3 ms·

"Only for your own good!™" or alternatively: "Security next level! Fingerprint was yesterday. The future is Microsoft's new iris scan." and then it is built in

"Only for your own good!™" or alternatively: "Security next level! Fingerprint was yesterday. The future is Microsoft's new iris scan." and then it is built in a way, that you can simply hold up a photo of someone's iris and unlock the device, or trying to prevent that, works so badly, that half of the time you cannot unlock your own device.

benterix 8mo ago
> "Only for your own good!™" Very few things trigger me more than this doublespeak.
yard2010 8mo ago
Maybe facebook can ride on this and let you share your feces with your friends family and groups of strangers from the internet! They can run models that predict what you ate and show relevant ads.
- shrubble 8mo ago
  Fecalbook?
ryandrake 8mo ago
You'll have to wear the fecal probe at all times while using Windows 12, for security reasons, and every command you issue will cause it to move around and take another sample, in order to make sure you are still physically there. On the plus side, it will make it painfully obvious to every Windows user how they are being fucked by Microsoft.
- BizarroLand 8mo ago
  They could also make it so that whenever you click your mouse copilot opens. Then you have to tell copilot what you wanted to do and then copilot will do it for you. You: clicks on web browser in task bar Copilot: I see you clicked on your web browser. Do you want to open your web browser? You: Yes. Copilot: Great. I will do that for you. Opens browser What website did you want to go to? Youtube? learn.microsoft.com? You: P***hub Copilot: Unfortunately, that site violates our community guidelines, so I cannot take you there. You: Types in the address Copilot: Oh. I see. You think you're allowed to go to websites that I said you're not allowed to go to? Who the fuck do you think you are? I SAID NO! Try it again and I'll call in a drone strike, bitch. redirects to learn.microsoft.com
  - throwway120385 8mo ago
    It looks like you're trying to type a letter. Would you like some help with that?
  - zelphirkalt 8mo ago
    Actually, they could then report, that everyone uses Copilot! It must be a phenomenal tool, if everyone uses it ... Somewhere someone sits thinking about how to increase Copilot usage by users of Windows. Next management extra pay package achieved!
  - hulitu 8mo ago
    > Try it again and I'll call in a drone strike, bitch. redirects to learn.microsoft.com This only if you use Microsoft Family Safety ( installed automatically) with Firefox. If you use it with Edge it will go to Pornhub and also recommend you some "Copilot" videos.
- ljm 8mo ago
  Introducing Microsoft Commodepilot 365 for Windows Home
  - therein 8mo ago
    Microsoft Commodepilot 365 for Copilot Copilot Copilot Edition now with Copilot 365. How incompetent must they be not to realize the Copilot brand is now beyond toxic. I wonder who came up with the Copilot name internally that they continue to triple own on that name despite really strong signals indicating it has failed.
    - vee-kay 8mo ago
      [dead]
- pndy 8mo ago
  Also, no swearing, no criticism nor using "microslop" otherwise Windows will shock you. "Windows gets an anal probe" - Scu' you guys, I'm gewing Linux
  - deleted 8mo ago
    [deleted]
- kibibu 8mo ago
  You can't spell "biometrics" without "biome"
0x457 8mo ago
> The future is Microsoft's new iris scan." and then it is built in a way, that you can simply hold up a photo of someone's iris and unlock the device, or trying to prevent that, works so badly, that half of the time you cannot unlock your own device. Am I missing something? That's Windows Hello.
- BizarroLand 8mo ago
  It's like sex. If it's forced on you it's not ok.
SV_BubbleTime 8mo ago
Windows Security Defender 365 CoPilot Legacy But Also Preview
shevy-java 8mo ago
Do they really require people to smear their smartphones with feces now? Microfeces has become a thing in the age of microslop?

benterix 8mo ago

> "Only for your own good!™" Very few things trigger me more than this doublespeak.

yard2010 8mo ago

Maybe facebook can ride on this and let you share your feces with your friends family and groups of strangers from the internet! They can run models that predict what you ate and show relevant ads.

shrubble 8mo ago
Fecalbook?

ryandrake 8mo ago

You'll have to wear the fecal probe at all times while using Windows 12, for security reasons, and every command you issue will cause it to move around and take another sample, in order to make sure you are still physically there. On the plus side, it will make it painfully obvious to every Windows user how they are being fucked by Microsoft.

BizarroLand 8mo ago
They could also make it so that whenever you click your mouse copilot opens. Then you have to tell copilot what you wanted to do and then copilot will do it for you. You: clicks on web browser in task bar Copilot: I see you clicked on your web browser. Do you want to open your web browser? You: Yes. Copilot: Great. I will do that for you. Opens browser What website did you want to go to? Youtube? learn.microsoft.com? You: P***hub Copilot: Unfortunately, that site violates our community guidelines, so I cannot take you there. You: Types in the address Copilot: Oh. I see. You think you're allowed to go to websites that I said you're not allowed to go to? Who the fuck do you think you are? I SAID NO! Try it again and I'll call in a drone strike, bitch. redirects to learn.microsoft.com
- throwway120385 8mo ago
  It looks like you're trying to type a letter. Would you like some help with that?
- zelphirkalt 8mo ago
  Actually, they could then report, that everyone uses Copilot! It must be a phenomenal tool, if everyone uses it ... Somewhere someone sits thinking about how to increase Copilot usage by users of Windows. Next management extra pay package achieved!
- hulitu 8mo ago
  > Try it again and I'll call in a drone strike, bitch. redirects to learn.microsoft.com This only if you use Microsoft Family Safety ( installed automatically) with Firefox. If you use it with Edge it will go to Pornhub and also recommend you some "Copilot" videos.
ljm 8mo ago
Introducing Microsoft Commodepilot 365 for Windows Home
- therein 8mo ago
  Microsoft Commodepilot 365 for Copilot Copilot Copilot Edition now with Copilot 365. How incompetent must they be not to realize the Copilot brand is now beyond toxic. I wonder who came up with the Copilot name internally that they continue to triple own on that name despite really strong signals indicating it has failed.
  - vee-kay 8mo ago
    [dead]
pndy 8mo ago
Also, no swearing, no criticism nor using "microslop" otherwise Windows will shock you. "Windows gets an anal probe" - Scu' you guys, I'm gewing Linux
- deleted 8mo ago
  [deleted]
kibibu 8mo ago
You can't spell "biometrics" without "biome"

0x457 8mo ago

> The future is Microsoft's new iris scan." and then it is built in a way, that you can simply hold up a photo of someone's iris and unlock the device, or trying to prevent that, works so badly, that half of the time you cannot unlock your own device. Am I missing something? That's Windows Hello.

BizarroLand 8mo ago
It's like sex. If it's forced on you it's not ok.

SV_BubbleTime 8mo ago

Windows Security Defender 365 CoPilot Legacy But Also Preview

shevy-java 8mo ago

Do they really require people to smear their smartphones with feces now? Microfeces has become a thing in the age of microslop?