6 ms·

> "Someone who can tolerate social gaming companies like Zynga..." Welp, most of us on HN are out of the running! ;) But in all seriousness, am I the only one

> "Someone who can tolerate social gaming companies like Zynga..." Welp, most of us on HN are out of the running! ;) But in all seriousness, am I the only one that thinks this is just ridiculous? It would have been funny and one thing had it been a joke, but this just seems crazy to me. Maybe it's because I'm only 23 and I'm not that "desperate". Or maybe it's cause I'm very social and rarely have troubles finding dates or new people to meet, but I just can't imagine ever trying to get an actual date or make a real connection with someone from an absurd list of demands/requirements like this. Plus, using github in this way just annoys me a bit. There are plenty of free dating sites out there (Okcupid, for example) where you could find mates that meet your "needs" or are compatible with you. Using github like this (again, if it was a joke, that would be one thing) just screams "I'm desperate" or "I want attention for using github to find a date." Github has drink-ups and meet-ups if you want to meet other people on there or similar to you, as well!

engtech 14y ago
We all have a list of demands/requirements (eg: non-smoker, likes dogs, will put up with my !@#$). Not all people are as blunt about it as this women. What's always funny about these lists is that they are only based on your previous experience and are not necessarily real predictors of future success. If anything a good catch is someone who you want to be with despite the fact they don't score well on your list of requirements. I've always thought OK Cupid had one of the more interesting matching algorithms because they ask the users questions to get an idea of them, and let people rank how important a match on specific questions are to them. eg: religion (or lack of) are very important to some people, and not as much to others.
- bluetidepro 14y ago
  > "If anything a good catch is someone who you want to be with despite the fact they don't score well on your list of requirements." I couldn't agree more. In any form, finding someone via a list of demands/requirements is such a close minded approach to finding someone to be happy with.
- brazzy 14y ago
  > What's always funny about these lists is that they are only based on your previous experience and are not necessarily real predictors of future success. Probably the same reason and the same problems as with the stereotypical bullet-point-list job requirements.
- fduran 14y ago
  "If anything a good catch is someone who you want to be with despite the fact they don't score well on your list of requirements." Right on. I read about a social experiment (I think it was "Blink" or similar book) where before going on speed dating sessions people filled out a questionnaire prioritizing the requirements that they wanted in their ideal mate. After speed dating they ranked their dates and itemized their features. It turns out that there was no correlation between what the subjects wanted or thought they want a priori and the features of the people they liked the most. When asked about this they just rationalized matching the contradictory data (they adjusted the people they liked to the old values or adapted the values to the people they liked, don't remember).
nandemo 14y ago
For the record, she never mentions Zynga, only Gree and Mobage. The translator must have inserted Zynga since Gree and Mobage aren't very well known outside Japan. Also, later she mentions she works for one such company.
- bluetidepro 14y ago
  Ahh, okay. I was just going off the article information, I didn't realize that was just an "off base" translation.
  - nandemo 14y ago
    Better translation somewhere in the comments of previous HN submission: http://hackerne.ws/item?id=4629969 http://hackerne.ws/item?id=4629969
- w1ntermute 14y ago
  Gree and Mobage aren't much better when it comes to not being sleazy. The whole kompu gacha ban was because they were essentially enticing children to gamble.
w1ntermute 14y ago
> Maybe it's because I'm only 23 and I'm not that "desperate". It's because you're not a single Japanese woman living in Japan who's in her 30s. She's likely facing enormous pressure from her family and friends to get married. In Japan, women's marriageability is often compared to Christmas cake - expired after 25.
- bluetidepro 14y ago
  I will admit that I'm not super familiar with the Japanese culture. If that was the case, that would make sense. However, if that was also the case, don't you think she would be less strict on the requirements of finding a mate?
  - potatolicious 14y ago
    It's possible that one doesn't want to be married, and that the impossible standards (which would appear quite reasonable to the conservative/traditional parent) is a neat way to say "see mom, no one fits this very reasonable bill, so lay off!" Disclaimer: I have Asian parents.
  - VSerge 14y ago
    The reaction to this is a bit interesting.. There's some understanding, some judgement, some cultural explanations, but nobody seems to be asking whether the fundamental question here. With the web doing all it does today, why is it that it still sucks at making people meet one another? Actually just made that a ask hn if you think this warrants a bit of introspection. http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4688533 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4688533
- brazzy 14y ago
  For people who prefert a visual illustration: http://www.conniewonnie.com/2012/09/single-girl-asian-daughter.html http://www.conniewonnie.com/2012/09/single-girl-asian-daught...
- nandemo 14y ago
  The social pressure does exist, but the Christmas cake thing died down with the Showa era. Nowadays the average wedding age is closer to 30 than to 25.
Nursie 14y ago
At 23 you meet new people all the time. A decade later you barely ever do (in my experience), so you have to make an actual effort to meet people, especially to date them. I don't know a lot about Japanese culture but here in the UK the 'jumping into bed with everyone just to see what works' phase seems to be over by her age (30). Or maybe it's just me...
- Evbn 14y ago
  Weird. My impression is the opposite. In youth, you have time to go slow, but as you get older and busier, you jump into bed to see what works without wasting any time.
  - Nursie 14y ago
    Why would you go slow when you're a youth? You've got hormones and energy the likes of which you'll never see again!
  - Nursie 14y ago
    Why would you go slow when you're a youth? You've got hormones and energy the likes of which you'll never see again!
Xion 14y ago
> Maybe it's because I'm only 23 and I'm not that "desperate". I'm 25 and I find this cute. That's assuming, of course, that the funny list of 'requirements' is mostly to spark discussion rather than actually weeding out people by following them to the letter. "Sorry, you only meet 26 of the points, and that's counting your dubious credentials for the Peter Drucket one." -- Hopefully not. "Hey, that project X from your Github is pretty neat. Did you consider using technology Y for Z in it?" -- Maybe.
vlasta2 14y ago
I find it ridiculous too and I am over 30. Maybe this is just some kind of joke or social experiment. Demanding things that are on the list from a partner or a friend really sounds absurd. But everyone is free to make their own lists and publish them wherever they see fit. In my previous job, I actually saw people chatting via Perforce change-lists :-).
jiggy2011 14y ago
The problem with OKCupid is that most of the profiles are absolutely dire, poorly written with bad photos. There's also the problem of women getting hundreds of messages so even well written ones will rarely get a response. Not to mention people setting up fake profiles etc. It's not that unusual in my experience for people who "met online" to have met through forums etc based on a mutual interest rather than a dedicated dating website.
antidoh 14y ago
For people who like this sort of thing, this is exactly the sort of thing that they'll like. If it works for her, great. Fabulous. Fantastic. Everyone's life is their own.
joshcrews 14y ago
Using github for it seems brilliant because she probably sees herself ending up with someone who is on github. If github is where a lot of your potential mates are, of course go there! Imagine posting that requirement about writing beautiful code on a dating site-- how very few bachelors would even know what means

