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How on earth do you get to "it's the most socially appropriate way"? It's often the easiest and lowest effort for the developer, but what basically amounts to

How on earth do you get to "it's the most socially appropriate way"? It's often the easiest and lowest effort for the developer, but what basically amounts to passive aggression is never going to be remotely sociably appropriate. If you educate people you get a massively better outcome - you don't get interrupted when that's important to you and you're more likely to get valuable and useful interaction when that's acceptable.

aangjie 14y ago
Uhh. not to be grumpy, but i read socially apropos as socially relevant and not socially appropriate. Disclaimer: am biased towards the OP. sometimes grumpiness can keep people away and let your brain/attention free from figuring out having to find the socially appropriate response/action.
- Tyrannosaurs 14y ago
  About the only thing you can append to socially to describe grumpiness accurately is unappealing. As I say it's easy for the developer, it gets the result the developer wants but it's optimised purely for the developer and purely for the short term. It's worse for the other party in the short term and it's worse for everyone in the long term.
wisty 14y ago
> what basically amounts to passive aggression How is being outwardly aggressive "passive aggression"? It's basically the complete opposite. Passive aggression would be cheerfully saying "Thanks, that's a great idea, I'll be on it ASAP!", then just ignoring the idiotic request. "Oops, I forgot to tell you, that change we discussed? I looked into it, and it's just not feasible. But I can have another shot, if you still think it's important!". That's passive agression. The whole point is, it's not grumpy (until they call you out, and you start blaming them for making unreasonable requests).
- Tyrannosaurs 14y ago
  I read it as passive aggressive as generally there is little actual communication, it's more about putting up an air of unapproachability but I accept that may vary from developer to developer. But regardless, it's anti-social and suboptimal for anyone other than the developer and even then only in the short terms.
dasil003 14y ago
There's a lot of wiggle room in the word grumpy.

aangjie 14y ago

Uhh. not to be grumpy, but i read socially apropos as socially relevant and not socially appropriate. Disclaimer: am biased towards the OP. sometimes grumpiness can keep people away and let your brain/attention free from figuring out having to find the socially appropriate response/action.

Tyrannosaurs 14y ago
About the only thing you can append to socially to describe grumpiness accurately is unappealing. As I say it's easy for the developer, it gets the result the developer wants but it's optimised purely for the developer and purely for the short term. It's worse for the other party in the short term and it's worse for everyone in the long term.

wisty 14y ago

> what basically amounts to passive aggression How is being outwardly aggressive "passive aggression"? It's basically the complete opposite. Passive aggression would be cheerfully saying "Thanks, that's a great idea, I'll be on it ASAP!", then just ignoring the idiotic request. "Oops, I forgot to tell you, that change we discussed? I looked into it, and it's just not feasible. But I can have another shot, if you still think it's important!". That's passive agression. The whole point is, it's not grumpy (until they call you out, and you start blaming them for making unreasonable requests).

Tyrannosaurs 14y ago
I read it as passive aggressive as generally there is little actual communication, it's more about putting up an air of unapproachability but I accept that may vary from developer to developer. But regardless, it's anti-social and suboptimal for anyone other than the developer and even then only in the short terms.

dasil003 14y ago

There's a lot of wiggle room in the word grumpy.