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> I wanted to keep her as a friend I had to stop trying to change how she kept her house This is a hard lesson for those of us who like to fix things: you basi
by pjc50 10mo ago
> I wanted to keep her as a friend I had to stop trying to change how she kept her house
This is a hard lesson for those of us who like to fix things: you basically can't change the behavior of adults, without a huge amount of work and/or their active cooperation.
- IAmBroom 10mo ago> you basically can't change the behavior of adults, without a huge amount of work and/or their active cooperation. Odd statement, with the "/or" part. Changing the behavior of adults without their active cooperation is compulsion, not behavioral modification. I mean, we do it in prisons and boot camps, but that's not a solution here.
- squigz 10mo agoI don't believe GP meant it like they're physically forcing their friend to change - just that there's a big difference when someone recognizes their problem and is trying to solve it; and them not doing so, where you can still encourage them to fix the problem regardless.