I think better sex ed would help a lot, I agree with the current age of consent in the U.S. Eighteen means you're old enough not to be taken in by somebody as easily. The rules about child porn need to be changed, because becoming a sex offender over "sexting" is stupid, but the rules about having sex make logical sense to me.