engtech 14y ago

We all have a list of demands/requirements (eg: non-smoker, likes dogs, will put up with my !@#$). Not all people are as blunt about it as this women. What's always funny about these lists is that they are only based on your previous experience and are not necessarily real predictors of future success. If anything a good catch is someone who you want to be with despite the fact they don't score well on your list of requirements. I've always thought OK Cupid had one of the more interesting matching algorithms because they ask the users questions to get an idea of them, and let people rank how important a match on specific questions are to them. eg: religion (or lack of) are very important to some people, and not as much to others.

bluetidepro 14y ago
> "If anything a good catch is someone who you want to be with despite the fact they don't score well on your list of requirements." I couldn't agree more. In any form, finding someone via a list of demands/requirements is such a close minded approach to finding someone to be happy with.
brazzy 14y ago
> What's always funny about these lists is that they are only based on your previous experience and are not necessarily real predictors of future success. Probably the same reason and the same problems as with the stereotypical bullet-point-list job requirements.
fduran 14y ago
"If anything a good catch is someone who you want to be with despite the fact they don't score well on your list of requirements." Right on. I read about a social experiment (I think it was "Blink" or similar book) where before going on speed dating sessions people filled out a questionnaire prioritizing the requirements that they wanted in their ideal mate. After speed dating they ranked their dates and itemized their features. It turns out that there was no correlation between what the subjects wanted or thought they want a priori and the features of the people they liked the most. When asked about this they just rationalized matching the contradictory data (they adjusted the people they liked to the old values or adapted the values to the people they liked, don't remember).

