5 ms·

Strongly agree. I know so many men who are the sole provider for their families and their wives are unhappy about how things like childcare and household chores

Strongly agree. I know so many men who are the sole provider for their families and their wives are unhappy about how things like childcare and household chores aren’t split more fairly, but they seem to have zero appreciation for the crushing burden of financially supporting a family for decades. It’s hard, stressful, and wears you down. Almost all of the stay at home moms I know get more sleep, more exercise, and more social time than their husbands do, once the kids are old enough for school. I’ve also now watched many friends divorce, and I have to say, the wives who stayed at home seem to struggle a LOT more with the transition of now having to parent AND have a job, and the husbands mostly seem to be fine. And that’s despite them now paying a big chunk of their ex’s bills!

gib444 6mo ago
> but they seem to have zero appreciation for the crushing burden of financially supporting a family for decades. It’s hard, stressful, and wears you down. Absolutely. They will though, when two parents working fully becomes a requirement instead of an option, as we are seeing in many HCOL areas. Or even, as many wish, to be the primary earner and the man stay at home. In fact, the burden on the sole earner as you point out, is /increasing/ during this transition - costs are rising due to the expectation that two people will contribute financially to the mortgage and other expenses. Another issue that women don't tend to appreciate. At that point, neither parent can catch a break, and the family and children suffer. But this equality of opportunity is exactly what women fought extremely hard for. It's a shame that marriage and the kids are sometimes the victims of the side effects. (I'm gay fwiw and not a misogynist. I do root for women's rights but not blindly. Demanding massive societal change comes with responsibilities)
- lotsofpulp 6mo ago
  >(I'm gay fwiw and not a misogynist. Ok. >I do root for women's rights but not blindly. What? How does “I’m straight fwiw and not a homophobe. I do root for queer’s rights but not blindly” come across? >Demanding massive societal change comes with responsibilities) Who isn’t being responsible? Is it all girls outperforming boys in school?
  - deleted 6mo ago
    [deleted]

gib444 6mo ago

> but they seem to have zero appreciation for the crushing burden of financially supporting a family for decades. It’s hard, stressful, and wears you down. Absolutely. They will though, when two parents working fully becomes a requirement instead of an option, as we are seeing in many HCOL areas. Or even, as many wish, to be the primary earner and the man stay at home. In fact, the burden on the sole earner as you point out, is /increasing/ during this transition - costs are rising due to the expectation that two people will contribute financially to the mortgage and other expenses. Another issue that women don't tend to appreciate. At that point, neither parent can catch a break, and the family and children suffer. But this equality of opportunity is exactly what women fought extremely hard for. It's a shame that marriage and the kids are sometimes the victims of the side effects. (I'm gay fwiw and not a misogynist. I do root for women's rights but not blindly. Demanding massive societal change comes with responsibilities)

lotsofpulp 6mo ago
>(I'm gay fwiw and not a misogynist. Ok. >I do root for women's rights but not blindly. What? How does “I’m straight fwiw and not a homophobe. I do root for queer’s rights but not blindly” come across? >Demanding massive societal change comes with responsibilities) Who isn’t being responsible? Is it all girls outperforming boys in school?
- deleted 6mo ago
  [deleted]