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Let's eliminate any social interactions to pursue maximum effectiveness, then we can finally focus on the things that matter - like programming! Beep, boop.

by fwr 14y ago

guylhem 14y ago
I think you're missing the article point. If some social interactions bring you nothing, then you should remove them from your life ! Quoting Nassim Taleb : "If someone is a drag on me, I cut them out. If someone lifts me up, I bring them closer. Nobody is sacred here. When the plane is going down, put the oxygen mask on your face first. Family, friends, people I love – I always try to be there for them and help. But I don’t get close to anyone bringing me down. This rule can’t be broken. Energy leaks out of you if someone is draining you. And I never owe anyone an explanation. Explaining is draining." http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/02/how-to-be-the-luckiest-guy-on-the-planet-in-4-easy-steps/ http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/02/how-to-be-the-luckiest-...
- pilgrim689 14y ago
  "If someone is a drag on me, I cut them out. If someone lifts me up, I bring them closer. " That is incredibly selfish. Sometimes the person doing the lifting is the one being "brought down", so you're essentially depending on the fact that people are less selfish than you for this to work. Like anything taken to the extreme, this extreme individualism can only be harmful.
  - bcoates 14y ago
    It doesn't depend on altruism, if everyone does it it just results in assortative mixing and you wind up hanging out with people who can stand you, if any. It also avoids the common human-behavior anti-pattern where two people remain in a mutually self destructive relationship because each is under the delusion that the other can't live without them.
  - ams6110 14y ago
    No, you are simply associating with people who compliment your own interests (and presumably vice-versa). Not everyone can be friends with everyone. Trying to make relationship "work" when the individuals are fundamentally incompatible is the source of much unhappiness.
    - pilgrim689 14y ago
      I think the problem is that we're all interpreting this differently... I'm not saying you should force relationships at all. I'm saying cutting someone off just because they're going through a rough patch is no way to treat a human. You can afford to slow down your life a bit to help out a loved one.
      - c0riander 14y ago
        I don't think the quote is advocating cutting out people who are going through a negative time, just those who are negative to YOU. There's a difference between supporting someone through their difficulty and someone who is not supporting you, whether that means (consciously or unconsciously) belittling, undermining, or dismissing you or your ideas, or just not meshing well or productively with you.
  - noonespecial 14y ago
    This assumes a zero sum "lifting up" equation. People can lift each other up and be mutually beneficial. This isn't exactly a new idea. http://bible.cc/proverbs/27-17.htm http://bible.cc/proverbs/27-17.htm
forgottenpaswrd 14y ago
I don't believe this is what Sivers is talking about. He is talking about the Noble price effect: What happens when people that earn a Nobel price that makes impossible for them to continue working in the field that made them to earn the price, they get invited to so many parties and given so many distinctions and honors and everybody wants to be with you, learn from you or be your friend. You can help a lot of people in an individual basis this way, locally whenever you go. Those Nobel prices could make millions of people to be interested in science. Most people can't understand how much of a problem this could be.
- sivers 14y ago
  Ha! Good call. Yes, you're right. I have a natural tendency to prefer to be remote, anyway. But yeah my current situation, amplified by being in a very central social city like Singapore, really amplified it. Thanks for bringing this up.

Let's eliminate any social interactions to pursue maximum effectiveness, then we can finally focus on the things that matter - like programming! Beep, boop.

by fwr 14y ago

Let's eliminate any social interactions to pursue maximum effectiveness, then we can finally focus on the things that matter - like programming! Beep, boop.

guylhem 14y ago

I think you're missing the article point. If some social interactions bring you nothing, then you should remove them from your life ! Quoting Nassim Taleb : "If someone is a drag on me, I cut them out. If someone lifts me up, I bring them closer. Nobody is sacred here. When the plane is going down, put the oxygen mask on your face first. Family, friends, people I love – I always try to be there for them and help. But I don’t get close to anyone bringing me down. This rule can’t be broken. Energy leaks out of you if someone is draining you. And I never owe anyone an explanation. Explaining is draining." http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/02/how-to-be-the-luckiest-guy-on-the-planet-in-4-easy-steps/ http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/02/how-to-be-the-luckiest-...

pilgrim689 14y ago
"If someone is a drag on me, I cut them out. If someone lifts me up, I bring them closer. " That is incredibly selfish. Sometimes the person doing the lifting is the one being "brought down", so you're essentially depending on the fact that people are less selfish than you for this to work. Like anything taken to the extreme, this extreme individualism can only be harmful.
- bcoates 14y ago
  It doesn't depend on altruism, if everyone does it it just results in assortative mixing and you wind up hanging out with people who can stand you, if any. It also avoids the common human-behavior anti-pattern where two people remain in a mutually self destructive relationship because each is under the delusion that the other can't live without them.
- ams6110 14y ago
  No, you are simply associating with people who compliment your own interests (and presumably vice-versa). Not everyone can be friends with everyone. Trying to make relationship "work" when the individuals are fundamentally incompatible is the source of much unhappiness.
  - pilgrim689 14y ago
    I think the problem is that we're all interpreting this differently... I'm not saying you should force relationships at all. I'm saying cutting someone off just because they're going through a rough patch is no way to treat a human. You can afford to slow down your life a bit to help out a loved one.
    - c0riander 14y ago
      I don't think the quote is advocating cutting out people who are going through a negative time, just those who are negative to YOU. There's a difference between supporting someone through their difficulty and someone who is not supporting you, whether that means (consciously or unconsciously) belittling, undermining, or dismissing you or your ideas, or just not meshing well or productively with you.
- noonespecial 14y ago
  This assumes a zero sum "lifting up" equation. People can lift each other up and be mutually beneficial. This isn't exactly a new idea. http://bible.cc/proverbs/27-17.htm http://bible.cc/proverbs/27-17.htm

forgottenpaswrd 14y ago

I don't believe this is what Sivers is talking about. He is talking about the Noble price effect: What happens when people that earn a Nobel price that makes impossible for them to continue working in the field that made them to earn the price, they get invited to so many parties and given so many distinctions and honors and everybody wants to be with you, learn from you or be your friend. You can help a lot of people in an individual basis this way, locally whenever you go. Those Nobel prices could make millions of people to be interested in science. Most people can't understand how much of a problem this could be.

sivers 14y ago
Ha! Good call. Yes, you're right. I have a natural tendency to prefer to be remote, anyway. But yeah my current situation, amplified by being in a very central social city like Singapore, really amplified it. Thanks for bringing this up.