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Life: forgiving my wife after she had an affair. It was hard, but a single mistake doesn't negate the fact that she is a great mom, we are good together and our
by scottmagdalein 14y ago
Life: forgiving my wife after she had an affair. It was hard, but a single mistake doesn't negate the fact that she is a great mom, we are good together and our son deserves a shot at having his dad in the house.
Programming: learning by doing instead of by reading. I started learning Rails when I wanted to build PicDigest and the mistakes I've made have helped me learn faster on a broader foundation.
- dissapointed 14y agoYou are a weak man!
- msutherl 14y agoNo, he is a strong man.
- franze 14y agohe is, who he chooses to be, instead of a sterotype
- deleted 14y ago[deleted]
- sks 14y agoAre you serious? I think he is a very strong man. He rose above petty concerns, like how his masculinity will be judged in a public forum, to forgive his wife and then share the fact.
- lifehouse67 14y agoNice to hear you forgave your wife afyer an affair, i can't imagine how you felt
- besharp 14y agoA really hard decision, I think he is a man with brave heart.
- moutard 14y agoI hope you're posting under a pseudonym. Revealing that one's wife had an affair is no small potatoes.
- scottmagdalein 14y agoNope. I'm Scott. It's public knowledge. We were separated for eight months as a result of the affair. Everyone who knows us knows the reason for the separation.
- jacquesm 14y agoIf you've really forgiven her then maybe you shouldn't be telling the rest of the world too.
- scottmagdalein 14y agoAbsolutely forgiven her. It's something we talk about. We help other couples dealing with the same type of hardship. Keeping it to ourselves doesn't prove forgiveness and it keeps us from helping others.
- moutard 14y agoHumans are capable of incredible self-deception a la Robert Trivers: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/25/books/review/the-folly-of-fools-by-robert-trivers-book-review.html?pagewanted=all http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/25/books/review/the-folly-of-... You're most likely fighting your genes (or perhaps you're a mutant): maybe you'll win and maybe you won't. Here the _you_ I refer to here is that part which believes it has free will and can override the other (genetic) part.
- scottmagdalein 14y agoI don't understand what you're saying.
- ams6110 14y agoI think if the couple can come to terms between themselves, then forgiving one affair could be a good thing. But only one.
- huhtenberg 14y agoThis would've been a great comment if it hadn't have your real name attached to it.
- scottmagdalein 14y agoWhy? What if someone is going through it and wants to talk about it with someone else who's experienced it? I'd LOVE to help them. My wife would LOVE to help them. We can't do that very well if we keep it a secret or speak about it anonymously.
- huhtenberg 14y agoBecause I would feel odd knowing what you just disclosed if I were to ever cross paths with your wife. Your wife might be OK with it, but that's not an issue. How other people feel about it is. To put it bluntly - nudism belongs to a nudist beach.
- pknerd 14y agoI agree with the point.
- phil 14y agoWhat are the odds you'll cross paths with the wife of a random person from the internet? Your comments (and the others saying this should have been anonymous) are really saying that you think scottmagdalein should feel ashamed about this part of his life -- in his replies he's telling you that he doesn't. It's worth reflecting on why you feel that way.
- huhtenberg 14y agoNo, I am not saying or implying this. Who am I to say what he should be ashamed of? What I am saying that this is a matter that perceived as private and sensitive by many, and that I would personally prefer for it to stay that way.
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- namank 14y agoThis is great, thanks for sharing.
- atarian 14y agoThank you for post, I think you are incredibly brave to disclose such information with your name behind it. I'm always paranoid of a similar thing happening to me. What do you think could have prevented this from happening?
- loungin 14y agoI am a little dissapointed you are catching some flak. It is your life, do what you think is right. Kudos to you for your decision. A book was written about marriage, long term monogamy, and (at least for me) showed that maybe sex shouldn't be this huge deal we currently make it out to be. It's called Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.
- scottmagdalein 14y agoThanks.