4 ms·

If more people lived together with friends, that’d make a dent in both the housing and loneliness crises.

by latexr 10mo ago

lazide 10mo ago
The issue is the number of people who ‘surprise’ you with out of control behaviors that are a huge issue with room mates. And getting out of living situation with someone like that can be extremely difficult. People can seem perfectly fine, until they seem to spontaneously turn into hoarders, or start eating all your food and lying about it, or start being aggressively in your face about a bunch of antagonistic culture bullshit, etc. I think what we’re seeing is Americans increasingly fed up with (or even terrified of) other Americans.
- soulofmischief 10mo ago
  I moved in with one of my closest friends a few years ago, someone I considered a brother. In less than a year, I got someone to sublet and have not spoken to him since. I had no idea someone could be such a tool.
- latexr 10mo ago
  There’s definitely some risk, but the alternative is not a panacea either (high rents, loneliness). You can also get closer to people and enrich your life, and it’s positive to practice tolerance for the behaviours of others (within reason). It’s possible there are more unhinged people today, but I think that’s also a consequence of us spending so much time alone in the first place (and sycophantic bots are only going to make that worse). I was also thinking of everyone, not just US Americans.
  - lazide 10mo ago
    Except for a very, very small number of people, everyone I've ever known who can afford to not have room mates - doesn't have room mates. Young or old. There is a reason for this, and it isn't because they hate their mental health. The issue here is how hard it is to protect your own mental health when someone else refuses to respect yours, and how a co-living situation can make that hard - because you literally are all up in each others business.
    - latexr 10mo ago
      > and it isn't because they hate their mental health. No, of course not. But that doesn’t also mean it can’t have an effect. Social media is harmful to many of us who still partake. Sometimes what we do isn’t what’s best. Some of those people who live alone could benefit from living with someone else, others might not. It’s not an absolute, just worth considering. > The issue here is how hard it is to protect your own mental health when someone else refuses to respect yours Right, but I feel too many people are focusing on dipshit housemates. Good and understanding people do exist. Like, would you be one of those disrespectful people you describe? Probably not, which proves people like you do exist.
      - lazide 10mo ago
        I gave up on roommates years ago, so I would not even be in the eval set.
- hopelite 10mo ago
  [flagged]
  - mindslight 10mo ago
    If this is true, then why does it seem like the places with the least diversity are full of people Hell-bent on directly destroying the country? There's some truth in what you're saying regarding social cohesion, but you're skipping some very important steps like the media fanning reactionary flames by scaring rural dwellers that "diversity" is going to come for them, etc. Meanwhile people who are confronted with actual diversity in their day to day lives are less likely to buy into such simplistic and destructive narratives in the first place. This implies that the lack of social cohesion is better thought of as a result of hostile media convincing everyone they are under attack by some "other", than slightly different humans in people's real-life communities.
- hopelite 10mo ago
  It’s something europeans don’t yet understand, that “diversity” has utterly destroyed community, trust, and tranquility in the US; mostly because it has been forced upon people against their will in direct contradiction of the core tenets of the Constitution and founding principles of America. I realize hearing that or seeing that others may read that, may anger people who are deeply invested in the fraud that diversity is good, but all the legitimate research into the topic all tells us the same thing; that “diversity” is detrimental to any and all human communities all around the world, even for the very group that pushes it on others while aggressively rejecting it for themselves and their own. edit: No amount of downvoting will change reality, whether you shoot the messenger or not. It's a shame, because good does not actually prevail, especially with brainwashed fools who assist those seeking the demise of others. Support of "diversity" is no different than the support of the genocide the jewish state committed and is to this day still committing in Gaza... the support of evil without the intelligence to understand that.
