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I think "this doesn't happen to me" is a valid response. We're all here sharing. I find the internet full of panic and fear and negativity these days and it o

by duxup 4mo ago

I think "this doesn't happen to me" is a valid response. We're all here sharing. I find the internet full of panic and fear and negativity these days and it overstates how pervasive a thing is. Example: I travel to Disney World sometimes. There's a recent hubub about transportation and the blame is all on "OMG THE INFLUENCERS ARE EVERYWHERE". In those situations it's interesting how many people will spread those stories about influencers saturating the park / causing problems and yet ... most every user who replies "I've never seen one at the park". Everyone's experience is valid IMO. Everyone gets to express their lived experience. There used to be a lot of "abusive start up demands massive hours" talk on HN. I actually think people expressing how it isn't that way everywhere / doesn't have to be that way is VERY helpful. Folks in those situations now know that maybe they have options.

bluealienpie 4mo ago
This is the media equivalent of showing a family swimming on the lake when discussing heatwave death. You have valid life experience but it’s not relevant to the topic at hand.
- duxup 4mo ago
  It's relevant. We're people sharing and discussing, not a TV show. The idea that if we're discussing a problem that only people with that problem may share their experience is absurd at face value.
  - DetroitThrow 4mo ago
    "10% of Americans are uninsured. A US state is pushing to insure all of their residents." "I'm insured!" "Open-source software projects are being spammed with LLM generated PRs. Contributions are becoming more restricted". "I have a repo that isn't being spammed!" Sometimes sharing a somewhat related experience is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand, and also completely uninteresting. It does not matter that somehow their "experience is valid".
    - duxup 4mo ago
      This is a forum where people share their opinions and experience, not a TV show or news story or narrative. If people's opinions or thoughts don't fit a narrative you want, a forum likely isn't the place to find it. Everyone gets to share, there's no rules here about not sharing / having a different experience than others.
      - DetroitThrow 4mo ago
        Everyone gets to share but it's also completely within the forum rules to call out irrelevant anecdotes as uninteresting to the discussion. I have no idea why you're making a comparison to a TV show; nothing that was described was anything akin to that. I just made examples out of insufferable and clueless forum comments, that very clearly detract from discussion more than they contribute to it. I don't think you should assume that describing meaningless and unrelated anecdotes as "uninteresting" is equivalent to users calling for a forum ban, which is seemingly what you're doing when you point to forum rules when encountering a critique.
      - grayhatter 4mo ago
        > Everyone gets to share, there's no rules here about not sharing / having a different experience than others. I disagree that this is a fair interpretation of the original objection. But assuming it is a possible interpretation, "that doesn't happen to me" isn't sharing an experience, it's sharing the lack of an experience. Sure, yes, everyone does get to share, on a public forum, expecting otherwise is dumb. On that, 100% with you! And yet, I feel like there's an important difference between sharing how your favorite color is blue, after someone said they like red the best, and sharing how you're not being mistreated, when someone is asking for help to stop someone from mistreating them. You see how one is everyone sharing together, and the other appears to minimize the mistreatment of someone else?
      - roughly 4mo ago
        You have the right to say or post whatever you want (within the rules of the forum). You will not get thrown out for doing so. You may have other people come along and tell you they didn’t get anything useful from your post, though, which is also their right.
  - _DeadFred_ 4mo ago
    [flagged]
gofreddygo 4mo ago
Its valid but useless. Think someone says i'm thirsty all the time because there's little clean water available, what's available is expensive but it could be better if we did so-and-so. and someone replies I'm not thirsty.
- roughly 4mo ago
  It’s impossible for a lizard to convince a sheepdog to turn up the thermostat. It’s impossible for a sheepdog to convince a lizard to turn down the thermostat. Which one is right?
  - atoav 4mo ago
    The two things you have commented on are not equivalent. One person offers insight and the other reacts. Such a reaction is inherently on a different plane than a original statement, because you chose to make it about yourself, in the presence of another persons slice of their reality. To give a crass example: A: I had a shitty day, they took my dog and killed it B: Well, *my* dog is still alive To which I would say: Congrats on telegraphing to the world you are a self-centered asshole that wouldn't recognize the concept of empathy if it jumped into their face.
atoav 4mo ago
Counterpoint: anecdotal evidence is sometimes actively harmful and you should consider not sharing it in certain situations. I know, some people have the reflexive urge to make every situation about themselves, but I think you should instead be aware that (1) your own experience is not necessarily representative of the broader reality and (2) even if it is may distract from the topic being discussed. Don't get me wrong, everybodies lived experience is in fact valid. And yet that doesn't mean it is appropriate to share it at all times. If your friend tells you their newborn died during childbirth telling them: "Well mine didn't" would be actively abusive behavior. If someone tells you an intimate story about how being poor affected them as a child, there are certain ways to share your experience of how your parents always bought you everything you wanted that productively add to the topic and others that distract from it. Always remember that everybody just sharing their experience is a different thing from you reacting on some others experience. What may be a fun anecdote for you, may be a life-defining experience for others. Aside from these examples anecdotal evidence can be destructive if it ignores that the plural of anecdotes is not data.
fossilwater 4mo ago
While abusive work environments may not be the norm for the majority of people, this being a law will benefit everyone. Saying this doesn't happen to you in threads like this just signifies that you don't care, you basically downplay other people's bad experiences because well, it doesn't concern you. You may not be affected now but you never know when it will happen to you or to someone close to you, and you would be glad that such law exists protecting you.
- laughing_man 4mo ago
  > ... this being a law will benefit everyone. If it were national, sure. As is, companies will see Michigan as a bad place to hire people, which was probably not the goal.

