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The “why did we do X and not Y?” style of question is a commonly used passive aggressive crutch to tell someone to do Y instead, while attempting to not look me
by jghn 9mo ago
The “why did we do X and not Y?” style of question is a commonly used passive aggressive crutch to tell someone to do Y instead, while attempting to not look mean/harsh. Its the same reason people use “we” in the first place.
You may not be using it this way but because many others are that’s how it’ll typically be interpreted
- meatmanek 9mo agoYou call it passive aggressive, I call it "acknowledging that you might know something I don't".
- jghn 9mo agoI agree, and why I hate that this has become a thing. I encountered the same thing as the GP which is from where my experience comes. I'd ask "Why did you choose X over Y" as I'm genuinely curious to know what tradeoffs were considered that led them to choose X. Perhaps there's something I don't know. But I also see it get used all the time to mean "you should have done Y". The "we" stuff is similar. There was a movement several years ago to try to remove blame/harshness from the tone of code reviews, and this is what we got out of it.