4 ms·

Let me preface this by saying, I know this might be a privileged take. However, I've had some bad interview experiences but one thing I have never had happen an

by kxrm 4mo ago

Let me preface this by saying, I know this might be a privileged take. However, I've had some bad interview experiences but one thing I have never had happen and I never will do is cross the "just business"/"personal" line with anyone I may or am working with. > hardest day of my life, my biggest life challenges, and other similar “trauma-baiting” questions. I would take these types of questions as "from a professional standpoint". If the interviewer corrected and wanted personal answers, the interview would be over.

WatchDog 4mo ago
> ...I never will do is cross the "just business"/"personal" line with anyone I may or am working with. Just in an interview situation, or you will just never be open to a personal friendship with anyone you ever work with?
- kxrm 4mo ago
  > you will just never be open to a personal friendship with anyone you ever work with? Building relationships with colleagues is possible but I have tried to be careful. I have made some friends over time that were once co-workers. However, they were only able to move to full friend once they moved on to other teams or companies. I don't see someone I work with day-to-day as a personal friend. I compartmentalize them, keep the relationship professional and cordial. Moving someone to a personal friend has risks, especially if there is a chance you may work for or with them again. Some personal friendships may be able to outlast work drama, but so far I haven't had that happen for me. I've lost a few along the way due to negative conditions at work. Have you had a personal friend that stayed around after leaving a bad situation at work? Any pointers?
  - genewitch 4mo ago
    My best friend is someone i worked with, and we hit it off immediately. He also was one of the people who interviewed me before hire, too. I left the company because of medication induced issues with co-workers (long boring story... careful with SSRIs kids!) and we still ... actually he just called so i gotta cut this short we talk 5 hours a week on the phone plus we run a PBX and chat server and stuff so we're constantly in contact.
simgt 4mo ago
Thanks for that sensible answer, had to scroll down quite a while to find you there. The real problem is that for many people it takes a while to realize you're being abused, in that case it was only a while after. I highly recommend learning the basics of persuasion and how to manipulate people. It helps identifying the signs early.

by kxrm 4mo ago

WatchDog 4mo ago

> ...I never will do is cross the "just business"/"personal" line with anyone I may or am working with. Just in an interview situation, or you will just never be open to a personal friendship with anyone you ever work with?

kxrm 4mo ago
> you will just never be open to a personal friendship with anyone you ever work with? Building relationships with colleagues is possible but I have tried to be careful. I have made some friends over time that were once co-workers. However, they were only able to move to full friend once they moved on to other teams or companies. I don't see someone I work with day-to-day as a personal friend. I compartmentalize them, keep the relationship professional and cordial. Moving someone to a personal friend has risks, especially if there is a chance you may work for or with them again. Some personal friendships may be able to outlast work drama, but so far I haven't had that happen for me. I've lost a few along the way due to negative conditions at work. Have you had a personal friend that stayed around after leaving a bad situation at work? Any pointers?
- genewitch 4mo ago
  My best friend is someone i worked with, and we hit it off immediately. He also was one of the people who interviewed me before hire, too. I left the company because of medication induced issues with co-workers (long boring story... careful with SSRIs kids!) and we still ... actually he just called so i gotta cut this short we talk 5 hours a week on the phone plus we run a PBX and chat server and stuff so we're constantly in contact.

simgt 4mo ago

Thanks for that sensible answer, had to scroll down quite a while to find you there. The real problem is that for many people it takes a while to realize you're being abused, in that case it was only a while after. I highly recommend learning the basics of persuasion and how to manipulate people. It helps identifying the signs early.