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My first son will be born in 2 months and I must say, between stories like this and others that I learned in antenatal classes - I have never been more terrifie
by myzek 4mo ago
My first son will be born in 2 months and I must say, between stories like this and others that I learned in antenatal classes - I have never been more terrified in my life
- caporaltito 4mo agoYou'll be okay, mate
- afc 4mo agoGood luck! In case you find it useful, I wrote what I learned in my first year of fatherhood (the little guy is now 17 months): https://alejo.ch/3hj https://alejo.ch/3hj As you can see, I never found anything as scary as the possibility, however remote, of my baby being unhealthy. So, yeah, best of luck!
- darkwater 4mo agoYou start worrying when they are in the womb... and never really stop worrying til you die.
- w0m 4mo agoI had no idea I would turn into a helicopter. it's kind of crazy how it rewires you.
- darkwater 4mo agoBeing an helicopter has a specific (and negative) meaning; caring and worrying for your kids seems just how many humans are wired.
- MattGrommes 4mo agoThe real difficulty is deciding what caring means. Some people decide caring means getting onto your adult child's job interview call because you think they need help. For others, caring means giving them a safety net but letting them learn and possibly fail on their own.
- darkwater 4mo agoI might be opinionated but the former clearly feels/is a problematic and unhealthy behavior. The latter is much more reasonable.
- w0m 4mo agoI ~never liked kids. I debated having them, then kind of settled on it (was planned). I expected to be be present but... aloof? Like my dad was. Instead, I have buddies. I wouldn't call it unhealthy, just much more invested than I expected to be.
- Tade0 4mo agoIt's going to be okay. I mean, make no mistake, it is terrifying, but you'll make it through eventually and it will be okay. Also not sure if this was covered in class, but in case it wasn't: You need to rotate the baby. The baby needs rotation so that the head doesn't grow misshapen. Rotate the baby.
- neves 4mo agoWait till he becomes a teenager to see what's really terrifying Just a joke. It will be marvelous. Savoir the first years. It's a lot of work, bad sleeping nights, but you'll have fond memories for life.
- skt5 4mo agoI'm in a similar boat too! I found verbalizing it with anyone who will listen helps the anxiety.
- addandsubtract 4mo agoBayesian statistics to the rescue! You hear about the things that (can) go wrong a lot more, than the babies that are born without an issue. Basically, the opposite of survivorship bias? Anywho, millions of babies are born each day. Only 3-4% are born with a major birth defect or severe health issue (in the US) [0]. Now, a pregnant woman will undergo a routine screening, such as non-invasive prenatal test (NIPT) or a detailed anatomy ultrasound. With a positive test result, the probability of the baby being born healthy goes up to 99%+. Even with a negative test, the probability of the baby being healthy only drops to 80-50%, and then further testing will dial those probabilities in even more. All this to say, all will be good – don't let the rare anecdotes get to you. [0] https://www.cdc.gov/birth-defects/data-research/facts-stats/index.html https://www.cdc.gov/birth-defects/data-research/facts-stats/...
- grvdrm 4mo agoDad of 2 girls. 8 and 4. Not saying that life couldn’t have been equally great without them, but they are amazing. Rewired me in best way possible: to appreciate non-work life as much as anything else (perhaps more). None of us really know what to do!
- brayhite 4mo agoBecoming another individual’s whole world changes your own, for better or worse. I was a “such is life” type of person when experiencing tragedy, and fairly ho-hum during joyous moments. With kids, something changed, or “rewired”. I tear up at Bluey episodes and lose sleep due to irrational fears of an early death and not witnessing moments in my kids’ lives. Having and raising kids is a trip.
- grvdrm 4mo agoRight there with you on unexpected tear-stream moments, fears, but also all those happy moments you can't anticipate. In past year I've watched my older (8) start competing on a cheerleading team. Immense tear-streaming joy watching her light up in front of a crowd and build confidence. I was immediately overcome the first time and always feel a strong swell of emotion.
- w0m 4mo agomy youngest is 8, and it still physically hurt to read the intro.