4 ms·

I'm a parent in my 50's. "Peak Facebook" is years in the past for me. But it was great for a while. My spouse, friends, friends' spouses, and I were all shar

I'm a parent in my 50's. "Peak Facebook" is years in the past for me. But it was great for a while. My spouse, friends, friends' spouses, and I were all sharing stories and pictures of our kids, travels, and experiences, such as dining experiences or hikes. There was so much joyous sharing. And it wasn't done for clicks, views, or monetization. It was just friends, sharing their experiences, encouraging each other, etc. It all just went away, starting with the husbands.

0x1ch 8mo ago
[flagged]
- jtbaker 8mo ago
  I think it's more like the husbands left the platform first.
  - HoldOnAMinute 8mo ago
    Yes
- _dain_ 8mo ago
  The implication is that they got divorced.
  - HoldOnAMinute 8mo ago
    Not always
  - wincy 8mo ago
    My wife still uses Facebook sometimes but I have it blocked on my phone and laptop, I’d have to get on my desktop to even check it.
- dtauzell 8mo ago
  Probably mean that their husbands were the first to quit Facebook.
  - HoldOnAMinute 8mo ago
    Yes
- 0x1ch 8mo ago
  [flagged]
  - zadikian 8mo ago
    Is there a problem with my name being green?
    - 0x1ch 8mo ago
      New user. To see replies THAT fast on a new user reply which generally isn't pushed to the top of the feed, I find that very interesting.
      - zadikian 8mo ago
        Idk. It was at the top for me, so I saw it.
    - nobody9999 8mo ago
      >Is there a problem with my name being green? Not as such, no. However, new accounts (which show up as green) tend to get less attention and more downvotes. When I first joined that annoyed and confused me, but after a while (when my name was no longer green), folks seemed more accepting of my comments and submissions. As the eminent philosopher opined, "It Ain't Easy Being Green"[0]. Although I believe their ruminations predate HN. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng
da02 8mo ago
What do your social groups use nowadays?
- wincy 8mo ago
  Similar experience for me and it’s just been replaced with… nothing. My gaming buddies talk on Discord but I just don’t really hear from my aunts and uncles and cousins anymore. It’d be a hassle to even figure out how to contact them. Only 13 people showed up to my high school reunion last year from a graduating class of ~400.
  - zadikian 8mo ago
    Same. Idk how college communication work now; we had class groups and planned everything over FB events/pages back then. For friends, I started a few text group chats to stay in touch. It's really annoying because someone has Android and RCS is broken on someone's end. Some also use FB Messenger, but nobody 2 years younger or older than me is on that.
    - Mixtape 8mo ago
      When I finished my undergrad a few years ago, we were relying heavily on GroupMe chats, with the occasional Slack and one or two LinkedIn groups mixed in. Discord was just starting to exit the gaming sphere and hit the mainstream though. I'm willing to bet it's absolutely dominating the space now.
      - zadikian 8mo ago
        How long ago was that if you don't mind me asking? I was in college 2014-2016, and GroupMe existed but was on its way out. I asked our college interns around 2022 what people use for class groups, and I think they weren't sure what I even meant, but the answer wasn't Discord.
        Mixtape 8mo ago
        2019-23. It's worth noting that GroupMe sticking around was honestly probably a byproduct of my own circles and the specific campus culture to a certain extent.
catlover76 8mo ago
[dead]
sparky_z 8mo ago
> It all just went away, starting with the husbands. I honestly can't tell whether I'm supposed to interpret this as "The dads lost interest in Facebook before anyone else", or "Everybody got divorced."
- RobinL 8mo ago
  Or possibly 'men find the algorithmic/consumption based platforms relatively more appealing' and so were quicker to leave
- bentcorner 8mo ago
  Personally I stopped using Facebook because even in the before-AI days it started becoming a glamour photo book of everyone you ever knew (and probably lots of people you only kind of sorta know), and while people certainly deserve to do and see great things, seeing it all shoved in your face every day becomes exhausting in a keeping-up-with-the-joneses kind of way. I totally get that not everybody is like that, but I am, and so I stopped going to Facebook. These days I'm in private Whatsapp groups for my direct family and so I learn about what they do, and not the random stuff that my neighbors and 20-years-past classmates did. My wife is still active on Facebook and I actually do still visit occasionally to boost her posts but that's about it.
  - dividefuel 8mo ago
    I agree with this a lot. In the late 2000s, which for me was when I was about 20, posts were very throwaway and low effort -- in a good way! You never really knew what you'd see when you logged in. Photos of stupid things or silly status updates, etc. Over the next five years though, content gradually shifted to mainly image crafting. Over-processed photos, highlight reel curated trip photos, major life updates, etc. It felt like the bar was higher on what people would share, but unfortunately that removed a lot of the things that made FB fun in the first place. I don't know whether it was a more universal shift or whether it had more to do with the age of my peers.
- 98codes 8mo ago
  I'm a dad that stopped using facebook when I got divorced, so there's a bit of anecdata for you
drnick1 8mo ago
> There was so much joyous sharing. And it wasn't done for clicks, views, or monetization. All along, Meta was vacuuming that data to build profiles of you, your family and friends, to be sold to third parties. You have been duped.
Hnrobert42 8mo ago
What do you mean it all just went away starting with the husbands? Like people drifted away from the platform? Husbands started drifting away from it first?
12_throw_away 8mo ago
> There was so much joyous sharing. I'm sorry, but describing using a social advertising network as "joyous sharing" is blowing my mind. This is, like, what marketing people think normal people talk like.
- b65e8bee43c2ed0 8mo ago
  bro, facebook was the first internet thing for a lot of people. with it, millions of *oomers got in touch with people they didn't see in years/decades. it was unironically good before the enshittification, and we still don't have a mainstream replacement. we probably can't ever have one, really.
insane_dreamer 8mo ago
Similar experience; it was good 15 years ago. I left* and closed my account ~10 years ago. * because 1) I found it sucked up time I needed for more productive things and I was getting "hooked" on social media, and 2) it wasn't good for my mental health -- if all you see is the glamour side, even if they're people you know, it was easy for me to feel that my life sucked in comparison. It didn't make me happy.
itomato 8mo ago
Naive, good natured, exploitable. Perfection.

