You’re both making valid and sincere points. I think the confusion may be in a situation (regardless of culture) where one knows that a loved one’s family has

You’re both making valid and sincere points. I think the confusion may be in a situation (regardless of culture) where one knows that a loved one’s family has a high regard for courtesy and manners, and you’re willing and eager to please them, sometimes this desire could be mistaken by others for an obsession or “reification” of the specific culture of the family. I have enjoyed the politeness of the comments from you both and appreciate your courtesy!