As someone who has never used LLMs to write text, so am not familiar with the specific stylistic choices that any particular LLM likes, nothing in there seemed

As someone who has never used LLMs to write text, so am not familiar with the specific stylistic choices that any particular LLM likes, nothing in there seemed out of the ordinary for decent human writing. Are you sure what caused you problems was LLM style rather than all the specialized music terminology?