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I already do this with my <16. It’s called parenting. They can use their computer however. That’s fine. It’s the engagement based social media and constant com

by dgxyz 7mo ago

I already do this with my <16. It’s called parenting. They can use their computer however. That’s fine. It’s the engagement based social media and constant comms via messaging that’s the issue. I find that she doesn’t actually use it all the time and goes and does other stuff like reading and recently drawing and painting.

thenfcm 7mo ago
If you think youre such a great parent that you or your kid is safe from the insidious danger of social media, I think youre being naive.
- dgxyz 7mo ago
  I don’t think that at all. I just make sure they get to experience the rest of the world first. Literature, art, music, games, conversation, meeting people in real life, jumping on a plane and going places and seeing things. There’s a lot to do in the world. Social media isn’t very attractive if you go and do those things. I’d you don’t then it becomes a portal to a narrow view of the world and then there is trouble.
  - thenfcm 7mo ago
    With that I agree. But it comes down as society as a whole to create that environment for children, not individual parenting.
noja 7mo ago
> It’s called parenting. There are multi-billionar dollar industries targeting the attention of your child. Many adults have problems resisting. Are you using any technical measures to limit what they can see or do?
- dgxyz 7mo ago
  I’ve got three kids, albeit two somewhat older. It’s not a panopticon prison. There’s trust. The social media thing just isn’t a big thing for them. They all use WhatsApp and that’s about it. I mean one has instagram and that’s marketing for part time job while she’s studying. Edit: just asked her and she’s on book 7 this year. That’s a whole lot better for you than doom scrolling.
didibus 7mo ago
> It’s called parenting. Society has a responsibility and an interest in parenting your kids as well. That's why it mandates some level of education and offer parts of it for free. It's why it has stores/bars check ID for buying alcohol or cigarettes. It's why banks don't give loans or credit cards to kids. It's why kids that commit a crime are not treated like adults. So I never really understood that argument that society shouldn't also be worried and want to put some measures in place to protect kids from social media harm.
- dgxyz 7mo ago
  I don't disagree. Society should reinforce what is good for it. But it should have reinforced parenting rather than introduce draconian controls on everything. Because they always end up creating more problems. On top of that, while the current government may not be an authoritarian dictatorship, that is not guaranteed going forwards so any mechanisms the state build must be compatible with that in the future. This is not.
  - didibus 7mo ago
    I reckon the difficulty in the balancing act, and frankly don't have an answer for it. And I agree that regulation that can help parent do parenting would be a good start, so many services have such poor parental control, or it's behind an extra fee. Or in general, parents are not given support in both appropriate time off, financial, help, and education to be better parents. That said, there are also so many bad parents, child without one, and so on, as well as external influences where parents can't reasonably be present for 24h/7, that I think there is also room for measures that don't rely on parents. And again, I reckon some of the ideas on what those could be conflict with other ideals, and I have no solution for that, but I think we won't find a solution by simply denying what the other cares about, which I often see happening. Either one side claims privacy don't matter as much as those that care about do, or they claim that children and their safety/health doesn't matter as much as those that care about it do. And I see both often pushing the problem away, like, parents should just not let kids to these things, or privacy conscious folks just shouldn't expect privacy on major platform and not use them.
sweezyjeezy 7mo ago
Is HN in complete denial about what is happening to the younger generations right now? My whole family are teachers, and they are all sounding the alarm. A majority of kids are basically unable to read books now. Not just children - young adults studying English literature at college... Parents are up against some of the wealthiest companies on earth, and the fear of socially excluding their kids by limiting their usage. Systemic change is never going to come from parents on this one.
- hyperbolablabla 7mo ago
  Not to state the obvious but, isn't literacy an entry requirement for a college course?
  - sweezyjeezy 7mo ago
    It's their attention span. My SIL is an English professor and she stopped assigning long texts. The kids won't read it, will get an AI to summarize, and then give her poor reviews at the end for making them read.
  - rahimnathwani 7mo ago
    Nope. https://www.live5news.com/2025/02/28/former-high-school-honors-student-who-says-she-cant-read-write-sues-district-where-she-graduated/ https://www.live5news.com/2025/02/28/former-high-school-hono... Nineteen-year-old Aleysha Ortiz says she graduated from high school with honors and earned a college scholarship, but she can’t read or write. The problem is also discussed briefly in this recent paper: https://senate.ucsd.edu/media/740347/sawg-report-on-admissions-review-docs.pdf https://senate.ucsd.edu/media/740347/sawg-report-on-admissio...
  - BDPW 7mo ago
    The problem seems to be that many students going to college can't seem to read any substantial texts anymore, while somehow getting themselves into college. It's pretty worrying imo. There's a bunch of articles about this as well: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/11/the-elite-college-students-who-cant-read-books/679945/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/11/the-eli...
imjonse 7mo ago
> It’s called parenting. That clearly is required here, but the scale of the existing and potential harm is such that relying on parenting only is the equivalent of using paper instead of plastic straws when the worlds biggest companies and militaries are burning down the environment.

