5 ms·

I'm a 29-year old male who spent his 20s building a career I love and now has a 6-month old daughter, so this quote: > Don't waste your 20's "building a career

I'm a 29-year old male who spent his 20s building a career I love and now has a 6-month old daughter, so this quote: > Don't waste your 20's "building a career". You've got your 30's and 40's and 50's to do that. Don't be in a rush to have kids too soon. Doesn't really make sense to me. If you don't build a career and finances in your 20s, you either can't afford to have a kid in your early 30s or you have one and can't provide the life and opportunities they should have. And it seems you skipped over the part about women having extreme difficulties having children later than their mid-30s, or the children they have are at a higher risk of birth defects and miscarriages. Typically, a guy by himself cannot create a child without a woman, so if you're going to party in your 20s and not think about finances and a career until your 30s, and kids later than that, you should know going in that your partner will be need to be much younger than you to accomplish this. I don't mean to ask personal questions here, but it seems apropos considering your guidance: how old are you? do you have a spouse? a son or daughter? Does your guidance match up with how you've lived your life, and are you now successfully balancing a budding career and family in your older years after living your 20s in various countries like China, France, Brazil and others?

enraged_camel 14y ago
Pretty much. People need to start thinking about their career the moment they get their first job. This means planning out what kinds of skills they need to pick up to advance, opening a retirement account and putting as much money they can into it (compound interest), and never take anything for granted. Those who don't do these things in their 20s are basically going to be 10 years behind everyone who did.
- genwin 14y ago
  Compound interest at < 1% isn't going to make much difference over a decade. At > 1% risks losing principal, and inflation is probably > 1% now anyway, so that you lose money on savings. Money spent (rather than invested) in one's 20s offers greater opportunity for enjoyment than when in your 60s, when your choices are more limited, if you even reach your 60s. A balanced approach is best.
  - donaldc 14y ago
    Money spent (rather than invested) in one's 20s offers greater opportunity for enjoyment than when in your 60s, when your choices are more limited Would you care to elaborate on this? I don't (yet) have first-hand experience with being in my 60's, but I did watch my parents spend money to their great enjoyment after they retired in their 60's.
    - philbarr 14y ago
      Exactly, my parents are in their 60's and both retired and are having a bloody great time. Golf, fast cars, lots of holidays, they're loving it.
    - genwin 14y ago
      Good for them. There's still more opportunity for enjoyment for younger folk, though. Even if a 60-something manages to do the same activity, like snowboarding, it's going to be done in a less youthful body. It's a big waste for 20-somethings to overly focus on their career in that decade, unless work is what they most enjoy.
  - enraged_camel 14y ago
    >>Compound interest at < 1% isn't going to make much difference over a decade. Huh? I'm not talking about a savings account here brother. I'm talking about retirement investment accounts like 401k and IRAs. In their 20s, the majority of those investments should be in stocks, which on average gain 9-10% per year. The compound interest on that is humongous.
    - genwin 14y ago
      Stocks don't average 9-10% per year, not anymore. Since the Dow was at 10K in 1999, the Dow has averaged 2.1% per year, with great volatility (ups/downs). Including dividends, maybe 4%. The gov't has fueled that relatively anemic growth with massive unsustainable borrowing and raping of the environment, so the past is definitely not an indicator of future performance.
randomdata 14y ago
are at a higher risk of birth defects From everything I have read, the risk doubles. That may sound like a big deal, but quoting from memory, it doubles from a 0.5% chance to a 1% chance, which is still exceedingly low odds. I'm not sure that risk alone is enough to warrant holding back on having children later in life.
- flyosity 14y ago
  I know two couples who waited till their mid-30s to have children and after various miscarriages they both delivered boys with Down Syndrome, so was that worth partying in their 20s? No.
  - akie 14y ago
    Not everyone who has kids in their mid-30s gets a kid with Down syndrome, and not everyone who has kids in their mid-30s does so because they were partying.
  - hyperbovine 14y ago
    In whose opinion? It may shock you to learn that parents of children with down-syndrome frequently do not view it as the life-ruining event you make it out to be.
- usaar333 14y ago
  I assume you mean from 35 to 40? The odds jump from 0.5% to 1% for Down Syndrome specifically; risk of any birth defect would be higher. That said, the bigger issue is infertility, which increases by 20%: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility
  - randomdata 14y ago
    Thanks for pointing that out. That may be what I remembered. What are the statistics for general defects between the two groups?
akie 14y ago
In my late twenties I spent three full years smoking weed everyday. I didn't build a career in my 20s, I just fucked around because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I smoked weed and partied. I had a long-term relationship in my 20s, but we broke up and at 30 I was single again. I was thoroughly lost. I slept on a friends couch for 5 months in a row. All in all, not a very bright future, right? Wrong! I'm 35 now, I quit my job & moved abroad, became an independent web developer, met a wonderful woman who's 5 months pregnant with our firstborn, I've been asked (!) to lead the development team of a highly rated startup and have been making more money than any of my peers for the last few years... So you know: things can change. It's not a strict requirement to spend your 20s all serious - even if you don't, you can still be successful.
- petercooper 14y ago
  One of Britain's wealthiest men had a similar experience in his 20s. He didn't get started or even have a bank account until he was 30: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Bannatyne http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Bannatyne
  - propercoil 14y ago
    relevent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2h_GIP019c http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2h_GIP019c
    - petercooper 14y ago
      Awesome! I've just posted this to HN in case it's interesting to anyone else.
kahawe 14y ago
I more or less just came into my 30s and I spent my 20s pretty much exclusively on computers, studying and working and playing. Computer were pretty much 95% of my life. Last time I changed job, I more than doubled my after-tax salary and I have not once had to go through the process of really applying; whenever I showed up to HR things were pretty much decided already in advance, they just had to keep up appearances. I have always been the guy everyone goes to for help, I have more than once fundamentally changed the way people work, think and approach problems for the better. Where I have worked for the last 5 to 7 years, I am pretty much the last line "of defense", so to speak... because every time something stopped working and I could not figure it out, it would go on taking the support team of one of the biggest names in IT literally a year trying to pinpoint the issue only to not being able to come up with a solution in the end. This is not meant to boast, I am working towards a point: So I would say my "career" is there... yet my personal life and emotional happiness is in complete ruins; while my age and point in career match at "30", emotionally and as a person, a human being, I feel like I am 12. I feel like I have completely wasted my 20s, I have never had a chance to actually grow up, I just worked on "career" which is what everyone told me to; the rest of the time I sedated myself with video games and food and otherwise spending the money I had made to numb down any and all bad feelings. I don't think I could ever get these 10 years back and grow into a strong minded, healthy human being now that the time is gone. Everyone at my age now is lightyears ahead of me both emotionally and in terms of experience and other skills. That is why from my own experience, I cannot imagine having the opposite "20s" to be ANY worse because at least if you "wasted" your 20s, at least then you had fun and had good moments to think back on and you matured as a human being but you got something out of those 10 years and your 30s are early enough to be working on "career" with all the skills and the strength you gathered by the experiences you made in your 20s. For me, now, I feel completely stuck and wasted, at a complete emotional and existential low point of no return. I have to try and use what little energy I have left to battle against all sorts of addictive behaviour and means of escape that I developed in those lonely, hard working 10 years. Whatever money I am making does not matter because I don't really get anything valuable and truly good from it. And even if I desperately tried to change now, I would have to invest all that energy while everyone else is free to use the same energy to lead a happy and fulfilled, enjoyable life. I just cannot win anymore. If I could do it over again, I would do nothing but drink, party, meet people, be BOLD and strong, teach myself more about computers and do all that in a foreign country and develop a personality before anything else. Go play in your 20s, everyone else is pushing you towards "career" anyway so at least you yourself need to take very good care of yourself as a human being and develop that side and make sure you get enough "play".

