5 ms·

As a dad of two younger kids (7 and 10), I have been incredibly frustrated with the way age restrictions are handled across various services. Really, my main c

As a dad of two younger kids (7 and 10), I have been incredibly frustrated with the way age restrictions are handled across various services. Really, my main complaint comes down to: I completely disagree with what these services choose to restrict for kids and what they allow. They block my kids from doing things I have no problem with them doing and they allow things I would never want my kids to do in 1000 years. It is incredibly frustrating. Often times, there is literally no way for me to bypass some stupid restriction they put on my kids, so the only way I can get it to work is to help my kids lie about their age… and at that point, I lose the ability to actually block things I care about. These laws are just going to make it worse. I don’t want someone else choosing how I control what my kids do. Give me tools to control it myself, and you can choose some presets for parents to use, but don’t force me to use your definition of age appropriate.

alpinisme 5mo ago
What tools would you want?
- themafia 5mo ago
  The internet is too dynamic to build a working filter around. Perhaps just tools which help parents quickly and efficiently monitor their child's device usage would be best. Do you want to alter behaviors or lock children in a gilded cage?
- cortesoft 5mo ago
  Honestly, I don’t have a perfect answer. It really depends on what the service is. My main thing is I want to be able to opt in or out of various filters. I don’t mind if my kids want to listen to music that has swear words, but I don’t want them watching videos where they give horribly sexist pickup artist advice. This isn’t just about what I feel is age appropriate, either. It is also about what I know about my kids. My 10 year old hates scary things, and she gets completely freaked out when they show scary movie previews. I would like to be able to block those for her. On the other hand, my 7 year old is obsessed with scary things and I don’t mind if he plays zombie video games.
  - blymphony 5mo ago
    I'm as a big of a horror movie fan as you can find, and I'm completely dumbfounded by the jump scares marketing is allowed to show in trailers nowadays. IMO (coming from someone who is basically unaffected by jump scares), they've gotten more shocking in the past couple years.
  - JoshTriplett 5mo ago
    > My 10 year old hates scary things, and she gets completely freaked out when they show scary movie previews. I would like to be able to block those for her. The difference between this and the usual "parental control" mechanisms is that what you're describing here is something the child wants to cooperate with, voluntarily. In which case, you don't need a mechanism that makes it absolutely impossible; you need a mechanism for helping them not see things they don't want to see. That's something some adults also want (e.g. tools for preventing oneself going to Facebook, or going to TVTropes for too long).
    - cortesoft 5mo ago
      Honestly, this is how I feel about all content for my kids. I am not trying to stop them from seeing something they really want to see. I am trying to stop them from seeing stuff they don’t want to see. Now, sometimes my kids might not know they don’t want to see something, which is where my judgment comes in… but I don’t (or at least have not yet, anyway) feel the need to block my kids from watching things they want. Now, I have spoken to my kids about some things they watch that I have issues with. I tell them why I think the content is problematic and why I would prefer they don’t watch it. But it is always a conversation rather than me just telling them they aren’t allowed. I have been happy with how my kids have handled these conversations, and haven’t yet found the need to enforce specific rules yet. Even when they watch some things I don’t like, I have found it has made for really effective conversations about my values and what I hope their values are. Some of those topics are too abstract to have without having something tangible (like a YouTube video or channel) to center the conversation around.
  - brandonmenc 5mo ago
    This level of filtering is so granular and bespoke that I'm not surprised no one offers it.
- modeless 5mo ago
  A pure whitelist mode, especially for video apps. Netflix, Disney, etc don't provide this because they want to push their new shows on your kids. YouTube does provide a whitelist mode, which I appreciate. But it's hard to find, poorly implemented, and blocks a lot of great content from being whitelisted. It's very frustrating to come across a great educational YouTube video and have big nanny Google block you from sharing it with your kids.
  - cs02rm0 5mo ago
    And I only want one. I don't want to set it for every single app, with different nuances.
big85 5mo ago
> I don’t want someone else choosing how I control what my kids do. Give me tools to control it myself I agree. Parental controls have been the norm for thirty years. The adult who owns the device should have control over it, not Microsoft or California.
- sounds 5mo ago
  Please keep in mind this sudden burst of legislation is because Facebook recently faced a combined $1.1 billion fine for intentionally harming children. The judgment took years. New Mexico Child Safety Case ($375 Million) was an actual judgment. US class-action privacy lawsuit was a $725 million settlement, with no judgment. These laws were proposed as soon as it was clear Facebook would not win. They move the liability to the Operating System, exempting Facebook.
KolmogorovComp 5mo ago
maybe at 7 and 10 they shouldn't use device connected to the internet without your active supervision at all? What will they miss?
- BeetleB 5mo ago
  Maybe it's the parent's decision on whether they should or shouldn't?
  - KolmogorovComp 5mo ago
    There’s increasing consensus among doctors that at that age any non-physically supervised usage is detrimental to their health. Would you say the same of eg: parents giving alcohol or smoking to their teenagers?
- cortesoft 5mo ago
  All the best stuff is online, though. My kids have found some of their favorite hobbies and interests from online videos they found. They enjoy using the internet for all the same reasons the rest of us do. I love computers and technology and the internet, and my kids and I play games together and build computers and explore technology. I have taught them a lot about internet safety (both personal and technological), and I am very impressed with their skills and abilities. I would never tell another parent they were wrong for choosing not to allow their kids to use the internet or consume certain types of media. Those are very personal choices. My wife and I have deliberately have chosen what to allow our kids to do, and continually have talks with each other and with the kids about our internet usage. I don’t feel the need or desire to seek advice or approval from random internet commenters.

