3 ms·
I follow an informal rule of "never be the first person in a conversation to bring up work/career" (or weather, or family/kids). If you play the rule like a ga
by cj 6mo ago
I follow an informal rule of "never be the first person in a conversation to bring up work/career" (or weather, or family/kids).
If you play the rule like a game, it's kind of fun.
After starting with a personal trainer, I made it 10 sessions (10 hours) of small talk before he finally asked me something that led to a conversation about work.
It's a lot more challenging (but way more rewarding I find) to initiate conversation topics relevant to the context you're meeting the person in, and waiting for the other person to bring up the boilerplate conversation topics if it's important to them.
- wnc3141 6mo agoI hate asking people what they do, but it's hard to know ahead of time what questions will get an excited answer, so it's sort of a fall back.
- littlexsparkee 6mo agoI feel like asking 'what brought you to <city>?' is a framing that doesn't box them in so much, they can respond with non-work interests or volunteer about what they do if they want
- bluGill 6mo agoThat is horrible. Conversations are most easy to start around weather, work, and family. (Travel, where you live, hobbies, and sport are most of the rest.) you don't help anyone avoiding conversation.
- cj 6mo agoThat’s why it’s a game. If I run out of interesting conversation starters, I default to weather/work/family and carry on. I simply prefer to start with unique/contextual topics first.
- AugSun 6mo agobluGill: "how is your family" $another-guy: oh, still dead after that train crash. or bluGill : "what do you do for work" $another-girl: why are you asking? Do you have a problem with that? ... fun conversations indeed.
- cj 6mo agoI don’t understand what you’re trying to communicate. I don’t have a problem with those questions. I do have a problem with getting bored at social events by boring boilerplate conversation, and I shared my strategy for having interesting conversations. I’m happy to debate you if you clearly state a viewpoint.
- bluGill 6mo agothat makes sense.