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I've had a saying recently. I'm making a lot of sacrifices in my 20's so that I'm established and ready to start a family in my 30's.

genwin 14y ago
Hopefully not too many sacrifices though. Life should be about much more than creating new life. The 20s is the time to focus on yourself.
- nsxwolf 14y ago
  Unless you are female. There really is such thing as a biological clock. edit: Before I get downvoted, insert "... and want children"
  - marquis 14y ago
    Having children when you're young is a good idea primarily because kids are exhausting, and take up a LOT of time. Have them as young as you're able and wanting to do so: nothing to do with your gender. Men have fertility issues as they age also.
    - guylhem 14y ago
      If you can make a resource by yourself, outsource- in this case, adopt. It will make some of the exhaustion go away, since it seems to be due to diverging circadian rythms between a newborn and an adult. A say 4 years old kid would logically be less exhausting to raise. Also, if the kid is adopted, it also removes fertility issues concerns. Strike 2 birds with 1 stone!
      - marquis 14y ago
        I wish I could agree but a) 4 years old are just as exhausting (the first year is actually the easiest in terms of time you have available) and b) adoption is increasingly more difficult. I have friends who just adopted a baby after 5 years of tests and checks and more checks. Foster care is another option, it's easier to 'sign up' and you can get school-age kids, who need just as much help as an adopted kid.
        guylhem 14y ago
        Interesting - when does the exhaustion function reaches a maximum ? I thought it was the hardest in the first 4 years. (regarding the difficulties of adoption, they could be compared to the outsourcing cost :-/ foster care is a great idea, but may not work for people who want to have "their" kids)
        marquis 14y ago
        To put it simply: exhaustion becomes superseded, or exchanged in kind, by fun as kids gain more ability to communicate and comprehend the world around them. It's up to you as the parent to decide what is fun and what's not: an engaged parent is going find almost anything fun when their kids are involved and equally engaged, tantrums aside!
- glhaynes 14y ago
  Everybody should get to choose what to make their life "about"; life is so varied, it's hard for me to take seriously any pronouncements about what a certain specific segment should be about.
dclusin 14y ago
Same here. I would add that one of the things I'm pretty careful not to sacrifice is interpersonal (and as a corollary emotional) development. These things play a huge part in your ability to raise children that grow up to become well adjusted and successful young people. I try to be mindful of this when weighing whether or not to put in another weekend/evening coding.

genwin 14y ago

Hopefully not too many sacrifices though. Life should be about much more than creating new life. The 20s is the time to focus on yourself.

nsxwolf 14y ago
Unless you are female. There really is such thing as a biological clock. edit: Before I get downvoted, insert "... and want children"
- marquis 14y ago
  Having children when you're young is a good idea primarily because kids are exhausting, and take up a LOT of time. Have them as young as you're able and wanting to do so: nothing to do with your gender. Men have fertility issues as they age also.
  - guylhem 14y ago
    If you can make a resource by yourself, outsource- in this case, adopt. It will make some of the exhaustion go away, since it seems to be due to diverging circadian rythms between a newborn and an adult. A say 4 years old kid would logically be less exhausting to raise. Also, if the kid is adopted, it also removes fertility issues concerns. Strike 2 birds with 1 stone!
    - marquis 14y ago
      I wish I could agree but a) 4 years old are just as exhausting (the first year is actually the easiest in terms of time you have available) and b) adoption is increasingly more difficult. I have friends who just adopted a baby after 5 years of tests and checks and more checks. Foster care is another option, it's easier to 'sign up' and you can get school-age kids, who need just as much help as an adopted kid.
      - guylhem 14y ago
        Interesting - when does the exhaustion function reaches a maximum ? I thought it was the hardest in the first 4 years. (regarding the difficulties of adoption, they could be compared to the outsourcing cost :-/ foster care is a great idea, but may not work for people who want to have "their" kids)
        marquis 14y ago
        To put it simply: exhaustion becomes superseded, or exchanged in kind, by fun as kids gain more ability to communicate and comprehend the world around them. It's up to you as the parent to decide what is fun and what's not: an engaged parent is going find almost anything fun when their kids are involved and equally engaged, tantrums aside!
glhaynes 14y ago
Everybody should get to choose what to make their life "about"; life is so varied, it's hard for me to take seriously any pronouncements about what a certain specific segment should be about.

dclusin 14y ago

Same here. I would add that one of the things I'm pretty careful not to sacrifice is interpersonal (and as a corollary emotional) development. These things play a huge part in your ability to raise children that grow up to become well adjusted and successful young people. I try to be mindful of this when weighing whether or not to put in another weekend/evening coding.