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When you walk by 5 of these guys every day on your way to work you tend to develop a rather callous attitude towards all unsolicited sales. Like you said, give
by jakejake 14y ago
When you walk by 5 of these guys every day on your way to work you tend to develop a rather callous attitude towards all unsolicited sales. Like you said, give them an inch and they'll talk your ear off for 5 hours, progressing through their bag of tricks like how great the product is, on to guilt trips about how badly they need the sale, to the final stage of feigning annoyance that you wasted their time or that you are a rude person.
But with my parents who I think are quite "normal" and live in my small home town, the vendors and pan handlers can smell fresh meat a mile away. It's not that they're stupid or gullible. It's just that when someone approaches and starts talking - they give them their full attention. And as per small-town courtesy you wait for a conversation to wind-down - which will never happen with these guys. They will literally never let you walk away until either you buy something or you "rudely" remove yourself from the conversation. It takes them a little while to get into that "city" state of mind where you realize that the best approach is to not get yourself sucked into a conversation in the first place.
- re_todd 14y agoAs someone that comes from a small town, I think you hit the nail on the head. It always felt so rude to not stop to listen to these people. It took me years to learn how to just keep walking without feeling terribly guilty. It helped when I realized from experience that the longer I listen and/or talk to them, the more likely they'll get pissed off if I don't give them something or buy something from them.
- geon 14y agoDoes it help to realize that not stop talking when the other person is trying to end the conversation is really rude?
- jakejake 14y agoAbsolutely true. It's difficult though, because their whole strategy is to make you uncomfortable. You're forced to modify your own behavior in a way that goes against your sense of kindness.
- Zuider 14y agoYou are forced into uncharted behavioral territory. This causes anxiety and a strong wish to return to normal. The apparent kindliness and self-assurance of the salesman makes him look like a benevolent guru, a parent figure who will guide you out of the wilderness. It is Stockholm syndrome in miniature. I have seen people thank the salesman who has just roped them into buying unwanted, overpriced junk. Hell, I have even seen people thank aggressive panhandlers and wish them well.
- re_todd 14y agoThanks, that's a good way of looking at it. Nowadays, I have so much pent-up anger and rage at these types of people after coming to terms with all the years of being manipulated by them. They must sense it, because they tend to shut up when I glare at them.
- HCIdivision17 14y agoOne way I've managed to get past it is thinking how politely listening to them is wasting their time - time they need to make a real sale instead of me stringing them along. And for the ones who push past that, well, annoying/ignoring the intentions of person you're selling to is sort of a jerk thing to do, so that mitigates the guilt a bit.