4 ms·

Do you get bothered when someone talks to you in a nice fashion?

by baxtr 8mo ago

rootusrootus 8mo ago
Not the guy you asked, but my answer is: only if they are panhandling. Otherwise I usually feel a little surprised that someone would have any interest in my thoughts. So I feel a bit tickled if they have genuine interest.
leonflexo 8mo ago
If the answer is, "of course not". Pull that thread. Honestly, so much "therapy" for some of us boils down to confronting/examining that disconnect and exploring why it exists/how it came to be.
- baxtr 8mo ago
  Thanks for completing my comment :)
  - deleted 8mo ago
    [deleted]
singpolyma3 8mo ago
Yes
- baxtr 8mo ago
  Interesting. How come?
  - singpolyma3 8mo ago
    Because I'm busy inside of my own head and they interrupted my flow.
    - baxtr 8mo ago
      Fair enough! It's definitely annoying to be forced out of your context
deanmoriarty 8mo ago
I genuinely get bothered when someone talks to me. I am typically rushing through my day to do stuff, whether it is hiking, grocery shopping, working out, or going to the restroom at work, and getting interrupted feels to me like getting an unwanted push notification on your phone. When someone occasionally engages, I extremely quickly dismiss them in the most polite, but firm, way possible. I also intentionally keep a demeanor that generally signals I’m not open to random conversations (I avoid eye contact etc.), but that often doesn’t work. At the gym it is particularly problematic, I’m focusing on gathering strength for my next set and sometimes people bother you even if I am wearing headphones. I truly do not have a problem with who I am, I’m comfortable in my shoes. As such, never in a million years I would approach a stranger to strike up a conversation, it would seem an incredibly rude thing to do towards them, on top of clearly not having any desire to engage from my side. I’ll talk for hours straight to my wife, close family and the very few friends I have though!
- cdrini 8mo ago
  > I extremely quickly dismiss them in the most polite, but firm, way possible. And I think that's the answer; people who don't want to talk will simply tell you! And everyone carries on.
  - deleted 8mo ago
    [deleted]
  - jibal 8mo ago
    But they said it's rude just to speak to them ... which is a factually erroneous characterization.
- setsewerd 8mo ago
  Fascinating how much this varies by culture too. People generally have attitudes similar to you in Nordic countries, or even Seattle, but then you go to South American countries, or India, and it feels like everyone talks to everyone all the time.
  - 8mo ago
deleted 8mo ago
[deleted]
mh2266 8mo ago
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/introvert https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/introvert
- lkbm 8mo ago
  Introvert does not mean "doesn't like talking to people".
7bit 8mo ago
I do. Unless you're an attractive women, just leave me alone.
- jcattle 8mo ago
  Hahaha, oh boy.

Do you get bothered when someone talks to you in a nice fashion?

by baxtr 8mo ago

Do you get bothered when someone talks to you in a nice fashion?

Not the guy you asked, but my answer is: only if they are panhandling. Otherwise I usually feel a little surprised that someone would have any interest in my thoughts. So I feel a bit tickled if they have genuine interest.

leonflexo 8mo ago

If the answer is, "of course not". Pull that thread. Honestly, so much "therapy" for some of us boils down to confronting/examining that disconnect and exploring why it exists/how it came to be.

baxtr 8mo ago
Thanks for completing my comment :)
- deleted 8mo ago
  [deleted]

singpolyma3 8mo ago

Yes

baxtr 8mo ago
Interesting. How come?
- singpolyma3 8mo ago
  Because I'm busy inside of my own head and they interrupted my flow.
  - baxtr 8mo ago
    Fair enough! It's definitely annoying to be forced out of your context

deanmoriarty 8mo ago

I genuinely get bothered when someone talks to me. I am typically rushing through my day to do stuff, whether it is hiking, grocery shopping, working out, or going to the restroom at work, and getting interrupted feels to me like getting an unwanted push notification on your phone. When someone occasionally engages, I extremely quickly dismiss them in the most polite, but firm, way possible. I also intentionally keep a demeanor that generally signals I’m not open to random conversations (I avoid eye contact etc.), but that often doesn’t work. At the gym it is particularly problematic, I’m focusing on gathering strength for my next set and sometimes people bother you even if I am wearing headphones. I truly do not have a problem with who I am, I’m comfortable in my shoes. As such, never in a million years I would approach a stranger to strike up a conversation, it would seem an incredibly rude thing to do towards them, on top of clearly not having any desire to engage from my side. I’ll talk for hours straight to my wife, close family and the very few friends I have though!

cdrini 8mo ago
> I extremely quickly dismiss them in the most polite, but firm, way possible. And I think that's the answer; people who don't want to talk will simply tell you! And everyone carries on.
- deleted 8mo ago
  [deleted]
- jibal 8mo ago
  But they said it's rude just to speak to them ... which is a factually erroneous characterization.
setsewerd 8mo ago
Fascinating how much this varies by culture too. People generally have attitudes similar to you in Nordic countries, or even Seattle, but then you go to South American countries, or India, and it feels like everyone talks to everyone all the time.
- 8mo ago

deleted 8mo ago

[deleted]

mh2266 8mo ago

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/introvert https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/introvert

lkbm 8mo ago
Introvert does not mean "doesn't like talking to people".

7bit 8mo ago

I do. Unless you're an attractive women, just leave me alone.

jcattle 8mo ago
Hahaha, oh boy.