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I lead teams of Data Engineers, Data Scientists, and Platform Engineers. My direct reports drive their 1:1s; from the need to have them in the first place to th

I lead teams of Data Engineers, Data Scientists, and Platform Engineers. My direct reports drive their 1:1s; from the need to have them in the first place to the agenda when we do. We have standups for our team as well as the larger team and we are in constant contact with one another throughout each day via IM. Why would we need to repeat the same shit in a 1:1? I consider their 1:1s THEIR meeting. If they want it, I'm there; if they don't and want to work, great. As such, we almost never have 1:1s and my team continually leads the organization w/the highest overall as well as manager satisfaction. It's been this way at each and every company I've worked for and is likely why all but one inherited direct report has worked with me at multiple companies before.

Esophagus4 4mo ago
> if they don't and want to work, great. Interesting thought, I had never considered cancelling if they don’t have anything. Thanks for that. My thought was always, “I want to give everyone that time no matter what, and if they don’t have anything, then I go to a list of questions I have for every 1-1 if we have time. Stuff like, “how are you feeling with ${latest_company_happenings}?” or “how do you think the team is doing?” or “are you interested in the work these days, or burnt out?” or ask them about some problem I’m trying to solve for the team and how they’d approach it. Ala: https://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-the-disaster/ https://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-t...
- garciasn 4mo ago
  Empowerment of your team is the single most impactful thing you can do for them. This is one small way of making them feel that they truly have autonomy.
- ponector 4mo ago
  >“how are you feeling with ${latest_company_happenings}?” or “how do you think the team is doing?” or “are you interested in the work these days, or burnt out?” That is the worst questions to ask to the experienced people. You cannot share your negative feelings, so the answer should be socially acceptable bullshit. Are you burnt out? Yes? Sorry to hear that! I'll put a high attrition risk to your name in the system. Like asking during the job interview the question: Why do you want to work here? I need money and you have an open position! But you cannot answer that to pass the gatekeeper.
  - Esophagus4 4mo ago
    > That is the worst questions to ask to the experienced people. God what a know-it-all. This is just a vent without substance by someone that I can safely assume hates his job and his manager.
  - episteme 4mo ago
    This very much depends on the place and the level of maturity in how you share the negativity. Good managers will try to understand and help you, that's a large part of their job. Also, if you are a high performer then being an attrition risk isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's in the companies best interest to try keep people who are important.
Aurornis 4mo ago
This is such good common sense that it’s foreign to so many people. The 1:1 is great when needed. It’s a waste of time if everyone is already communicating everything. The most efficient teams communicate effectively without having to force it into recurring, pre-determined time slots. Topics like performance reviews and career progression are better discussed in quarterly meetings dedicated to that topic, not a weekly time slot with a fluid agenda.
schmookeeg 4mo ago
I would love practical advice on how to say to a manager "I'm not deriving any value from this recurring 1x1 meeting, can we move it to on-demand?" My 30+ year career has not revealed a way to achieve that yet without repurcussions. However much I'd prefer it.
- garciasn 4mo ago
  I realize I’m different than many leaders out there; I came up through the ranks and do everything the way I wished it had been rather than the way it was. As such, I’m entirely open to any and all feedback from my team. I certainly wouldn’t be offended if you just asked; I’d do my best to accommodate it. What’s the worst that can happen? They say no?
  - mewpmewp2 4mo ago
    Worst that happens is they get silently offended, while being political to you at the same time and secretly undermine your performance reviews during calibration meetings without you even knowing or just not standing up for you that much during this time will be enough due to stack ranking etc.
    - jamesfinlayson 4mo ago
      This - I've had a manager who was pretty ineffective, and if he wasn't doing 1:1s he'd feel like he was failing at managing. Easier to just talk in circles with him.
- win311fwg 4mo ago
  The meeting isn't for you. If it were, you'd have been the one scheduling it. First place to start is to determine what value the other party is deriving from the meeting. Zero in on exactly why they want to have the meeting. From there, you can put your problem solving skills in action to determine if there is a better way to deliver equivalent value. However, keep in mind that it is likely that the value you are delivering is your company during that time. A lot of hiring happens because the people involved want to have 'friends' around them.

Esophagus4 4mo ago

> if they don't and want to work, great. Interesting thought, I had never considered cancelling if they don’t have anything. Thanks for that. My thought was always, “I want to give everyone that time no matter what, and if they don’t have anything, then I go to a list of questions I have for every 1-1 if we have time. Stuff like, “how are you feeling with ${latest_company_happenings}?” or “how do you think the team is doing?” or “are you interested in the work these days, or burnt out?” or ask them about some problem I’m trying to solve for the team and how they’d approach it. Ala: https://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-the-disaster/ https://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-t...

garciasn 4mo ago
Empowerment of your team is the single most impactful thing you can do for them. This is one small way of making them feel that they truly have autonomy.
ponector 4mo ago
>“how are you feeling with ${latest_company_happenings}?” or “how do you think the team is doing?” or “are you interested in the work these days, or burnt out?” That is the worst questions to ask to the experienced people. You cannot share your negative feelings, so the answer should be socially acceptable bullshit. Are you burnt out? Yes? Sorry to hear that! I'll put a high attrition risk to your name in the system. Like asking during the job interview the question: Why do you want to work here? I need money and you have an open position! But you cannot answer that to pass the gatekeeper.
- Esophagus4 4mo ago
  > That is the worst questions to ask to the experienced people. God what a know-it-all. This is just a vent without substance by someone that I can safely assume hates his job and his manager.
- episteme 4mo ago
  This very much depends on the place and the level of maturity in how you share the negativity. Good managers will try to understand and help you, that's a large part of their job. Also, if you are a high performer then being an attrition risk isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's in the companies best interest to try keep people who are important.

Aurornis 4mo ago

This is such good common sense that it’s foreign to so many people. The 1:1 is great when needed. It’s a waste of time if everyone is already communicating everything. The most efficient teams communicate effectively without having to force it into recurring, pre-determined time slots. Topics like performance reviews and career progression are better discussed in quarterly meetings dedicated to that topic, not a weekly time slot with a fluid agenda.

schmookeeg 4mo ago

I would love practical advice on how to say to a manager "I'm not deriving any value from this recurring 1x1 meeting, can we move it to on-demand?" My 30+ year career has not revealed a way to achieve that yet without repurcussions. However much I'd prefer it.

garciasn 4mo ago
I realize I’m different than many leaders out there; I came up through the ranks and do everything the way I wished it had been rather than the way it was. As such, I’m entirely open to any and all feedback from my team. I certainly wouldn’t be offended if you just asked; I’d do my best to accommodate it. What’s the worst that can happen? They say no?
- mewpmewp2 4mo ago
  Worst that happens is they get silently offended, while being political to you at the same time and secretly undermine your performance reviews during calibration meetings without you even knowing or just not standing up for you that much during this time will be enough due to stack ranking etc.
  - jamesfinlayson 4mo ago
    This - I've had a manager who was pretty ineffective, and if he wasn't doing 1:1s he'd feel like he was failing at managing. Easier to just talk in circles with him.
win311fwg 4mo ago
The meeting isn't for you. If it were, you'd have been the one scheduling it. First place to start is to determine what value the other party is deriving from the meeting. Zero in on exactly why they want to have the meeting. From there, you can put your problem solving skills in action to determine if there is a better way to deliver equivalent value. However, keep in mind that it is likely that the value you are delivering is your company during that time. A lot of hiring happens because the people involved want to have 'friends' around them.