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I'm sure that's true but not everyone is cut out to be a "business-person". I certainly am not. Same with boss, I'm not a team player at all. I don't mind smal

I'm sure that's true but not everyone is cut out to be a "business-person". I certainly am not. Same with boss, I'm not a team player at all. I don't mind small talk sometimes but there has to be some kind of common ground. For example with conservative family-first suit types I have nothing to talk about and it feels awkward to make conversation, but with the leather/mesh/blue hair alt/goth types I can talk for hors.

psp99 4mo ago
Assuming you have nothing in common with someone because of how they dress is just prejudice with better aesthetics :/ The suit guy probably has more interesting stories than you'd expect if you gave him thirty seconds.
- wolvoleo 4mo ago
  If someone wears a suit they have a reason for it, it's not something people do because they like the feel of it. Because they're really restrictive, expensive and feel horrible. They do it to impress others or to fit in in business. Or when they're trying to sell something. I'm more comfortable among other outliers.
  - goodmythical 4mo ago
    You think the green haired folks are doing it because bleaching and dyeing their hair is just super duper fun? They're doing it for the same reasons: attention, approval, to fit in with their peers, trying to sell their identity to their peers.
    - wolvoleo 4mo ago
      Well yes I think so. It is fun and cool. I love my crazy outfits too. It's not really about the peers though it's nice getting compliments at parties. It's more about feeling good about myself and feeling like it matches who I am. Also they feel really good due to the materials being very smooth. Latex in particular is really like a second skin. I would never feel good in a business suit because it's not who I am. Even if the fabric wouldn't feel horrible I would still be miserable. They're all the same too, like a uniform.
      - goodmythical 4mo ago
        And you can't see, at all, that the folks who choose to wear business suits feel precisely the same way? That they like getting compliments from the people they interact with? That it makes them feel good about themselves and feel like it matches who they are? That the suit feels good too them due to the materials being quality and expensive? That they would never feel good in leather because it's not who they are? That even if the leather wasn't sweaty and sticky, they'd still feel horrible? Both of y'all are doing the same shit. You're wearing what you want to wear because it feels good to you and it feels good to you because you get compliments on it and getting compliments on it means that you've been accepted by the group you wish to be accepted by. The suit and the leather gimp suit are the same thing. The vest and the kapris are the same thing. The turtle neck and the neck tie are the same thing. They are all status symbols. They all say "I want to talk to people dressed like this" and probably "I don't want to talk to anyone who dresses like that"
        wolvoleo 4mo ago
        It's not all about compliments. Those are not that important. But if a business suit matches who they are then I'm not really interested in them. Which is what I said in the first place. I really hate business and the kind of people that spew PR bullshit on LinkedIn for example.
  - derektank 4mo ago
    If your suits feel bad you’re probably not wearing the right suits. They are expensive though, that’s definitely true, so it does reveal some of their preferences.
    - tennfown 4mo ago
      How much money do I need to get a suit that’s not miserable in 90f+ humid heat where even stepping outside in shorts and a t-shirt has you sweating after a few minutes?
      - groceries8192 4mo ago
        I don't think it's necessarily the suit in that case. As a Florida resident, however, I like my Tommy Bahama suit's breathability but it might not be formal enough for every occasion. There's also some "super breathable" suit that I see being advertised a lot, but I haven't tried one of those.
      - skydhash 4mo ago
        There's a reason suits were not invented in such weather
    - wolvoleo 4mo ago
      Good point, but I'm very sensitive to clothing. I just can't wear them anymore, and I don't have one that fits. The only one I had was just bought in a store. But it was awful. But really a job where I'd have to wear one means a job working with business people and I would be very bad at that anyway. For weddings I just don't go if it's too formal, though most of my friends are very polyamorous. If they even marry it's not a huge deal.
dbvn 4mo ago
> I'm not a team player at all could ya try?
- wolvoleo 4mo ago
  No. I don't want to change who I am.
goodmythical 4mo ago
>For example with conservative family-first suit types "hey man, how're the kids?" "Is your wife recovering from [illness] you mentioned last week?" "man, have heard the music on the radio lately?" "what kind of music do you like?" "can I ask you a personal question, what was the hardest part of getting the success you have?" "did you know you wanted to be a boss/manager when you were a kid? No? Oh, you wanted to be an astronaut? Oh man, no way, have you seen the crazy stuff spacex is doing with re-useable rockets? We're getting so close to (relevant sci-fi from when he was a kid)" You've just got to have an open mind, which you'd think you'd have given your conversational partner preferences.
- XorNot 4mo ago
  "SpaceX is a fraud. Its all about control. That's why in the future you'll be eating bugs because it's Greta Thunberg". I am only partly paraphrasing actual conversation with my father in-law. I cannot stress enough that what you think will work here doesn't: literally every topic will be pivoted towards a rant about which groups are destroying the future (all of them), or how it's all a conspiracy or how they are plotting against you. You've invented a conversation you think works. I have lived a damn decade of the list of "safe" topics endlessly shrinking, and the punchline is same: 30 damn minutes of alternately being told some half remembered conspiracy theory from Facebook or asking for agreement that group are bad. That scifi concept from when they were kid? Well they are lying about that for money of course. It is exhausting to deal with over and over again.
  - SoftTalker 4mo ago
    It's equally tiring hearing about how every problem in society is a result of capitalism and how conservatives are all facists and are scheming for a way to bring back concentration camps and want to deport everyone who doesn't have three generations of native-born ancestors. There are fringe kooks at all edges of the spectrum and they are all tiring and boring. But most guys on the train wearing a suit are just normal people who have to dress like that because their work requires it.
    - deleted 4mo ago

psp99 4mo ago

Assuming you have nothing in common with someone because of how they dress is just prejudice with better aesthetics :/ The suit guy probably has more interesting stories than you'd expect if you gave him thirty seconds.

