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I’m the author. I think the typical knee-jerk reaction would be to debate whether or not I have NPD (and I actually have thought about it) but I do agree that e

I’m the author. I think the typical knee-jerk reaction would be to debate whether or not I have NPD (and I actually have thought about it) but I do agree that essentially too much introspection can be bad and that it’s critical to get out of your head and focus on the world around you. As much as I had a visceral reaction to the Marc Andreessen video that was going around, I have to admit I understood too well what he was talking about. In my case, I believe it’s something a bit more than that — for instance, I feel DRASTICALLY different under, say, certain kinds of drugs, indicating that this might be a chemical thing, and I also have not felt this way until somewhat recently going off prescription medication. This isn’t to say that I wouldn’t also benefit from essentially being forced to stop looking inward (i.e. have a job, get married, have kids, devote life to charity, etc.). But one of the issues I try to write about is that feeling the way I do makes even leaving the house a chore. It’s like having some kind of infection where the only antidote comes in the form of a 16 inch needle you have to plunge directly into your heart.

chiefalchemist 6mo ago
To clarify, I wasn’t trying to belittle you. While the internet is fond of spreading myths about narcissism, few actual realize NPD is a proper disorder in the DSM-5. Btw, there are two types of NPD. The typical over the top bravado version, and the less recognizable “passive aggression “ version. Same core inner issues, just two different defense mechanisms. Things I’ve read that you might find fascinating a/o helpful: - The Courage to be Disliked. This book change my lens on human behavior - my own, as well as that of others. - Just about anything by Ellen Langer. She’s exceptional at challenging the status quo, and making “Gee, I never thought of that in that way” observations. - 50 Psychology Classics by Tom Butler Bowden. Even the brief summaries have helpful ideas. Again, I apologize if I stepped on your toes. That was not my intention. TBH I recently left a relationship where my exGF sounded a lot like you in many ways. In addition, Tho she said she was a recovering alcoholic, I’m convinced she suffered from NPD and recovery and AA simple fit that profile (I.e., lack of accountability, made playing the victim card easy, using it as a tool for manipulation, etc.)(1) I don’t beliefe it was intentional per se, as much as over a lifetime she had crafted a lifestyle for so long that it was perfectly natural for her. It wasn’t a defense mechanism. It was as natural as breathing. This will all make more sense once you read The Courage to Be Disliked (1) all these are classic NPD
- bunson_burner 6mo ago
  No worries, I didn’t get that sense. I just think most people would probably felt the need to defend themselves (and I did, albeit briefly, before reconsidering what you were saying, which, like I mentioned, I agree with). Thanks for the references, I wasn’t aware of the other version of NPD. I haven’t read the Courage to be Disliked but I’ll check it out.
  - chiefalchemist 6mo ago
    Also, Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind. If you want a preview of the book, there’s a Netflix documentary.

chiefalchemist 6mo ago

To clarify, I wasn’t trying to belittle you. While the internet is fond of spreading myths about narcissism, few actual realize NPD is a proper disorder in the DSM-5. Btw, there are two types of NPD. The typical over the top bravado version, and the less recognizable “passive aggression “ version. Same core inner issues, just two different defense mechanisms. Things I’ve read that you might find fascinating a/o helpful: - The Courage to be Disliked. This book change my lens on human behavior - my own, as well as that of others. - Just about anything by Ellen Langer. She’s exceptional at challenging the status quo, and making “Gee, I never thought of that in that way” observations. - 50 Psychology Classics by Tom Butler Bowden. Even the brief summaries have helpful ideas. Again, I apologize if I stepped on your toes. That was not my intention. TBH I recently left a relationship where my exGF sounded a lot like you in many ways. In addition, Tho she said she was a recovering alcoholic, I’m convinced she suffered from NPD and recovery and AA simple fit that profile (I.e., lack of accountability, made playing the victim card easy, using it as a tool for manipulation, etc.)(1) I don’t beliefe it was intentional per se, as much as over a lifetime she had crafted a lifestyle for so long that it was perfectly natural for her. It wasn’t a defense mechanism. It was as natural as breathing. This will all make more sense once you read The Courage to Be Disliked (1) all these are classic NPD

bunson_burner 6mo ago
No worries, I didn’t get that sense. I just think most people would probably felt the need to defend themselves (and I did, albeit briefly, before reconsidering what you were saying, which, like I mentioned, I agree with). Thanks for the references, I wasn’t aware of the other version of NPD. I haven’t read the Courage to be Disliked but I’ll check it out.
- chiefalchemist 6mo ago
  Also, Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind. If you want a preview of the book, there’s a Netflix documentary.