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I've been talking to my therapist about something similar - masking, as someone else in the comments mentioned. And one thing that I've been thinking about as

I've been talking to my therapist about something similar - masking, as someone else in the comments mentioned. And one thing that I've been thinking about as a result is that I don't owe anyone my authentic self. Asking me to reveal more things about myself is asking a hell of a lot, actually. So maybe I'm boring on purpose, because I don't want to get into an argument with a random parent on the playground, or a random stranger on a bus, or a random receptionist at the doctor. I'll be interesting to the people I'm interested in, and boring to everyone else.

m463 8mo ago
> I don't owe anyone my authentic self. that makes sense, since to be authentic, you need to be vulnerable. Maybe what the article means is not so much to bring up something deeply personal, but to show a unique part of yourself. I remember a guy came to work on my heating system and while he was wrapping up, somehow he told me he liked slot machines. That led to a 15 minute discussion about them. Next he told me his wife let him keep 6 of them in his living room and he showed me pictures. I think that was not revealing too much personal stuff, but an enthusiasm for something that added life to the conversation. So maybe carefully think of things you can reveal that make you who you are, without pulling back the curtain completely.
mierz00 8mo ago
Marginally related, I feel the same way about honesty, especially in a work context. I’ve always prided myself in being an honest but considerate person. A recent experience with a colleague who weaponised my honesty in an attempt to manipulate me has left a foul taste in my mouth. Luckily their contract ended and the problem resolved itself. But I remember distinctly feeling that I will be professional and polite but I do not automatically owe anyone my honesty.

m463 8mo ago

> I don't owe anyone my authentic self. that makes sense, since to be authentic, you need to be vulnerable. Maybe what the article means is not so much to bring up something deeply personal, but to show a unique part of yourself. I remember a guy came to work on my heating system and while he was wrapping up, somehow he told me he liked slot machines. That led to a 15 minute discussion about them. Next he told me his wife let him keep 6 of them in his living room and he showed me pictures. I think that was not revealing too much personal stuff, but an enthusiasm for something that added life to the conversation. So maybe carefully think of things you can reveal that make you who you are, without pulling back the curtain completely.

mierz00 8mo ago

Marginally related, I feel the same way about honesty, especially in a work context. I’ve always prided myself in being an honest but considerate person. A recent experience with a colleague who weaponised my honesty in an attempt to manipulate me has left a foul taste in my mouth. Luckily their contract ended and the problem resolved itself. But I remember distinctly feeling that I will be professional and polite but I do not automatically owe anyone my honesty.