by dgxyz 7mo ago

thenfcm 7mo ago

If you think youre such a great parent that you or your kid is safe from the insidious danger of social media, I think youre being naive.

dgxyz 7mo ago
I don’t think that at all. I just make sure they get to experience the rest of the world first. Literature, art, music, games, conversation, meeting people in real life, jumping on a plane and going places and seeing things. There’s a lot to do in the world. Social media isn’t very attractive if you go and do those things. I’d you don’t then it becomes a portal to a narrow view of the world and then there is trouble.
- thenfcm 7mo ago
  With that I agree. But it comes down as society as a whole to create that environment for children, not individual parenting.

noja 7mo ago

> It’s called parenting. There are multi-billionar dollar industries targeting the attention of your child. Many adults have problems resisting. Are you using any technical measures to limit what they can see or do?

dgxyz 7mo ago
I’ve got three kids, albeit two somewhat older. It’s not a panopticon prison. There’s trust. The social media thing just isn’t a big thing for them. They all use WhatsApp and that’s about it. I mean one has instagram and that’s marketing for part time job while she’s studying. Edit: just asked her and she’s on book 7 this year. That’s a whole lot better for you than doom scrolling.

didibus 7mo ago

> It’s called parenting. Society has a responsibility and an interest in parenting your kids as well. That's why it mandates some level of education and offer parts of it for free. It's why it has stores/bars check ID for buying alcohol or cigarettes. It's why banks don't give loans or credit cards to kids. It's why kids that commit a crime are not treated like adults. So I never really understood that argument that society shouldn't also be worried and want to put some measures in place to protect kids from social media harm.

dgxyz 7mo ago
I don't disagree. Society should reinforce what is good for it. But it should have reinforced parenting rather than introduce draconian controls on everything. Because they always end up creating more problems. On top of that, while the current government may not be an authoritarian dictatorship, that is not guaranteed going forwards so any mechanisms the state build must be compatible with that in the future. This is not.
- didibus 7mo ago
  I reckon the difficulty in the balancing act, and frankly don't have an answer for it. And I agree that regulation that can help parent do parenting would be a good start, so many services have such poor parental control, or it's behind an extra fee. Or in general, parents are not given support in both appropriate time off, financial, help, and education to be better parents. That said, there are also so many bad parents, child without one, and so on, as well as external influences where parents can't reasonably be present for 24h/7, that I think there is also room for measures that don't rely on parents. And again, I reckon some of the ideas on what those could be conflict with other ideals, and I have no solution for that, but I think we won't find a solution by simply denying what the other cares about, which I often see happening. Either one side claims privacy don't matter as much as those that care about do, or they claim that children and their safety/health doesn't matter as much as those that care about it do. And I see both often pushing the problem away, like, parents should just not let kids to these things, or privacy conscious folks just shouldn't expect privacy on major platform and not use them.

sweezyjeezy 7mo ago

Is HN in complete denial about what is happening to the younger generations right now? My whole family are teachers, and they are all sounding the alarm. A majority of kids are basically unable to read books now. Not just children - young adults studying English literature at college... Parents are up against some of the wealthiest companies on earth, and the fear of socially excluding their kids by limiting their usage. Systemic change is never going to come from parents on this one.

hyperbolablabla 7mo ago
Not to state the obvious but, isn't literacy an entry requirement for a college course?
- sweezyjeezy 7mo ago
  It's their attention span. My SIL is an English professor and she stopped assigning long texts. The kids won't read it, will get an AI to summarize, and then give her poor reviews at the end for making them read.
- rahimnathwani 7mo ago
  Nope. https://www.live5news.com/2025/02/28/former-high-school-honors-student-who-says-she-cant-read-write-sues-district-where-she-graduated/ https://www.live5news.com/2025/02/28/former-high-school-hono... Nineteen-year-old Aleysha Ortiz says she graduated from high school with honors and earned a college scholarship, but she can’t read or write. The problem is also discussed briefly in this recent paper: https://senate.ucsd.edu/media/740347/sawg-report-on-admissions-review-docs.pdf https://senate.ucsd.edu/media/740347/sawg-report-on-admissio...
- BDPW 7mo ago
  The problem seems to be that many students going to college can't seem to read any substantial texts anymore, while somehow getting themselves into college. It's pretty worrying imo. There's a bunch of articles about this as well: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/11/the-elite-college-students-who-cant-read-books/679945/ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/11/the-eli...

imjonse 7mo ago

> It’s called parenting. That clearly is required here, but the scale of the existing and potential harm is such that relying on parenting only is the equivalent of using paper instead of plastic straws when the worlds biggest companies and militaries are burning down the environment.