5 ms·

"They've betrayed my trust but I wish them well" is an interesting statement.

margalabargala 7mo ago
"I wish them well" is an idiom for "I never want to see them again". Kinda like "bless your heart", which means nothing of the sort.
- DANmode 7mo ago
  but should it be?
- huhkerrf 7mo ago
  Why do non-Southerners keep insisting on this? Bless your heart can be said sincerely or ironically, like pretty much any other phrase.
  - maxbond 7mo ago
    The ironic usage makes for compelling dialogue and comports with stereotypes about Southerners as formal/restrained. So that's what ends up on television. At least that is how I think I came about having that impression.
    - guzfip 7mo ago
      > So that's what ends up on television. Maybe 7-8 years ago I met an Iranian. They were genuinely shocked I wasn’t a cowboy hat wearing racist when I told them I was from the south. I grew up in the Atlanta area.
  - margalabargala 7mo ago
    You mean kinds like "I wish them well" here? My comment is an internet comment about idioms, not a comprehensive linguistic treatise. You seem like you're looking for something to be upset about. I wish you well.
  - ubertaco 7mo ago
    Yeah, I get this a lot, especially from non-southern in-laws who think it's a hoot that they've "cracked the code" and can "speak southern". Being repeatedpy stereotyped to your face gets old pretty quick. For folks who don't know, here's the best explanation I can offer from growing up in the Atlanta area (but well outside the perimeter): "Bless your heart" is most commonly an expression of sympathy. Sometimes, it's sympathetic towards the hardship someone's going through (e.g. "and right after his grandma passed, bless his heart.") Sometimes it's sympathetic to the trouble someone went through (e.g. "oh bless your heart, you didn't have to go out of your way to bring extra! Thank you so much!") And yes, sometimes it's an expression of sympathy for the fact that life must be hard for you because of your ignorance, stubbornness, stupidity, or arrogance (or some other such stunting quality) (e.g. "and he thinks he can graduate from Tech with those grades, bless his heart," or "bless his heart, I just don't think he's ever had anyone tell him no in his entire life.")
  - cbarrick 7mo ago
    Yeah, it's a pretty versatile phrase that's hard to explain. But it does often have a connotation of childishness or naivety, even when used sincerely. It is often used an expression of thanks or appreciation, but I associate that more with an elder speaking to someone younger. Most of the time, it is an genuine expression of true empathy, but it's not uncommon to be used as a passive aggressive expression of false empathy. It's that childish connotation that give it the extra bite when used passive aggressively. And that plausible deniability, where the phrase is used in a genuine context often enough that sometimes you can't tell that someone is throwing shade, is very much a reflection of southern culture. Source: Grew up in Georgia and North Carolina, with some family in Alabama.
dmos62 7mo ago
Don't you wish well on people you don't want to associate with? It would be interesting if you didn't, imo.
- latexr 7mo ago
  > people you don't want to associate with That’s an oversimplification of what your parent comment said, which was someone who has betrayed your trust. > It would be interesting if you didn't Why? What’s interesting about it? You don’t have to actively wish harm on people who harmed you, but there’s nothing strange about not wishing them well.
  - dmos62 7mo ago
    You make it sound like wishing harm or wishing wellness are activities while not wishing anything is just the default passive state. To me the default posture is not indifference, but wishing wellness. We throw around words like "interesting", which is a subtle way to say "not normal", which is a subtle way to say that that's not how we would behave and that we think that others shouldn't behave that way either. So I take back what I said about what is interesting to me, and I'll just say that I wish it was normal to wish well to others, regardless of their actions or repercussions you impose on them.
    - latexr 7mo ago
      > You make it sound like wishing harm or wishing wellness are activities while not wishing anything is just the default passive state. Not what I said. > To me the default posture is not indifference, but wishing wellness. Same here. I’m not convinced that’s the default state for everyone, though. David Foster Wallace’s “This is Water” comes to mind. > We throw around words like "interesting", which is a subtle way to say "not normal", which is a subtle way to say that that's not how we would behave and that we think that others shouldn't behave that way either. Sure, I get that. Though you’re still answering as if what was in question was the neutral state of “people you don’t associate with” rather than the negative state in question mentioned by your original parent comment of “someone who has wronged you”. > I'll just say that I wish it was normal to wish well to others, regardless of their actions or repercussions you impose on them. Interesting. No criticism on my part. My wish would rather be that we don’t wrong each other (which, crucially, requires intentionality) in the first place. And while I don’t typically wish ill on others, I don’t think it’s wrong to not wish well on those who cause harm. If you’re a despot oppressing millions of people for your own selfish benefit, I don’t really think wishing you well is a positive action. But again, no judgement, I was trying to understand your position, so thank you for clarifying. Have a nice weekend.
