Can anyone explain loop quantum gravity to lazy programmers with a simple, impractical Python or Haskell program computing a spectrum of amplitudes for spin net

Can anyone explain loop quantum gravity to lazy programmers with a simple, impractical Python or Haskell program computing a spectrum of amplitudes for spin networks? (Or whatever the theory actually gives you, which I'm not really clear on.) The closest I found poking around on Wikipedia was http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spin_foam http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spin_foam (Maybe it is clear from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loop_quantum_gravity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loop_quantum_gravity for someone who knows more math.)