5 ms·

My grandsons would come and stay, bringing tablet devices with them, and would prefer to stay glued to them the whole time. Since we banned their use, they now

My grandsons would come and stay, bringing tablet devices with them, and would prefer to stay glued to them the whole time. Since we banned their use, they now play outside with my other grandchildren, on the rope swing, the zip line, or exploring in the woods making dens and forts, using their imaginations. Children should not be playing computer games, or scrolling on any social media, IMO.

otherme123 8mo ago
I have heard a number of parents saying their kids are "good behaved" when they are silently glued to a screen, while roaming outside, making noise and playing are bad behaviours, specially when they break things or get a bruise.
- CrzyLngPwd 8mo ago
  Worse still, they are so well-behaved, with their tablet and headphones on, watching YouTube or playing games.
  - grvdrm 8mo ago
    My nephew (8) has a VR headset. Doh.
Brybry 8mo ago
I think a fair number of us here got into computers because of playing computer games as kids. The issue is setting limits. Now obviously banning is easier and lower friction but limiting to an X time per day routine can also help with self-discipline. Depends on the person. Kids can have the same issue with TV. I had an issue as a kid with books. My parents had to limit my reading time because I would stay up all night under my covers with a flashlight reading.
- fhennig 8mo ago
  I agree with the 'setting limits' bit. But also maybe the parent post and you refer to kids of different ages? I didn't have access to a computer until I was 9, and then also we didn't have tables and smartphones, so there computer was only available at home as well. I think below a certain age the limit is fine to be set as 'not at all'.
- microtonal 8mo ago
  There is a big difference between games now and games then. E.g. an SNES game was made to be fun, but not to be intentionally addictive, you would never buy a new game if it was. Many online games are designed to be as addictive as crack to extract as much revenue as possible. Our kid is in the typical video gaming age, almost every kid of her age is stuck in Roblox and some in Fortnite. Setting limits helps, but more broadly, games that require a monthly subscriptions or buying in-game currency should just be outright forbidden for anyone under 16 or 18. Yes, kids need to learn to recognize and suppress abusive patterns, but these addictive games, together with social media, and Youtube Shorts is destroying their mental health and normal, healthy exploration of the world. I think parents are also failing in general. It's insane how many use tablets as a pacifier, some give 2 year-olds an iPad to play with. Or setting bad examples like using phones themselves at the dinner table.
  - grvdrm 8mo ago
    I’m a parent. Girls 7 and 4. I think you’re right about a number of parent habits. Hard to impose a device limit on a kid if that kid watches you use your device constantly. I’m not some hero here - constantly reminding myself to be aware. Now, I think imposing limits in the open world is a specific challenge. To your point, you’ll see kids at restaurants on iPads. Well, now your kid wants iPad. You don’t give it? They start a shitstorm. I don’t think an outright device ban is so critical. But limits are important, and even more important is sticking to what you said you would do as a parent. With mine, they sense that moment of giving and almost instinctually rush to exploit. That said, flexibility is important too - knowing when you use it. As for game, I set a rule on an iPad. No games with ads. Those seem to be the worst of them, and there are tons.
    - alphawhisky 8mo ago
      Kudos dad/mom, that's a hard job. I feel like getting them exposed to technology and the dopamine generator that is games as a younger kid can help you teach more lessons around managing habits that can become maladaptive. Our world is increasingly engineered for addiction, and having conversations about self control starting young can help develop maturity. I know plenty of friends (2001 baby) that did not have access to internet/games until the 8th grade when the school provided laptops, and they STRUGGLED to handle the intensity of that distraction because they were never exposed and weren't taught healthy habits around technology. Exposure therapy is a great way to manage that.
- warmedcookie 8mo ago
  We set time limits on tablet and rules like getting your homework done first, but my 9 year old specifically begs me to let him have Roblox, which I think he is too young to play. I told him he can play it, but he has to beat Chrono Trigger (tablet version) first. He didn't even get to the county fair and gave up, saying it was too boring, the nerve!
- MarsIronPI 8mo ago
  Anecdote here: I was given a computer at age 4, and I didn't really have any limits on how long I could use it. On the other hand, I wasn't allowed to register any accounts and I had to ask before visiting sites I had never been to before. >75% of my time on the computer at that age was spent on hacking with Scratch. I learned a lot and developed my love of computers at that age. I'm absolutely glad that I didn't have "screen time", but I can also see that if I didn't have the limits I did I could have ended up pretty badly.
- kyriakos 8mo ago
  The computer games I used to play are nothing like the stuff my son is playing. Its not just a matter of how much time is spent. They are the same as social media, engineered for maximum engagement, contain ads or try to sell you something .
- tracker1 8mo ago
  I know I had a pretty bad overuse of TV as a kid.. that said, my mom's restriction of an hour a day was a bit too restrictive imo, didn't last long though, because hanging out in the livingroom in the evenings was kind of a given, even if I didn't get to choose what was on...
bstsb 8mo ago
playing Roblox got me into game development, and helped to teach me the basics of general programming. i did have previous experience from Python etc, but Roblox gave me a breeding ground for actually doing something with those skills.
butILoveLife 8mo ago
Best to be playing with acceleration than to be problem solving on video games... rightttttt

otherme123 8mo ago

I have heard a number of parents saying their kids are "good behaved" when they are silently glued to a screen, while roaming outside, making noise and playing are bad behaviours, specially when they break things or get a bruise.