altmanaltman 7mo ago
"they can fuck off from where they came" would be a bit too intense even for Gary
- ethanwillis 7mo ago
  I guess if he told them "die slow motherfuckers" as he's told others that wouldn't be too intense for him.
dtf 7mo ago
It's giving Gwyneth Paltrow at the conclusion of her ski crash trial.
saagarjha 7mo ago
Someone doing harm to you doesn't automatically mean you wish harm to them. Not that I necessarily take what Garry says at face value but it's definitely possible to unironically take this viewpoint.
- lezojeda 7mo ago
  [dead]
- BugsJustFindMe 7mo ago
  "Betrayal" requires intent so it's not just any old harm. That may not automatically mean you wish them harm in return, but I believe it would be very uncommon to not.
  - saagarjha 7mo ago
    This is a core tenet in at least one major religion
  - gcr 7mo ago
    "Betrayal" also isn't the word that GT used.
    - BugsJustFindMe 7mo ago
      It seems like an accurate paraphrase in the context of other known news about Delve, and it was shorter than "We trusted them to not do something intentionally fraudulent and then lie to us, and I believe they knowingly violated that trust by doing something intentionally fraudulent and lying to us."
raverbashing 7mo ago
It's the polite way of saying goodbye when you actually mean "eff off"
- roysting 7mo ago
  People don’t realize that the people at the top of organizations are effectively like politicians in democratic systems only the vote comes in confidence; usually manipulative, lying, and deceptive because they are inherently dependent on maintaining perception of the people they rely on and underpin their roles and power. One way in which they do that is to ride or effectively are selected by the system for their mastery of the psychological trick of positivity and optimism that predisposes people to follow and trust, e.g., even when someone betrays you, you “wish them well. In such systems, courage and hard lines that enforce strict rules, discipline, and principles does not provide the leaders in that system the affordances and benefits of leadership. As has been indicated, the subject behaviors are not only not novel, nor are they unique. What precipitated this current action appears to be the egregious and probably violative nature of the behavior, not the behavior itself. The veneer of perception was pierced, which is the real trigger of action. Just use my saying what I just said above as an example, there will be people who have not even read this last paragraph and will it will have the urge to down vote what I said solely on the basis that they want to punish me, the messenger, because I’m pointing out things that are very much true and not saying it in a positive manner. It causes feelings of discomfort and especially in American society today where everything is geared towards positivity and good feelings opium, not bad feelings, even if you’re being scammed or defrauded or lied to, you have to remain positive, say things in positive ways, be “constructive”. I don’t know if it’s sustainable because it’s such a con job at its very core, an abusive confidence trick, maintaining the perception of confidence and optimism to keep people happy and positive and optimistic regardless of red flags; however, we shall all find out one day if no one being able to deal with reality anymore if it’s not wrapped some nicety, is sustainable. Hence, “They violated us/me” but “I wish them well”. See, they are wished well, so everything is fine and we just removed the bad apple, nothing to see here, keep being positive as the telescreen instructs you to.
DonHopkins 7mo ago
Apparently Garry Tan has the same warm feelings and friendly relationship with Delve as Trump has with Ghislaine Maxwell. Trump On Ghislaine Maxwell: "I Just Wish Her Well" | NBC News https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC2jsRrzCrs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC2jsRrzCrs
vr46 7mo ago
"Bless their little hearts"
justin66 7mo ago
“We’re keeping our distance but we still own a piece of their company” might have done it?
taikahessu 7mo ago
Everyone one of us makes mistakes. Wish all well and see what the future brings.
- pessimizer 7mo ago
  It wasn't a mistake, they did it on purpose.
4b11b4 7mo ago
The gstack is also pretty interesting.. well, not really
brookst 7mo ago
It’s what you say to establish it’s a professional action taken for business reasons.
jappgar 6mo ago
they're all in the betraying trust industry so they can't take it personally

"I wish them well" is an idiom for "I never want to see them again". Kinda like "bless your heart", which means nothing of the sort.

