4 ms·

what's wrong with being boring?

nehal3m 8mo ago
Nothing at all if you ask me. I consider myself boring and lazy, and I’m content with that. Not unrelated (but not necessarily causally connected), I also consider myself extraordinarily lucky that I find myself in a time where my basic needs are met almost by default. I guess it’s easy to be content when you don’t put high demands on yourself.
PlatoIsADisease 8mo ago
Not sure if this is what you are looking for, but there is a bit of science on this. Here is a reddit thread discussing it. https://www.reddit.com/r/psychoanalysis/comments/1r6h9h5/any_papers_or_books_on_the_subject_of_what/ https://www.reddit.com/r/psychoanalysis/comments/1r6h9h5/any... I specifically liked the paper: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-xge0001799.pdf https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-xge0001799.pd... https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/30/well/mind/cool-people-traits-study.html https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/30/well/mind/cool-people-tra... I think cool people make more money, have more opportunities, probably have more fun. But don't get me wrong, the epicurean hedonist in me sometimes wants to just chill and eat bread and water.
graypegg 8mo ago
Boring in this case means something like "unmemorable" or "indiscernible". The great big dice roll that happens for everyone at the start of the big game has way too many variables to land on the same values twice, so being boring is a choice to hide the diff between you and the person you're talking to. ("Audit what you've hidden" is a neat way to phrase that.) If you rolled all 1s for charisma, that would be unboring, it'd be memorable!
II2II 8mo ago
I would answer that question, except my thoughts put me to sleep. More seriously though: the article is one person's opinion on what makes a boring person and their pet solution. It may work for them, but it won't work for everyone. It really boils down to the question: what is a boring person? The answer to that will be a subjective one. I would argue a boring people include those who are passionate about sports. A significant proportion of humanity will violently disagree with me. The minute that I open my mouth about my interests, they will migrate to someone who is talking about the latest game. It won't matter whether the interest comes naturally or is cultivated. I mostly disagree with the author's point about reading audiences. About the only point I do agree with is that we shouldn't let the audience define who we are. I will also concede that having a shallow knowledge of a topic, simply to fit in, will make for boring conversation. But a shallow knowledge to fit in isn't how I describe defining one's interests to fit in.
ForceBru 8mo ago
"Boring" is the opposite of "interesting" (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/boring https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/boring). "Interesting" is new, attractive, good. "Boring" is old news, unattractive, bad. Not exactly "bad", as in "I actively dislike this", of course. Thus, being boring is not good.
Night_Thastus 8mo ago
There's something to be said for the social losses associated with it. People who are truly boring don't tend to get noticed for social events, dates, promotions, etc. It can be hard for someone to realize they're not all that important or significant to anyone - being a mild addition that doesn't hurt any given event or situation, but no one is bothered by their absence either.

Nothing at all if you ask me. I consider myself boring and lazy, and I’m content with that. Not unrelated (but not necessarily causally connected), I also consider myself extraordinarily lucky that I find myself in a time where my basic needs are met almost by default. I guess it’s easy to be content when you don’t put high demands on yourself.

PlatoIsADisease 8mo ago

Not sure if this is what you are looking for, but there is a bit of science on this. Here is a reddit thread discussing it. https://www.reddit.com/r/psychoanalysis/comments/1r6h9h5/any_papers_or_books_on_the_subject_of_what/ https://www.reddit.com/r/psychoanalysis/comments/1r6h9h5/any... I specifically liked the paper: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-xge0001799.pdf https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-xge0001799.pd... https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/30/well/mind/cool-people-traits-study.html https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/30/well/mind/cool-people-tra... I think cool people make more money, have more opportunities, probably have more fun. But don't get me wrong, the epicurean hedonist in me sometimes wants to just chill and eat bread and water.

graypegg 8mo ago

Boring in this case means something like "unmemorable" or "indiscernible". The great big dice roll that happens for everyone at the start of the big game has way too many variables to land on the same values twice, so being boring is a choice to hide the diff between you and the person you're talking to. ("Audit what you've hidden" is a neat way to phrase that.) If you rolled all 1s for charisma, that would be unboring, it'd be memorable!

II2II 8mo ago

I would answer that question, except my thoughts put me to sleep. More seriously though: the article is one person's opinion on what makes a boring person and their pet solution. It may work for them, but it won't work for everyone. It really boils down to the question: what is a boring person? The answer to that will be a subjective one. I would argue a boring people include those who are passionate about sports. A significant proportion of humanity will violently disagree with me. The minute that I open my mouth about my interests, they will migrate to someone who is talking about the latest game. It won't matter whether the interest comes naturally or is cultivated. I mostly disagree with the author's point about reading audiences. About the only point I do agree with is that we shouldn't let the audience define who we are. I will also concede that having a shallow knowledge of a topic, simply to fit in, will make for boring conversation. But a shallow knowledge to fit in isn't how I describe defining one's interests to fit in.

ForceBru 8mo ago

"Boring" is the opposite of "interesting" (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/boring https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/boring). "Interesting" is new, attractive, good. "Boring" is old news, unattractive, bad. Not exactly "bad", as in "I actively dislike this", of course. Thus, being boring is not good.

Night_Thastus 8mo ago

There's something to be said for the social losses associated with it. People who are truly boring don't tend to get noticed for social events, dates, promotions, etc. It can be hard for someone to realize they're not all that important or significant to anyone - being a mild addition that doesn't hurt any given event or situation, but no one is bothered by their absence either.