6 ms·

I'm not saying this is you, but i've also ran into a lot of those people, almost always men, often in their late 30s or 40s, going around talking to everyone cr

I'm not saying this is you, but i've also ran into a lot of those people, almost always men, often in their late 30s or 40s, going around talking to everyone cracking jokes and thinking they're the live of the party, while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them.

twic 5mo ago
Intelligence is knowing how to talk to anyone. Wisdom is knowing not to.
- Night_Thastus 5mo ago
  Humans are social creatures. We need socialization. It also helps keep us sharp mentally. You also never know what you might experience from talking to someone. You may make a life-long friend. Or learn about something you didn't know. It doesn't mean blab about things you shouldn't, being insensitive, etc - but isolation is not the answer.
noisy_boy 5mo ago
> while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them And you know what everyone else is feeling how?
- simmerup 5mo ago
  Appreciate this question. For a moment I was almost infected by the commenters miserly attitude
  - deleted 5mo ago
    [deleted]
globular-toast 5mo ago
I've encountered a fair few women like that too. How annoying they are is inversely proportional to how attractive they are, obviously.
hnlmorg 5mo ago
That’s a depressingly negative way to view people who are just trying to break the isolation of modern life.
- deleted 5mo ago
  [deleted]
- b65e8bee43c2ed0 5mo ago
  [flagged]
  - http-teapot 5mo ago
    How this gets posted on HN is beyond me, perhaps that's where the isolation of modern life leads to.
  - DeRock 5mo ago
    > that pretty girl? a slut who's been had by half the guys in there. I'm not going to comment on the rest, but this is a gross and misogynistic remark.
    - b65e8bee43c2ed0 5mo ago
      [flagged]
    - rootusrootus 5mo ago
      Is it any worse than the anecdotes about the guys beating their wife and kids? It is a bit offensive, but on the other hand, if we are being honest real life often is. I do not think we should go out of our way to offend people, but neither should we go out of our way to be offended.
      - DeRock 5mo ago
        If you equate being sexually promiscuous with beating your children, then you have some serious self reflection to do on your moral compass.
asdfman123 5mo ago
It's always a matter of finding the happy medium. Don't be completely drab, don't be goofy, be balanced.
deleted 5mo ago
[deleted]
rootusrootus 5mo ago
> almost always men That detail is probably unnecessary.
brailsafe 5mo ago
I think this is a particular character in a particular context you're thinking about, but—aside from overtly bombastic loud people—if he can't tell that people are annoyed, how can you? > thinking they're the live of the party, while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them. Not saying this is you, but my impression is that people who lean into silent annoyance also depend on passive aggression, fueling it with resentment that they aren't as outgoing (or whatever) and deserve the attention instead, and those who are especially anxious and/or neurotic imagine that everyone else shares the apparent negative feelings, effectively acting as they imagine everyone else wants them to act. People have a hard time letting themselves just vibe and roll with it if they think it might make them less appealing by association. Maybe they are the life of the party, since it's not much of one if people can't pump some life into it
Roark66 5mo ago
While it is possible to overdo everything and being "too jolly" can come across as insincere, despite being raised in a culture where almost no one talks to strangers I was never annoyed by this. Not even once. I don't doubt people that are, exist, but I highly doubt it's a high percentage and certainly very far from "everyone else".
elzbardico 5mo ago
On the other side, I've seen people that get anoyed with someone trying to have a good time and start subtly using their group influence to sour people against that poor sap. It is like a crabs in bucket mentality mixed with in-group machiavellian politics.
nasir 5mo ago
There's a fine line between being/not being that person. Self deprecating humor is usually works best. Also, when "everyone else is silently annoyed" that means the person can also know that. So there's a feedback loop providing signal and if someone doesn't realise that then they become annoying.

twic 5mo ago

Intelligence is knowing how to talk to anyone. Wisdom is knowing not to.

Night_Thastus 5mo ago
Humans are social creatures. We need socialization. It also helps keep us sharp mentally. You also never know what you might experience from talking to someone. You may make a life-long friend. Or learn about something you didn't know. It doesn't mean blab about things you shouldn't, being insensitive, etc - but isolation is not the answer.

noisy_boy 5mo ago

> while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them And you know what everyone else is feeling how?

simmerup 5mo ago
Appreciate this question. For a moment I was almost infected by the commenters miserly attitude
- deleted 5mo ago
  [deleted]

globular-toast 5mo ago

I've encountered a fair few women like that too. How annoying they are is inversely proportional to how attractive they are, obviously.

hnlmorg 5mo ago

That’s a depressingly negative way to view people who are just trying to break the isolation of modern life.

deleted 5mo ago
[deleted]
b65e8bee43c2ed0 5mo ago
[flagged]
- http-teapot 5mo ago
  How this gets posted on HN is beyond me, perhaps that's where the isolation of modern life leads to.
- DeRock 5mo ago
  > that pretty girl? a slut who's been had by half the guys in there. I'm not going to comment on the rest, but this is a gross and misogynistic remark.
  - b65e8bee43c2ed0 5mo ago
    [flagged]
  - rootusrootus 5mo ago
    Is it any worse than the anecdotes about the guys beating their wife and kids? It is a bit offensive, but on the other hand, if we are being honest real life often is. I do not think we should go out of our way to offend people, but neither should we go out of our way to be offended.
    - DeRock 5mo ago
      If you equate being sexually promiscuous with beating your children, then you have some serious self reflection to do on your moral compass.

asdfman123 5mo ago

It's always a matter of finding the happy medium. Don't be completely drab, don't be goofy, be balanced.

deleted 5mo ago

[deleted]

rootusrootus 5mo ago

> almost always men That detail is probably unnecessary.

brailsafe 5mo ago

I think this is a particular character in a particular context you're thinking about, but—aside from overtly bombastic loud people—if he can't tell that people are annoyed, how can you? > thinking they're the live of the party, while everyone else is just silently annoyed by them. Not saying this is you, but my impression is that people who lean into silent annoyance also depend on passive aggression, fueling it with resentment that they aren't as outgoing (or whatever) and deserve the attention instead, and those who are especially anxious and/or neurotic imagine that everyone else shares the apparent negative feelings, effectively acting as they imagine everyone else wants them to act. People have a hard time letting themselves just vibe and roll with it if they think it might make them less appealing by association. Maybe they are the life of the party, since it's not much of one if people can't pump some life into it

Roark66 5mo ago

While it is possible to overdo everything and being "too jolly" can come across as insincere, despite being raised in a culture where almost no one talks to strangers I was never annoyed by this. Not even once. I don't doubt people that are, exist, but I highly doubt it's a high percentage and certainly very far from "everyone else".

elzbardico 5mo ago

On the other side, I've seen people that get anoyed with someone trying to have a good time and start subtly using their group influence to sour people against that poor sap. It is like a crabs in bucket mentality mixed with in-group machiavellian politics.

nasir 5mo ago

There's a fine line between being/not being that person. Self deprecating humor is usually works best. Also, when "everyone else is silently annoyed" that means the person can also know that. So there's a feedback loop providing signal and if someone doesn't realise that then they become annoying.