DANmode 7mo ago
but should it be?
huhkerrf 7mo ago
Why do non-Southerners keep insisting on this? Bless your heart can be said sincerely or ironically, like pretty much any other phrase.
- maxbond 7mo ago
  The ironic usage makes for compelling dialogue and comports with stereotypes about Southerners as formal/restrained. So that's what ends up on television. At least that is how I think I came about having that impression.
  - guzfip 7mo ago
    > So that's what ends up on television. Maybe 7-8 years ago I met an Iranian. They were genuinely shocked I wasn’t a cowboy hat wearing racist when I told them I was from the south. I grew up in the Atlanta area.
- margalabargala 7mo ago
  You mean kinds like "I wish them well" here? My comment is an internet comment about idioms, not a comprehensive linguistic treatise. You seem like you're looking for something to be upset about. I wish you well.
- ubertaco 7mo ago
  Yeah, I get this a lot, especially from non-southern in-laws who think it's a hoot that they've "cracked the code" and can "speak southern". Being repeatedpy stereotyped to your face gets old pretty quick. For folks who don't know, here's the best explanation I can offer from growing up in the Atlanta area (but well outside the perimeter): "Bless your heart" is most commonly an expression of sympathy. Sometimes, it's sympathetic towards the hardship someone's going through (e.g. "and right after his grandma passed, bless his heart.") Sometimes it's sympathetic to the trouble someone went through (e.g. "oh bless your heart, you didn't have to go out of your way to bring extra! Thank you so much!") And yes, sometimes it's an expression of sympathy for the fact that life must be hard for you because of your ignorance, stubbornness, stupidity, or arrogance (or some other such stunting quality) (e.g. "and he thinks he can graduate from Tech with those grades, bless his heart," or "bless his heart, I just don't think he's ever had anyone tell him no in his entire life.")
- cbarrick 7mo ago
  Yeah, it's a pretty versatile phrase that's hard to explain. But it does often have a connotation of childishness or naivety, even when used sincerely. It is often used an expression of thanks or appreciation, but I associate that more with an elder speaking to someone younger. Most of the time, it is an genuine expression of true empathy, but it's not uncommon to be used as a passive aggressive expression of false empathy. It's that childish connotation that give it the extra bite when used passive aggressively. And that plausible deniability, where the phrase is used in a genuine context often enough that sometimes you can't tell that someone is throwing shade, is very much a reflection of southern culture. Source: Grew up in Georgia and North Carolina, with some family in Alabama.

dmos62 7mo ago

Don't you wish well on people you don't want to associate with? It would be interesting if you didn't, imo.

latexr 7mo ago
> people you don't want to associate with That’s an oversimplification of what your parent comment said, which was someone who has betrayed your trust. > It would be interesting if you didn't Why? What’s interesting about it? You don’t have to actively wish harm on people who harmed you, but there’s nothing strange about not wishing them well.
- dmos62 7mo ago
  You make it sound like wishing harm or wishing wellness are activities while not wishing anything is just the default passive state. To me the default posture is not indifference, but wishing wellness. We throw around words like "interesting", which is a subtle way to say "not normal", which is a subtle way to say that that's not how we would behave and that we think that others shouldn't behave that way either. So I take back what I said about what is interesting to me, and I'll just say that I wish it was normal to wish well to others, regardless of their actions or repercussions you impose on them.
  - latexr 7mo ago
    > You make it sound like wishing harm or wishing wellness are activities while not wishing anything is just the default passive state. Not what I said. > To me the default posture is not indifference, but wishing wellness. Same here. I’m not convinced that’s the default state for everyone, though. David Foster Wallace’s “This is Water” comes to mind. > We throw around words like "interesting", which is a subtle way to say "not normal", which is a subtle way to say that that's not how we would behave and that we think that others shouldn't behave that way either. Sure, I get that. Though you’re still answering as if what was in question was the neutral state of “people you don’t associate with” rather than the negative state in question mentioned by your original parent comment of “someone who has wronged you”. > I'll just say that I wish it was normal to wish well to others, regardless of their actions or repercussions you impose on them. Interesting. No criticism on my part. My wish would rather be that we don’t wrong each other (which, crucially, requires intentionality) in the first place. And while I don’t typically wish ill on others, I don’t think it’s wrong to not wish well on those who cause harm. If you’re a despot oppressing millions of people for your own selfish benefit, I don’t really think wishing you well is a positive action. But again, no judgement, I was trying to understand your position, so thank you for clarifying. Have a nice weekend.