wolvoleo 4mo ago
If someone wears a suit they have a reason for it, it's not something people do because they like the feel of it. Because they're really restrictive, expensive and feel horrible. They do it to impress others or to fit in in business. Or when they're trying to sell something. I'm more comfortable among other outliers.
- goodmythical 4mo ago
  You think the green haired folks are doing it because bleaching and dyeing their hair is just super duper fun? They're doing it for the same reasons: attention, approval, to fit in with their peers, trying to sell their identity to their peers.
  - wolvoleo 4mo ago
    Well yes I think so. It is fun and cool. I love my crazy outfits too. It's not really about the peers though it's nice getting compliments at parties. It's more about feeling good about myself and feeling like it matches who I am. Also they feel really good due to the materials being very smooth. Latex in particular is really like a second skin. I would never feel good in a business suit because it's not who I am. Even if the fabric wouldn't feel horrible I would still be miserable. They're all the same too, like a uniform.
    - goodmythical 4mo ago
      And you can't see, at all, that the folks who choose to wear business suits feel precisely the same way? That they like getting compliments from the people they interact with? That it makes them feel good about themselves and feel like it matches who they are? That the suit feels good too them due to the materials being quality and expensive? That they would never feel good in leather because it's not who they are? That even if the leather wasn't sweaty and sticky, they'd still feel horrible? Both of y'all are doing the same shit. You're wearing what you want to wear because it feels good to you and it feels good to you because you get compliments on it and getting compliments on it means that you've been accepted by the group you wish to be accepted by. The suit and the leather gimp suit are the same thing. The vest and the kapris are the same thing. The turtle neck and the neck tie are the same thing. They are all status symbols. They all say "I want to talk to people dressed like this" and probably "I don't want to talk to anyone who dresses like that"
      - wolvoleo 4mo ago
        It's not all about compliments. Those are not that important. But if a business suit matches who they are then I'm not really interested in them. Which is what I said in the first place. I really hate business and the kind of people that spew PR bullshit on LinkedIn for example.
- derektank 4mo ago
  If your suits feel bad you’re probably not wearing the right suits. They are expensive though, that’s definitely true, so it does reveal some of their preferences.
  - tennfown 4mo ago
    How much money do I need to get a suit that’s not miserable in 90f+ humid heat where even stepping outside in shorts and a t-shirt has you sweating after a few minutes?
    - groceries8192 4mo ago
      I don't think it's necessarily the suit in that case. As a Florida resident, however, I like my Tommy Bahama suit's breathability but it might not be formal enough for every occasion. There's also some "super breathable" suit that I see being advertised a lot, but I haven't tried one of those.
    - skydhash 4mo ago
      There's a reason suits were not invented in such weather
  - wolvoleo 4mo ago
    Good point, but I'm very sensitive to clothing. I just can't wear them anymore, and I don't have one that fits. The only one I had was just bought in a store. But it was awful. But really a job where I'd have to wear one means a job working with business people and I would be very bad at that anyway. For weddings I just don't go if it's too formal, though most of my friends are very polyamorous. If they even marry it's not a huge deal.

dbvn 4mo ago

> I'm not a team player at all could ya try?

wolvoleo 4mo ago
No. I don't want to change who I am.

goodmythical 4mo ago

>For example with conservative family-first suit types "hey man, how're the kids?" "Is your wife recovering from [illness] you mentioned last week?" "man, have heard the music on the radio lately?" "what kind of music do you like?" "can I ask you a personal question, what was the hardest part of getting the success you have?" "did you know you wanted to be a boss/manager when you were a kid? No? Oh, you wanted to be an astronaut? Oh man, no way, have you seen the crazy stuff spacex is doing with re-useable rockets? We're getting so close to (relevant sci-fi from when he was a kid)" You've just got to have an open mind, which you'd think you'd have given your conversational partner preferences.

XorNot 4mo ago
"SpaceX is a fraud. Its all about control. That's why in the future you'll be eating bugs because it's Greta Thunberg". I am only partly paraphrasing actual conversation with my father in-law. I cannot stress enough that what you think will work here doesn't: literally every topic will be pivoted towards a rant about which groups are destroying the future (all of them), or how it's all a conspiracy or how they are plotting against you. You've invented a conversation you think works. I have lived a damn decade of the list of "safe" topics endlessly shrinking, and the punchline is same: 30 damn minutes of alternately being told some half remembered conspiracy theory from Facebook or asking for agreement that group are bad. That scifi concept from when they were kid? Well they are lying about that for money of course. It is exhausting to deal with over and over again.
- SoftTalker 4mo ago
  It's equally tiring hearing about how every problem in society is a result of capitalism and how conservatives are all facists and are scheming for a way to bring back concentration camps and want to deport everyone who doesn't have three generations of native-born ancestors. There are fringe kooks at all edges of the spectrum and they are all tiring and boring. But most guys on the train wearing a suit are just normal people who have to dress like that because their work requires it.
  - deleted 4mo ago