0x1ch 8mo ago

[flagged]

jtbaker 8mo ago
I think it's more like the husbands left the platform first.
- HoldOnAMinute 8mo ago
  Yes
_dain_ 8mo ago
The implication is that they got divorced.
- HoldOnAMinute 8mo ago
  Not always
- wincy 8mo ago
  My wife still uses Facebook sometimes but I have it blocked on my phone and laptop, I’d have to get on my desktop to even check it.
dtauzell 8mo ago
Probably mean that their husbands were the first to quit Facebook.
- HoldOnAMinute 8mo ago
  Yes
0x1ch 8mo ago
[flagged]
- zadikian 8mo ago
  Is there a problem with my name being green?
  - 0x1ch 8mo ago
    New user. To see replies THAT fast on a new user reply which generally isn't pushed to the top of the feed, I find that very interesting.
    - zadikian 8mo ago
      Idk. It was at the top for me, so I saw it.
  - nobody9999 8mo ago
    >Is there a problem with my name being green? Not as such, no. However, new accounts (which show up as green) tend to get less attention and more downvotes. When I first joined that annoyed and confused me, but after a while (when my name was no longer green), folks seemed more accepting of my comments and submissions. As the eminent philosopher opined, "It Ain't Easy Being Green"[0]. Although I believe their ruminations predate HN. [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng

da02 8mo ago

What do your social groups use nowadays?

