I don't think you've read my comment as deeply as I hoped, so... > But somehow we grow up with the illusion that things matter, and I want that back! If you'r

I don't think you've read my comment as deeply as I hoped, so... > But somehow we grow up with the illusion that things matter, and I want that back! If you're going through hell, keep going. The way out is forward, not back. There is nothing anyone can say that is going to make your moment of disillusionment easier for you.