I'm sure I want a plastic nozzle, mounted inside a toilet, spraying water up into my ass. I poop in the morning, wipe off the worst with toilet paper, then hop

I'm sure I want a plastic nozzle, mounted inside a toilet, spraying water up into my ass. I poop in the morning, wipe off the worst with toilet paper, then hop in the shower. Works great, and my shower head has the advantage of never having been splashed by someone else's pee.