4 ms·
> I quit programming to make candles for years, then apartment maintenance, now in the trades. I make 1/3 what I was making doing digital work, and I’d take a p
by hirvi74 5mo ago
> I quit programming to make candles for years, then apartment maintenance, now in the trades. I make 1/3 what I was making doing digital work, and I’d take a pay cut before returning.
This honestly brings me hope in a sort of fantasy way. I want to do this, but I do not have the courage to do it.
> The reasons I had for leaving were manifold, but the big two were wanting to quit Adderall
This hits even harder for me. I desire this too, but it's a necessary evil so long as I remain in tech.
- cestith 5mo agoThere’s a very powerful question to be asked when one hears about someone wanting to quit Adderall. Are you on it because you need it for who you are, or are you on it because you need it to meet the expectations of your employer?
- justonceokay 5mo agoFor me (OP) The “question” was more straightforward: I became an addict to various drugs and having a perscripton to uppers is a very bad idea for me.
- cestith 5mo agoThat’s probably the best reason to want to quit.
- hirvi74 5mo agoTo answer your question, both. Who I am is functionally disordered based on the societal expectations of how people should behave. Employer expectations of behavior are often harsher than societal expectations in some ways. It's like what Franz Kafka said, "I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a masquerade party, and I attended with my real face." I was eventually given a mask to cover up who I am, and I have worn it for far too long. The rat race with no cheese at the end, the 'professionalism,' the 'career development', and all the theatrical and ceremonial bullshit. Setting myself on fire to keep others warm. Killing myself from the inside out with a poison to please others. I am just so sick of it all. And most importantly, I am sick of pretending that I am not.