altmanaltman 7mo ago

"they can fuck off from where they came" would be a bit too intense even for Gary

ethanwillis 7mo ago
I guess if he told them "die slow motherfuckers" as he's told others that wouldn't be too intense for him.

dtf 7mo ago

It's giving Gwyneth Paltrow at the conclusion of her ski crash trial.

saagarjha 7mo ago

Someone doing harm to you doesn't automatically mean you wish harm to them. Not that I necessarily take what Garry says at face value but it's definitely possible to unironically take this viewpoint.

lezojeda 7mo ago
[dead]
BugsJustFindMe 7mo ago
"Betrayal" requires intent so it's not just any old harm. That may not automatically mean you wish them harm in return, but I believe it would be very uncommon to not.
- saagarjha 7mo ago
  This is a core tenet in at least one major religion
- gcr 7mo ago
  "Betrayal" also isn't the word that GT used.
  - BugsJustFindMe 7mo ago
    It seems like an accurate paraphrase in the context of other known news about Delve, and it was shorter than "We trusted them to not do something intentionally fraudulent and then lie to us, and I believe they knowingly violated that trust by doing something intentionally fraudulent and lying to us."

raverbashing 7mo ago

It's the polite way of saying goodbye when you actually mean "eff off"

roysting 7mo ago
People don’t realize that the people at the top of organizations are effectively like politicians in democratic systems only the vote comes in confidence; usually manipulative, lying, and deceptive because they are inherently dependent on maintaining perception of the people they rely on and underpin their roles and power. One way in which they do that is to ride or effectively are selected by the system for their mastery of the psychological trick of positivity and optimism that predisposes people to follow and trust, e.g., even when someone betrays you, you “wish them well. In such systems, courage and hard lines that enforce strict rules, discipline, and principles does not provide the leaders in that system the affordances and benefits of leadership. As has been indicated, the subject behaviors are not only not novel, nor are they unique. What precipitated this current action appears to be the egregious and probably violative nature of the behavior, not the behavior itself. The veneer of perception was pierced, which is the real trigger of action. Just use my saying what I just said above as an example, there will be people who have not even read this last paragraph and will it will have the urge to down vote what I said solely on the basis that they want to punish me, the messenger, because I’m pointing out things that are very much true and not saying it in a positive manner. It causes feelings of discomfort and especially in American society today where everything is geared towards positivity and good feelings opium, not bad feelings, even if you’re being scammed or defrauded or lied to, you have to remain positive, say things in positive ways, be “constructive”. I don’t know if it’s sustainable because it’s such a con job at its very core, an abusive confidence trick, maintaining the perception of confidence and optimism to keep people happy and positive and optimistic regardless of red flags; however, we shall all find out one day if no one being able to deal with reality anymore if it’s not wrapped some nicety, is sustainable. Hence, “They violated us/me” but “I wish them well”. See, they are wished well, so everything is fine and we just removed the bad apple, nothing to see here, keep being positive as the telescreen instructs you to.

DonHopkins 7mo ago

Apparently Garry Tan has the same warm feelings and friendly relationship with Delve as Trump has with Ghislaine Maxwell. Trump On Ghislaine Maxwell: "I Just Wish Her Well" | NBC News https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC2jsRrzCrs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC2jsRrzCrs

vr46 7mo ago

"Bless their little hearts"

justin66 7mo ago

“We’re keeping our distance but we still own a piece of their company” might have done it?

taikahessu 7mo ago

Everyone one of us makes mistakes. Wish all well and see what the future brings.

pessimizer 7mo ago
It wasn't a mistake, they did it on purpose.

4b11b4 7mo ago

The gstack is also pretty interesting.. well, not really

brookst 7mo ago

It’s what you say to establish it’s a professional action taken for business reasons.

jappgar 6mo ago

they're all in the betraying trust industry so they can't take it personally