nandemo 14y ago

For the record, she never mentions Zynga, only Gree and Mobage. The translator must have inserted Zynga since Gree and Mobage aren't very well known outside Japan. Also, later she mentions she works for one such company.

bluetidepro 14y ago
Ahh, okay. I was just going off the article information, I didn't realize that was just an "off base" translation.
- nandemo 14y ago
  Better translation somewhere in the comments of previous HN submission: http://hackerne.ws/item?id=4629969 http://hackerne.ws/item?id=4629969
w1ntermute 14y ago
Gree and Mobage aren't much better when it comes to not being sleazy. The whole kompu gacha ban was because they were essentially enticing children to gamble.

w1ntermute 14y ago

> Maybe it's because I'm only 23 and I'm not that "desperate". It's because you're not a single Japanese woman living in Japan who's in her 30s. She's likely facing enormous pressure from her family and friends to get married. In Japan, women's marriageability is often compared to Christmas cake - expired after 25.

bluetidepro 14y ago
I will admit that I'm not super familiar with the Japanese culture. If that was the case, that would make sense. However, if that was also the case, don't you think she would be less strict on the requirements of finding a mate?
- potatolicious 14y ago
  It's possible that one doesn't want to be married, and that the impossible standards (which would appear quite reasonable to the conservative/traditional parent) is a neat way to say "see mom, no one fits this very reasonable bill, so lay off!" Disclaimer: I have Asian parents.
- VSerge 14y ago
  The reaction to this is a bit interesting.. There's some understanding, some judgement, some cultural explanations, but nobody seems to be asking whether the fundamental question here. With the web doing all it does today, why is it that it still sucks at making people meet one another? Actually just made that a ask hn if you think this warrants a bit of introspection. http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4688533 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4688533
brazzy 14y ago
For people who prefert a visual illustration: http://www.conniewonnie.com/2012/09/single-girl-asian-daughter.html http://www.conniewonnie.com/2012/09/single-girl-asian-daught...
nandemo 14y ago
The social pressure does exist, but the Christmas cake thing died down with the Showa era. Nowadays the average wedding age is closer to 30 than to 25.

Nursie 14y ago

At 23 you meet new people all the time. A decade later you barely ever do (in my experience), so you have to make an actual effort to meet people, especially to date them. I don't know a lot about Japanese culture but here in the UK the 'jumping into bed with everyone just to see what works' phase seems to be over by her age (30). Or maybe it's just me...

Evbn 14y ago
Weird. My impression is the opposite. In youth, you have time to go slow, but as you get older and busier, you jump into bed to see what works without wasting any time.
- Nursie 14y ago
  Why would you go slow when you're a youth? You've got hormones and energy the likes of which you'll never see again!
- Nursie 14y ago
  Why would you go slow when you're a youth? You've got hormones and energy the likes of which you'll never see again!

Xion 14y ago

> Maybe it's because I'm only 23 and I'm not that "desperate". I'm 25 and I find this cute. That's assuming, of course, that the funny list of 'requirements' is mostly to spark discussion rather than actually weeding out people by following them to the letter. "Sorry, you only meet 26 of the points, and that's counting your dubious credentials for the Peter Drucket one." -- Hopefully not. "Hey, that project X from your Github is pretty neat. Did you consider using technology Y for Z in it?" -- Maybe.

vlasta2 14y ago

I find it ridiculous too and I am over 30. Maybe this is just some kind of joke or social experiment. Demanding things that are on the list from a partner or a friend really sounds absurd. But everyone is free to make their own lists and publish them wherever they see fit. In my previous job, I actually saw people chatting via Perforce change-lists :-).

jiggy2011 14y ago

The problem with OKCupid is that most of the profiles are absolutely dire, poorly written with bad photos. There's also the problem of women getting hundreds of messages so even well written ones will rarely get a response. Not to mention people setting up fake profiles etc. It's not that unusual in my experience for people who "met online" to have met through forums etc based on a mutual interest rather than a dedicated dating website.

antidoh 14y ago

For people who like this sort of thing, this is exactly the sort of thing that they'll like. If it works for her, great. Fabulous. Fantastic. Everyone's life is their own.

joshcrews 14y ago

Using github for it seems brilliant because she probably sees herself ending up with someone who is on github. If github is where a lot of your potential mates are, of course go there! Imagine posting that requirement about writing beautiful code on a dating site-- how very few bachelors would even know what means