CrzyLngPwd 8mo ago
Worse still, they are so well-behaved, with their tablet and headphones on, watching YouTube or playing games.
- grvdrm 8mo ago
  My nephew (8) has a VR headset. Doh.

Brybry 8mo ago

I think a fair number of us here got into computers because of playing computer games as kids. The issue is setting limits. Now obviously banning is easier and lower friction but limiting to an X time per day routine can also help with self-discipline. Depends on the person. Kids can have the same issue with TV. I had an issue as a kid with books. My parents had to limit my reading time because I would stay up all night under my covers with a flashlight reading.

fhennig 8mo ago
I agree with the 'setting limits' bit. But also maybe the parent post and you refer to kids of different ages? I didn't have access to a computer until I was 9, and then also we didn't have tables and smartphones, so there computer was only available at home as well. I think below a certain age the limit is fine to be set as 'not at all'.
microtonal 8mo ago
There is a big difference between games now and games then. E.g. an SNES game was made to be fun, but not to be intentionally addictive, you would never buy a new game if it was. Many online games are designed to be as addictive as crack to extract as much revenue as possible. Our kid is in the typical video gaming age, almost every kid of her age is stuck in Roblox and some in Fortnite. Setting limits helps, but more broadly, games that require a monthly subscriptions or buying in-game currency should just be outright forbidden for anyone under 16 or 18. Yes, kids need to learn to recognize and suppress abusive patterns, but these addictive games, together with social media, and Youtube Shorts is destroying their mental health and normal, healthy exploration of the world. I think parents are also failing in general. It's insane how many use tablets as a pacifier, some give 2 year-olds an iPad to play with. Or setting bad examples like using phones themselves at the dinner table.
- grvdrm 8mo ago
  I’m a parent. Girls 7 and 4. I think you’re right about a number of parent habits. Hard to impose a device limit on a kid if that kid watches you use your device constantly. I’m not some hero here - constantly reminding myself to be aware. Now, I think imposing limits in the open world is a specific challenge. To your point, you’ll see kids at restaurants on iPads. Well, now your kid wants iPad. You don’t give it? They start a shitstorm. I don’t think an outright device ban is so critical. But limits are important, and even more important is sticking to what you said you would do as a parent. With mine, they sense that moment of giving and almost instinctually rush to exploit. That said, flexibility is important too - knowing when you use it. As for game, I set a rule on an iPad. No games with ads. Those seem to be the worst of them, and there are tons.
  - alphawhisky 8mo ago
    Kudos dad/mom, that's a hard job. I feel like getting them exposed to technology and the dopamine generator that is games as a younger kid can help you teach more lessons around managing habits that can become maladaptive. Our world is increasingly engineered for addiction, and having conversations about self control starting young can help develop maturity. I know plenty of friends (2001 baby) that did not have access to internet/games until the 8th grade when the school provided laptops, and they STRUGGLED to handle the intensity of that distraction because they were never exposed and weren't taught healthy habits around technology. Exposure therapy is a great way to manage that.
warmedcookie 8mo ago
We set time limits on tablet and rules like getting your homework done first, but my 9 year old specifically begs me to let him have Roblox, which I think he is too young to play. I told him he can play it, but he has to beat Chrono Trigger (tablet version) first. He didn't even get to the county fair and gave up, saying it was too boring, the nerve!
MarsIronPI 8mo ago
Anecdote here: I was given a computer at age 4, and I didn't really have any limits on how long I could use it. On the other hand, I wasn't allowed to register any accounts and I had to ask before visiting sites I had never been to before. >75% of my time on the computer at that age was spent on hacking with Scratch. I learned a lot and developed my love of computers at that age. I'm absolutely glad that I didn't have "screen time", but I can also see that if I didn't have the limits I did I could have ended up pretty badly.
kyriakos 8mo ago
The computer games I used to play are nothing like the stuff my son is playing. Its not just a matter of how much time is spent. They are the same as social media, engineered for maximum engagement, contain ads or try to sell you something .
tracker1 8mo ago
I know I had a pretty bad overuse of TV as a kid.. that said, my mom's restriction of an hour a day was a bit too restrictive imo, didn't last long though, because hanging out in the livingroom in the evenings was kind of a given, even if I didn't get to choose what was on...

bstsb 8mo ago

playing Roblox got me into game development, and helped to teach me the basics of general programming. i did have previous experience from Python etc, but Roblox gave me a breeding ground for actually doing something with those skills.

butILoveLife 8mo ago

Best to be playing with acceleration than to be problem solving on video games... rightttttt