4 ms·

I know plenty of women who have delayed starting a family and they were well aware of the increased risks.. as they struggled to meet the right person, establis

I know plenty of women who have delayed starting a family and they were well aware of the increased risks.. as they struggled to meet the right person, establish themselves professionally etc. They were certainly not brainwashed.

OutOfHere 3mo ago
[flagged]
- watwut 3mo ago
  Having kid with the wrong person is even shittier experience then marrying them. You can divorce and never see the guy again, ut you cant get rid of baby daddy. > meeting a partner in one's teen years, and getting it done by age 20 is best because one is the least picky then among all of one's fertile years Considering staggering rates of violence, domestic abuse and even rape in such circles, this not the best individual decision. The kids themselves get abused and neglected way more often in those circles too.
  - OutOfHere 3mo ago
    > Considering staggering rates of violence, domestic abuse and even rape in such circles That's a nonsense argument since it's completely orthogonal to what I noted. Whatever you mean by "such circles" and "those circles" has no relation to what I noted. If women seek out partners with bad character, they will have to live with the consequences. At any age that's 18 or above, it is the woman's responsibility to ensure the partner is a respectable person from a respectable family before having a child with them. It doesn't take more than a few months of being together to determine it. If the person was initially good but becomes "wrong" later, this can in principle happen at any age. A higher age won't guard against it. In reality, the common reasons for the delay are banal, like not matching a wildly-high near-seven-figure income, six-foot height, eye color, etc.
    - watwut 3mo ago
      Not orthogonal at all. Having a kid as teenager makes you more vulnerable and vulnerable people are abused more. Simple. Respectable men from respectable families beat their wives. > At any age that's 18 or above, it is the woman's responsibility to ensure the partner is a respectable person from a respectable family before having a child with them. It doesn't take more than a few months of being together to determine it. Abusers can and do act nice for a few months when dating. It takes a lot more then that. And you are ALREADY blaming hypothetical woman for mens violence. You are blaming women for keeping themselves safe and also for violence done to them when they so what you want them to do.
      - OutOfHere 3mo ago
        You are confusing risk reduction with receiving blame. For example, engaging in defensive driving while on the road is for risk reduction. It doesn't mean I blame such a safe driver if a collision happens anyway.
HedonicEscal8r 3mo ago
I know someone who knew such a women that benefited from this suggestion, so for what it's worth: women who feel strongly about having kids but are struggling to find a suitable partner should consider instead finding a suitable sperm donor through the appropriate legal channels, and raising the kid alone.
- OutOfHere 3mo ago
  That can work but there are some risks: 1. It greatly lowers the genetic diversity in the population, and this is dooming. This can be consequential because some such donors can have serious cancer causing genes that trigger at an early age, that are not apparent from the profile, as has happened. 2. You never know if a staffer will use his sperm instead or will simply make an error in which sperm gets used. It happens often enough. The woman is then left with the worst of all choices.

OutOfHere 3mo ago

[flagged]

watwut 3mo ago
Having kid with the wrong person is even shittier experience then marrying them. You can divorce and never see the guy again, ut you cant get rid of baby daddy. > meeting a partner in one's teen years, and getting it done by age 20 is best because one is the least picky then among all of one's fertile years Considering staggering rates of violence, domestic abuse and even rape in such circles, this not the best individual decision. The kids themselves get abused and neglected way more often in those circles too.
- OutOfHere 3mo ago
  > Considering staggering rates of violence, domestic abuse and even rape in such circles That's a nonsense argument since it's completely orthogonal to what I noted. Whatever you mean by "such circles" and "those circles" has no relation to what I noted. If women seek out partners with bad character, they will have to live with the consequences. At any age that's 18 or above, it is the woman's responsibility to ensure the partner is a respectable person from a respectable family before having a child with them. It doesn't take more than a few months of being together to determine it. If the person was initially good but becomes "wrong" later, this can in principle happen at any age. A higher age won't guard against it. In reality, the common reasons for the delay are banal, like not matching a wildly-high near-seven-figure income, six-foot height, eye color, etc.
  - watwut 3mo ago
    Not orthogonal at all. Having a kid as teenager makes you more vulnerable and vulnerable people are abused more. Simple. Respectable men from respectable families beat their wives. > At any age that's 18 or above, it is the woman's responsibility to ensure the partner is a respectable person from a respectable family before having a child with them. It doesn't take more than a few months of being together to determine it. Abusers can and do act nice for a few months when dating. It takes a lot more then that. And you are ALREADY blaming hypothetical woman for mens violence. You are blaming women for keeping themselves safe and also for violence done to them when they so what you want them to do.
    - OutOfHere 3mo ago
      You are confusing risk reduction with receiving blame. For example, engaging in defensive driving while on the road is for risk reduction. It doesn't mean I blame such a safe driver if a collision happens anyway.

HedonicEscal8r 3mo ago

I know someone who knew such a women that benefited from this suggestion, so for what it's worth: women who feel strongly about having kids but are struggling to find a suitable partner should consider instead finding a suitable sperm donor through the appropriate legal channels, and raising the kid alone.

OutOfHere 3mo ago
That can work but there are some risks: 1. It greatly lowers the genetic diversity in the population, and this is dooming. This can be consequential because some such donors can have serious cancer causing genes that trigger at an early age, that are not apparent from the profile, as has happened. 2. You never know if a staffer will use his sperm instead or will simply make an error in which sperm gets used. It happens often enough. The woman is then left with the worst of all choices.