My observation neé suggestion is to examine your expectations and what you think it means to be a nice (or good) colleague. First principle: social milieus run

My observation neé suggestion is to examine your expectations and what you think it means to be a nice (or good) colleague. First principle: social milieus run primarily on instinct, so the first rule is know thyself: what are your instincts? What you find attractive in others, what annoys you. What do you want? Next: You can't always get what you want but we tend to get what we need. Observe silent gratitude when you feel it and make a note of it. Third: ask not what others can do for you, but what can you do for others, in a manner that fits your feelings, values, and after this, what do you wish for them. Offer your surplus gingerly to the people you like. Continuing: Respect your own feelings about those you don't like. Understand yourself, your moods, peeves, pleasures, agitations. Keep work relationships focused on the work at hand. Build trust with your own performance and stay focused on the work. When you have the good fortune to find friendly birds of a feather, treat these relationships with the respect and boundaries appropriate to the workplace. Don't let others suck you into their trips out of obligations of appearing friendly. Lastly, most of who we are is unconscious and instinctual. Being nice all the time might seem appealing from a pragmatic view, but it's vibe that can truly annoy others subconsciously. If there's "a game" we all play socially it's to conserve the privilege of our solitude and time with people we truly like. Work is full bores. (A bore being someone who deprives you of solitude without offering company) Regarding destiny or a personal curse: It is possible you are a true social outlier having an unusual and unfortunate experience that few others have seen nor can they appreciate. It's possible that workplace life is now generally insane. Consider your own temperament and values and how you will walk through hell. Observe that while you might be in hell, by your own conduct and attitude, anyplace you end up can potentially become better because you're there! If you aren't finding what you need, try building it for those around you.