2 ms·

For me, kids have had a “filtering” effect. Where previously I had a lot of friends (including shallow ones), having less time and being less flexible in genera

For me, kids have had a “filtering” effect. Where previously I had a lot of friends (including shallow ones), having less time and being less flexible in general compressed my circle of friends to just a few people with whom I share both a deeper connection and a mutual understanding that the pressures of life sometimes get between us, and that’s ok. And as another commenter mentioned, kids do grow older…

pino83 7mo ago
You might confirm or not. As far as I observe it, the "deeper connection" is virtually always with other parents. And this is exactly the connection. Without children, it's neither possible nor attractive to be one of these persons.
- alex_suzuki 7mo ago
  It’s true for me, and probably for most parents, that connecting with other parents via the shared experience of haing kids is easy: there’s always something to talk about. But I also find that for me, both parties having kids is simply not enough for it to click! I knew my close friends from before I had kids, the connection was already there. I agree that making new friends across the “kids barrier” is hard. You just live in different worlds.
  - organsnyder 7mo ago
    We've become really close friends with a couple of families on our block. It definitely helps that we all have kids the same age, but a big reason for this is that our kids entertain each other, freeing the adults (most of the time) to interact with each other. I also sing in a small choir that is as much a friend group as it is a music ensemble. Most of us have kids, but not everyone; while I can't speak for those in the group without kids, I think one reason it works so well is because none of us have parenting responsibilities while we're together as a choir (we joke that rehearsals are a great time for us to escape from our families).

2 ms·

For me, kids have had a “filtering” effect. Where previously I had a lot of friends (including shallow ones), having less time and being less flexible in genera

by alex_suzuki 7mo ago

pino83 7mo ago
You might confirm or not. As far as I observe it, the "deeper connection" is virtually always with other parents. And this is exactly the connection. Without children, it's neither possible nor attractive to be one of these persons.
- alex_suzuki 7mo ago
  It’s true for me, and probably for most parents, that connecting with other parents via the shared experience of haing kids is easy: there’s always something to talk about. But I also find that for me, both parties having kids is simply not enough for it to click! I knew my close friends from before I had kids, the connection was already there. I agree that making new friends across the “kids barrier” is hard. You just live in different worlds.
  - organsnyder 7mo ago
    We've become really close friends with a couple of families on our block. It definitely helps that we all have kids the same age, but a big reason for this is that our kids entertain each other, freeing the adults (most of the time) to interact with each other. I also sing in a small choir that is as much a friend group as it is a music ensemble. Most of us have kids, but not everyone; while I can't speak for those in the group without kids, I think one reason it works so well is because none of us have parenting responsibilities while we're together as a choir (we joke that rehearsals are a great time for us to escape from our families).