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Have you tried simply telling people you don't want to talk? "Sorry mate, I'm reading" is hardly difficult.
by GJim 4mo ago
Have you tried simply telling people you don't want to talk?
"Sorry mate, I'm reading" is hardly difficult.
- steve1977 4mo agoWhy would you initiate talk with me in the first place, when we're in a situation where I have not explicitly chosen contact with you? (say on a train) Also reading something would be a clear signal (also to me) that a person doesn't want to get disturbed. When I have to tell you that I don't want to talk, you have already disturbed me. So, taking the cues here clearly is on you, not on me, at least in my opinion. Edit: To clarify a bit, I'm talking about places with involuntary social contact, like for example a train or a grocery store. I go on a train because I have to get somewhere, not because I want to interact with people. It would be a different scenario say in a bar.
- poncho_romero 4mo agoIf you are in a public space, I think it's totally fair game to initiate talk. It's also totally fair game to signal that you aren't interested.
- wolvoleo 4mo agoIf you're reading it's kinda obvious, and it's pretty annoying to be interrupted.
- norome 4mo agoactually i can say that most people with a book and no headphones are the most ready to have a chat about what they're reading and beyond.
- techdmn 4mo agoThis is actually very difficult for a significant number of people. Some people really struggle with saying "no" or enforcing boundaries, some people are very wary of negative interactions with strangers. If you are relying on people to explicitly push back on you, rather than reading more subtle queues, you are quite likely adding stress to someone's day.
- poncho_romero 4mo agoI think most will pick up on subtle cues. That said, there is nothing wrong with being direct. And for those people who struggle with saying no, well, practice makes perfect.
- norome 4mo agoI choose to embody the society i would rather live in, instead of following along with the friendlessness and disconnection that results from our deteriorated social sphere. Most people are delighted to have a little contact.
- dpkirchner 4mo agoA dozen times a day, every day? No thanks.