enraged_camel 14y ago

Pretty much. People need to start thinking about their career the moment they get their first job. This means planning out what kinds of skills they need to pick up to advance, opening a retirement account and putting as much money they can into it (compound interest), and never take anything for granted. Those who don't do these things in their 20s are basically going to be 10 years behind everyone who did.

genwin 14y ago
Compound interest at < 1% isn't going to make much difference over a decade. At > 1% risks losing principal, and inflation is probably > 1% now anyway, so that you lose money on savings. Money spent (rather than invested) in one's 20s offers greater opportunity for enjoyment than when in your 60s, when your choices are more limited, if you even reach your 60s. A balanced approach is best.
- donaldc 14y ago
  Money spent (rather than invested) in one's 20s offers greater opportunity for enjoyment than when in your 60s, when your choices are more limited Would you care to elaborate on this? I don't (yet) have first-hand experience with being in my 60's, but I did watch my parents spend money to their great enjoyment after they retired in their 60's.
  - philbarr 14y ago
    Exactly, my parents are in their 60's and both retired and are having a bloody great time. Golf, fast cars, lots of holidays, they're loving it.
  - genwin 14y ago
    Good for them. There's still more opportunity for enjoyment for younger folk, though. Even if a 60-something manages to do the same activity, like snowboarding, it's going to be done in a less youthful body. It's a big waste for 20-somethings to overly focus on their career in that decade, unless work is what they most enjoy.
- enraged_camel 14y ago
  >>Compound interest at < 1% isn't going to make much difference over a decade. Huh? I'm not talking about a savings account here brother. I'm talking about retirement investment accounts like 401k and IRAs. In their 20s, the majority of those investments should be in stocks, which on average gain 9-10% per year. The compound interest on that is humongous.
  - genwin 14y ago
    Stocks don't average 9-10% per year, not anymore. Since the Dow was at 10K in 1999, the Dow has averaged 2.1% per year, with great volatility (ups/downs). Including dividends, maybe 4%. The gov't has fueled that relatively anemic growth with massive unsustainable borrowing and raping of the environment, so the past is definitely not an indicator of future performance.