  - adammmmm 10mo ago
    What is this legitimate research you speak of? Will you please provide sources?
    - Der_Einzige 10mo ago
      https://youtu.be/MLwKFGjE2zY?si=H9RwqKjTOAO6c8Ct https://youtu.be/MLwKFGjE2zY?si=H9RwqKjTOAO6c8Ct
    - deleted 9mo ago
      [deleted]
Esophagus4 10mo ago
Living close to friends seems like a good idea as well. Living in suburbia has definitely made me yearn for this: https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/should-more-of-us-be-moving-to-live-near-friends https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/should-more-of-us-...
xacky 10mo ago
Then again how many more people would live alone if they could afford to rent or buy on a single income?
- expedition32 10mo ago
  Yeah in my country people leave their parents house in their early 20s. Independence and individuality are the foundational bedrock of my culture. But it's getting harder because of the housing market.
  - latexr 10mo ago
    > Independence and individuality Neither are threatened by living with a friend or someone else near your age. Sure, move out of your parents’ home, but that doesn’t mean you have to live alone.
    - JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
      > Neither are threatened by living with a friend or someone else near your age The difference between sharing a 2BR and living in an apartment building are more exercises in cultural than physical difference.
whywhywhywhy 10mo ago
Living close to friends and having a community that knows/supports each other helps a lot but living with friends is a good way to end up with less friends. Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with.
- JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
  > Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with One is a friend. The other an acquaintance.
  - SketchySeaBeast 10mo ago
    Nah, the differences that can make for a dynamic friendship can be the ones that prevent cohabitation. If you're friends you don't have to care that they like to play loud music at 2 am, but you do when you live together. I have/had friends whose pickiness/slovenliness was fine until we tried to live together, and then all that became a personality clash. It's entirely possible to have strong friendships with people you couldn't live with.
    - JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
      I’m not saying someone isn’t a friend if you can’t live together long term. But if you can’t “stand being around” someone “all day,” they’re clearly less than a friend. If my friends fell on hard times, they’d have a place to crash. I cannot say that of everyone I hang out with because not all of them are people whom I’d (a) enjoy being around and (b) trust to respect my boundaries (and trust myself to be tolerant of their incongruities with my preferences).
  - whywhywhywhy 10mo ago
    This isn't true at all and a pretty ridiculous statement. How someone lives in their own home has no impact on what their company is like in the outside world. Someone could be a bit of a hoarder, not do the dishes often enough, stay up to 3am listening to music none of that has anything to do with how good of a friend they are but it does matter if you live with them.
lapcat 10mo ago
Part of the loneliness crisis is the difficulty of making friends. This reminds me, yesterday I was walking down the hallway of my apartment building, and one of my neighbors passed by me but neglected to even acknowledge my existence, because their head was down staring at their smartphone.
- latexr 10mo ago
  > Part of the loneliness crisis is the difficulty of making friends. Sharing a house is a good way to combat that. Sometimes you move in with people you tangentially know. Sometimes you won’t be huge friends with them but can still interact, or may even meet some of their friends and hit it off.
rickydroll 10mo ago
You know how you can tell if you have a really good friend? They will help you dispose of your roommate's body, 24 by 7, no questions asked.
- latexr 10mo ago
  They might have one question: “How much is the rent and when can I move in?”
  - AnimalMuppet 10mo ago
    If you just murdered your roommate, I'm not sure I'm in a rush to become your next roommate...
    - latexr 10mo ago
      That just adds to the joke. https://tapas.io/episode/3740756 https://tapas.io/episode/3740756
JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
Both directly, by providing a social circle, and indirectly, by training people to live with a partner.

