I think there may be an issue with your driving analogy. Your goal all along seems to be to achieve flow: "After all, racing to me was all about getting access

I think there may be an issue with your driving analogy. Your goal all along seems to be to achieve flow: "After all, racing to me was all about getting access to long stretches of flow, that sensation of being so completely engrossed in an activity that you lose track of time and place." You set yourself tasks to achieve that goal, and as each task was fulfilled, you may have realized that flow, again, required additional tasks to achieve. However, your goals, your rules.