randomdata 14y ago

are at a higher risk of birth defects From everything I have read, the risk doubles. That may sound like a big deal, but quoting from memory, it doubles from a 0.5% chance to a 1% chance, which is still exceedingly low odds. I'm not sure that risk alone is enough to warrant holding back on having children later in life.

flyosity 14y ago
I know two couples who waited till their mid-30s to have children and after various miscarriages they both delivered boys with Down Syndrome, so was that worth partying in their 20s? No.
- akie 14y ago
  Not everyone who has kids in their mid-30s gets a kid with Down syndrome, and not everyone who has kids in their mid-30s does so because they were partying.
- hyperbovine 14y ago
  In whose opinion? It may shock you to learn that parents of children with down-syndrome frequently do not view it as the life-ruining event you make it out to be.
usaar333 14y ago
I assume you mean from 35 to 40? The odds jump from 0.5% to 1% for Down Syndrome specifically; risk of any birth defect would be higher. That said, the bigger issue is infertility, which increases by 20%: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility
- randomdata 14y ago
  Thanks for pointing that out. That may be what I remembered. What are the statistics for general defects between the two groups?

akie 14y ago

In my late twenties I spent three full years smoking weed everyday. I didn't build a career in my 20s, I just fucked around because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I smoked weed and partied. I had a long-term relationship in my 20s, but we broke up and at 30 I was single again. I was thoroughly lost. I slept on a friends couch for 5 months in a row. All in all, not a very bright future, right? Wrong! I'm 35 now, I quit my job & moved abroad, became an independent web developer, met a wonderful woman who's 5 months pregnant with our firstborn, I've been asked (!) to lead the development team of a highly rated startup and have been making more money than any of my peers for the last few years... So you know: things can change. It's not a strict requirement to spend your 20s all serious - even if you don't, you can still be successful.

petercooper 14y ago
One of Britain's wealthiest men had a similar experience in his 20s. He didn't get started or even have a bank account until he was 30: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Bannatyne http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Bannatyne
- propercoil 14y ago
  relevent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2h_GIP019c http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2h_GIP019c
  - petercooper 14y ago
    Awesome! I've just posted this to HN in case it's interesting to anyone else.

kahawe 14y ago

I more or less just came into my 30s and I spent my 20s pretty much exclusively on computers, studying and working and playing. Computer were pretty much 95% of my life. Last time I changed job, I more than doubled my after-tax salary and I have not once had to go through the process of really applying; whenever I showed up to HR things were pretty much decided already in advance, they just had to keep up appearances. I have always been the guy everyone goes to for help, I have more than once fundamentally changed the way people work, think and approach problems for the better. Where I have worked for the last 5 to 7 years, I am pretty much the last line "of defense", so to speak... because every time something stopped working and I could not figure it out, it would go on taking the support team of one of the biggest names in IT literally a year trying to pinpoint the issue only to not being able to come up with a solution in the end. This is not meant to boast, I am working towards a point: So I would say my "career" is there... yet my personal life and emotional happiness is in complete ruins; while my age and point in career match at "30", emotionally and as a person, a human being, I feel like I am 12. I feel like I have completely wasted my 20s, I have never had a chance to actually grow up, I just worked on "career" which is what everyone told me to; the rest of the time I sedated myself with video games and food and otherwise spending the money I had made to numb down any and all bad feelings. I don't think I could ever get these 10 years back and grow into a strong minded, healthy human being now that the time is gone. Everyone at my age now is lightyears ahead of me both emotionally and in terms of experience and other skills. That is why from my own experience, I cannot imagine having the opposite "20s" to be ANY worse because at least if you "wasted" your 20s, at least then you had fun and had good moments to think back on and you matured as a human being but you got something out of those 10 years and your 30s are early enough to be working on "career" with all the skills and the strength you gathered by the experiences you made in your 20s. For me, now, I feel completely stuck and wasted, at a complete emotional and existential low point of no return. I have to try and use what little energy I have left to battle against all sorts of addictive behaviour and means of escape that I developed in those lonely, hard working 10 years. Whatever money I am making does not matter because I don't really get anything valuable and truly good from it. And even if I desperately tried to change now, I would have to invest all that energy while everyone else is free to use the same energy to lead a happy and fulfilled, enjoyable life. I just cannot win anymore. If I could do it over again, I would do nothing but drink, party, meet people, be BOLD and strong, teach myself more about computers and do all that in a foreign country and develop a personality before anything else. Go play in your 20s, everyone else is pushing you towards "career" anyway so at least you yourself need to take very good care of yourself as a human being and develop that side and make sure you get enough "play".