by duxup 4mo ago

bluealienpie 4mo ago

This is the media equivalent of showing a family swimming on the lake when discussing heatwave death. You have valid life experience but it’s not relevant to the topic at hand.

duxup 4mo ago
It's relevant. We're people sharing and discussing, not a TV show. The idea that if we're discussing a problem that only people with that problem may share their experience is absurd at face value.
- DetroitThrow 4mo ago
  "10% of Americans are uninsured. A US state is pushing to insure all of their residents." "I'm insured!" "Open-source software projects are being spammed with LLM generated PRs. Contributions are becoming more restricted". "I have a repo that isn't being spammed!" Sometimes sharing a somewhat related experience is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand, and also completely uninteresting. It does not matter that somehow their "experience is valid".
  - duxup 4mo ago
    This is a forum where people share their opinions and experience, not a TV show or news story or narrative. If people's opinions or thoughts don't fit a narrative you want, a forum likely isn't the place to find it. Everyone gets to share, there's no rules here about not sharing / having a different experience than others.
    - DetroitThrow 4mo ago
      Everyone gets to share but it's also completely within the forum rules to call out irrelevant anecdotes as uninteresting to the discussion. I have no idea why you're making a comparison to a TV show; nothing that was described was anything akin to that. I just made examples out of insufferable and clueless forum comments, that very clearly detract from discussion more than they contribute to it. I don't think you should assume that describing meaningless and unrelated anecdotes as "uninteresting" is equivalent to users calling for a forum ban, which is seemingly what you're doing when you point to forum rules when encountering a critique.
    - grayhatter 4mo ago
      > Everyone gets to share, there's no rules here about not sharing / having a different experience than others. I disagree that this is a fair interpretation of the original objection. But assuming it is a possible interpretation, "that doesn't happen to me" isn't sharing an experience, it's sharing the lack of an experience. Sure, yes, everyone does get to share, on a public forum, expecting otherwise is dumb. On that, 100% with you! And yet, I feel like there's an important difference between sharing how your favorite color is blue, after someone said they like red the best, and sharing how you're not being mistreated, when someone is asking for help to stop someone from mistreating them. You see how one is everyone sharing together, and the other appears to minimize the mistreatment of someone else?
    - roughly 4mo ago
      You have the right to say or post whatever you want (within the rules of the forum). You will not get thrown out for doing so. You may have other people come along and tell you they didn’t get anything useful from your post, though, which is also their right.
- _DeadFred_ 4mo ago
  [flagged]

gofreddygo 4mo ago

Its valid but useless. Think someone says i'm thirsty all the time because there's little clean water available, what's available is expensive but it could be better if we did so-and-so. and someone replies I'm not thirsty.

roughly 4mo ago
It’s impossible for a lizard to convince a sheepdog to turn up the thermostat. It’s impossible for a sheepdog to convince a lizard to turn down the thermostat. Which one is right?
- atoav 4mo ago
  The two things you have commented on are not equivalent. One person offers insight and the other reacts. Such a reaction is inherently on a different plane than a original statement, because you chose to make it about yourself, in the presence of another persons slice of their reality. To give a crass example: A: I had a shitty day, they took my dog and killed it B: Well, *my* dog is still alive To which I would say: Congrats on telegraphing to the world you are a self-centered asshole that wouldn't recognize the concept of empathy if it jumped into their face.

atoav 4mo ago

Counterpoint: anecdotal evidence is sometimes actively harmful and you should consider not sharing it in certain situations. I know, some people have the reflexive urge to make every situation about themselves, but I think you should instead be aware that (1) your own experience is not necessarily representative of the broader reality and (2) even if it is may distract from the topic being discussed. Don't get me wrong, everybodies lived experience is in fact valid. And yet that doesn't mean it is appropriate to share it at all times. If your friend tells you their newborn died during childbirth telling them: "Well mine didn't" would be actively abusive behavior. If someone tells you an intimate story about how being poor affected them as a child, there are certain ways to share your experience of how your parents always bought you everything you wanted that productively add to the topic and others that distract from it. Always remember that everybody just sharing their experience is a different thing from you reacting on some others experience. What may be a fun anecdote for you, may be a life-defining experience for others. Aside from these examples anecdotal evidence can be destructive if it ignores that the plural of anecdotes is not data.

fossilwater 4mo ago

While abusive work environments may not be the norm for the majority of people, this being a law will benefit everyone. Saying this doesn't happen to you in threads like this just signifies that you don't care, you basically downplay other people's bad experiences because well, it doesn't concern you. You may not be affected now but you never know when it will happen to you or to someone close to you, and you would be glad that such law exists protecting you.

laughing_man 4mo ago
> ... this being a law will benefit everyone. If it were national, sure. As is, companies will see Michigan as a bad place to hire people, which was probably not the goal.