You don't deserve scorn for failing, it's ok. You might be suffering from some kind of anxiety, and you're being too hard on yourself for sure. One piece of a

You don't deserve scorn for failing, it's ok. You might be suffering from some kind of anxiety, and you're being too hard on yourself for sure. One piece of advice that might help you: when you're trying to measure your progress, instead of looking at the people who are ahead of you all the time, sometimes look at the people who are behind you. The people who you've exceeded, who you have done better than. It's an important part of motivation that's often overlooked. (This and a bunch of other really excellent advice I got from Seneca in Letters from a Stoic.) Also, don't give up. You've only truly failed when you quit learning or give up.