wincy 8mo ago
Similar experience for me and it’s just been replaced with… nothing. My gaming buddies talk on Discord but I just don’t really hear from my aunts and uncles and cousins anymore. It’d be a hassle to even figure out how to contact them. Only 13 people showed up to my high school reunion last year from a graduating class of ~400.
- zadikian 8mo ago
  Same. Idk how college communication work now; we had class groups and planned everything over FB events/pages back then. For friends, I started a few text group chats to stay in touch. It's really annoying because someone has Android and RCS is broken on someone's end. Some also use FB Messenger, but nobody 2 years younger or older than me is on that.
  - Mixtape 8mo ago
    When I finished my undergrad a few years ago, we were relying heavily on GroupMe chats, with the occasional Slack and one or two LinkedIn groups mixed in. Discord was just starting to exit the gaming sphere and hit the mainstream though. I'm willing to bet it's absolutely dominating the space now.
    - zadikian 8mo ago
      How long ago was that if you don't mind me asking? I was in college 2014-2016, and GroupMe existed but was on its way out. I asked our college interns around 2022 what people use for class groups, and I think they weren't sure what I even meant, but the answer wasn't Discord.
      - Mixtape 8mo ago
        2019-23. It's worth noting that GroupMe sticking around was honestly probably a byproduct of my own circles and the specific campus culture to a certain extent.

catlover76 8mo ago

[dead]

sparky_z 8mo ago

> It all just went away, starting with the husbands. I honestly can't tell whether I'm supposed to interpret this as "The dads lost interest in Facebook before anyone else", or "Everybody got divorced."

RobinL 8mo ago
Or possibly 'men find the algorithmic/consumption based platforms relatively more appealing' and so were quicker to leave
bentcorner 8mo ago
Personally I stopped using Facebook because even in the before-AI days it started becoming a glamour photo book of everyone you ever knew (and probably lots of people you only kind of sorta know), and while people certainly deserve to do and see great things, seeing it all shoved in your face every day becomes exhausting in a keeping-up-with-the-joneses kind of way. I totally get that not everybody is like that, but I am, and so I stopped going to Facebook. These days I'm in private Whatsapp groups for my direct family and so I learn about what they do, and not the random stuff that my neighbors and 20-years-past classmates did. My wife is still active on Facebook and I actually do still visit occasionally to boost her posts but that's about it.
- dividefuel 8mo ago
  I agree with this a lot. In the late 2000s, which for me was when I was about 20, posts were very throwaway and low effort -- in a good way! You never really knew what you'd see when you logged in. Photos of stupid things or silly status updates, etc. Over the next five years though, content gradually shifted to mainly image crafting. Over-processed photos, highlight reel curated trip photos, major life updates, etc. It felt like the bar was higher on what people would share, but unfortunately that removed a lot of the things that made FB fun in the first place. I don't know whether it was a more universal shift or whether it had more to do with the age of my peers.
98codes 8mo ago
I'm a dad that stopped using facebook when I got divorced, so there's a bit of anecdata for you

drnick1 8mo ago

> There was so much joyous sharing. And it wasn't done for clicks, views, or monetization. All along, Meta was vacuuming that data to build profiles of you, your family and friends, to be sold to third parties. You have been duped.

Hnrobert42 8mo ago

What do you mean it all just went away starting with the husbands? Like people drifted away from the platform? Husbands started drifting away from it first?

12_throw_away 8mo ago

> There was so much joyous sharing. I'm sorry, but describing using a social advertising network as "joyous sharing" is blowing my mind. This is, like, what marketing people think normal people talk like.

b65e8bee43c2ed0 8mo ago
bro, facebook was the first internet thing for a lot of people. with it, millions of *oomers got in touch with people they didn't see in years/decades. it was unironically good before the enshittification, and we still don't have a mainstream replacement. we probably can't ever have one, really.

insane_dreamer 8mo ago

Similar experience; it was good 15 years ago. I left* and closed my account ~10 years ago. * because 1) I found it sucked up time I needed for more productive things and I was getting "hooked" on social media, and 2) it wasn't good for my mental health -- if all you see is the glamour side, even if they're people you know, it was easy for me to feel that my life sucked in comparison. It didn't make me happy.

itomato 8mo ago

Naive, good natured, exploitable. Perfection.