alpinisme 5mo ago

What tools would you want?

themafia 5mo ago
The internet is too dynamic to build a working filter around. Perhaps just tools which help parents quickly and efficiently monitor their child's device usage would be best. Do you want to alter behaviors or lock children in a gilded cage?
cortesoft 5mo ago
Honestly, I don’t have a perfect answer. It really depends on what the service is. My main thing is I want to be able to opt in or out of various filters. I don’t mind if my kids want to listen to music that has swear words, but I don’t want them watching videos where they give horribly sexist pickup artist advice. This isn’t just about what I feel is age appropriate, either. It is also about what I know about my kids. My 10 year old hates scary things, and she gets completely freaked out when they show scary movie previews. I would like to be able to block those for her. On the other hand, my 7 year old is obsessed with scary things and I don’t mind if he plays zombie video games.
- blymphony 5mo ago
  I'm as a big of a horror movie fan as you can find, and I'm completely dumbfounded by the jump scares marketing is allowed to show in trailers nowadays. IMO (coming from someone who is basically unaffected by jump scares), they've gotten more shocking in the past couple years.
- JoshTriplett 5mo ago
  > My 10 year old hates scary things, and she gets completely freaked out when they show scary movie previews. I would like to be able to block those for her. The difference between this and the usual "parental control" mechanisms is that what you're describing here is something the child wants to cooperate with, voluntarily. In which case, you don't need a mechanism that makes it absolutely impossible; you need a mechanism for helping them not see things they don't want to see. That's something some adults also want (e.g. tools for preventing oneself going to Facebook, or going to TVTropes for too long).
  - cortesoft 5mo ago
    Honestly, this is how I feel about all content for my kids. I am not trying to stop them from seeing something they really want to see. I am trying to stop them from seeing stuff they don’t want to see. Now, sometimes my kids might not know they don’t want to see something, which is where my judgment comes in… but I don’t (or at least have not yet, anyway) feel the need to block my kids from watching things they want. Now, I have spoken to my kids about some things they watch that I have issues with. I tell them why I think the content is problematic and why I would prefer they don’t watch it. But it is always a conversation rather than me just telling them they aren’t allowed. I have been happy with how my kids have handled these conversations, and haven’t yet found the need to enforce specific rules yet. Even when they watch some things I don’t like, I have found it has made for really effective conversations about my values and what I hope their values are. Some of those topics are too abstract to have without having something tangible (like a YouTube video or channel) to center the conversation around.
- brandonmenc 5mo ago
  This level of filtering is so granular and bespoke that I'm not surprised no one offers it.
modeless 5mo ago
A pure whitelist mode, especially for video apps. Netflix, Disney, etc don't provide this because they want to push their new shows on your kids. YouTube does provide a whitelist mode, which I appreciate. But it's hard to find, poorly implemented, and blocks a lot of great content from being whitelisted. It's very frustrating to come across a great educational YouTube video and have big nanny Google block you from sharing it with your kids.
- cs02rm0 5mo ago
  And I only want one. I don't want to set it for every single app, with different nuances.

big85 5mo ago

> I don’t want someone else choosing how I control what my kids do. Give me tools to control it myself I agree. Parental controls have been the norm for thirty years. The adult who owns the device should have control over it, not Microsoft or California.

sounds 5mo ago
Please keep in mind this sudden burst of legislation is because Facebook recently faced a combined $1.1 billion fine for intentionally harming children. The judgment took years. New Mexico Child Safety Case ($375 Million) was an actual judgment. US class-action privacy lawsuit was a $725 million settlement, with no judgment. These laws were proposed as soon as it was clear Facebook would not win. They move the liability to the Operating System, exempting Facebook.

KolmogorovComp 5mo ago

maybe at 7 and 10 they shouldn't use device connected to the internet without your active supervision at all? What will they miss?

BeetleB 5mo ago
Maybe it's the parent's decision on whether they should or shouldn't?
- KolmogorovComp 5mo ago
  There’s increasing consensus among doctors that at that age any non-physically supervised usage is detrimental to their health. Would you say the same of eg: parents giving alcohol or smoking to their teenagers?
cortesoft 5mo ago
All the best stuff is online, though. My kids have found some of their favorite hobbies and interests from online videos they found. They enjoy using the internet for all the same reasons the rest of us do. I love computers and technology and the internet, and my kids and I play games together and build computers and explore technology. I have taught them a lot about internet safety (both personal and technological), and I am very impressed with their skills and abilities. I would never tell another parent they were wrong for choosing not to allow their kids to use the internet or consume certain types of media. Those are very personal choices. My wife and I have deliberately have chosen what to allow our kids to do, and continually have talks with each other and with the kids about our internet usage. I don’t feel the need or desire to seek advice or approval from random internet commenters.