If more people lived together with friends, that’d make a dent in both the housing and loneliness crises.

by latexr 10mo ago

If more people lived together with friends, that’d make a dent in both the housing and loneliness crises.

lazide 10mo ago

The issue is the number of people who ‘surprise’ you with out of control behaviors that are a huge issue with room mates. And getting out of living situation with someone like that can be extremely difficult. People can seem perfectly fine, until they seem to spontaneously turn into hoarders, or start eating all your food and lying about it, or start being aggressively in your face about a bunch of antagonistic culture bullshit, etc. I think what we’re seeing is Americans increasingly fed up with (or even terrified of) other Americans.

soulofmischief 10mo ago
I moved in with one of my closest friends a few years ago, someone I considered a brother. In less than a year, I got someone to sublet and have not spoken to him since. I had no idea someone could be such a tool.
latexr 10mo ago
There’s definitely some risk, but the alternative is not a panacea either (high rents, loneliness). You can also get closer to people and enrich your life, and it’s positive to practice tolerance for the behaviours of others (within reason). It’s possible there are more unhinged people today, but I think that’s also a consequence of us spending so much time alone in the first place (and sycophantic bots are only going to make that worse). I was also thinking of everyone, not just US Americans.
- lazide 10mo ago
  Except for a very, very small number of people, everyone I've ever known who can afford to not have room mates - doesn't have room mates. Young or old. There is a reason for this, and it isn't because they hate their mental health. The issue here is how hard it is to protect your own mental health when someone else refuses to respect yours, and how a co-living situation can make that hard - because you literally are all up in each others business.
  - latexr 10mo ago
    > and it isn't because they hate their mental health. No, of course not. But that doesn’t also mean it can’t have an effect. Social media is harmful to many of us who still partake. Sometimes what we do isn’t what’s best. Some of those people who live alone could benefit from living with someone else, others might not. It’s not an absolute, just worth considering. > The issue here is how hard it is to protect your own mental health when someone else refuses to respect yours Right, but I feel too many people are focusing on dipshit housemates. Good and understanding people do exist. Like, would you be one of those disrespectful people you describe? Probably not, which proves people like you do exist.
    - lazide 10mo ago
      I gave up on roommates years ago, so I would not even be in the eval set.
hopelite 10mo ago
[flagged]
- mindslight 10mo ago
  If this is true, then why does it seem like the places with the least diversity are full of people Hell-bent on directly destroying the country? There's some truth in what you're saying regarding social cohesion, but you're skipping some very important steps like the media fanning reactionary flames by scaring rural dwellers that "diversity" is going to come for them, etc. Meanwhile people who are confronted with actual diversity in their day to day lives are less likely to buy into such simplistic and destructive narratives in the first place. This implies that the lack of social cohesion is better thought of as a result of hostile media convincing everyone they are under attack by some "other", than slightly different humans in people's real-life communities.
hopelite 10mo ago
It’s something europeans don’t yet understand, that “diversity” has utterly destroyed community, trust, and tranquility in the US; mostly because it has been forced upon people against their will in direct contradiction of the core tenets of the Constitution and founding principles of America. I realize hearing that or seeing that others may read that, may anger people who are deeply invested in the fraud that diversity is good, but all the legitimate research into the topic all tells us the same thing; that “diversity” is detrimental to any and all human communities all around the world, even for the very group that pushes it on others while aggressively rejecting it for themselves and their own. edit: No amount of downvoting will change reality, whether you shoot the messenger or not. It's a shame, because good does not actually prevail, especially with brainwashed fools who assist those seeking the demise of others. Support of "diversity" is no different than the support of the genocide the jewish state committed and is to this day still committing in Gaza... the support of evil without the intelligence to understand that.
- adammmmm 10mo ago
  What is this legitimate research you speak of? Will you please provide sources?
  - Der_Einzige 10mo ago
    https://youtu.be/MLwKFGjE2zY?si=H9RwqKjTOAO6c8Ct https://youtu.be/MLwKFGjE2zY?si=H9RwqKjTOAO6c8Ct
  - deleted 9mo ago
    [deleted]

Esophagus4 10mo ago

Living close to friends seems like a good idea as well. Living in suburbia has definitely made me yearn for this: https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/should-more-of-us-be-moving-to-live-near-friends https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/should-more-of-us-...

xacky 10mo ago

Then again how many more people would live alone if they could afford to rent or buy on a single income?

expedition32 10mo ago
Yeah in my country people leave their parents house in their early 20s. Independence and individuality are the foundational bedrock of my culture. But it's getting harder because of the housing market.
- latexr 10mo ago
  > Independence and individuality Neither are threatened by living with a friend or someone else near your age. Sure, move out of your parents’ home, but that doesn’t mean you have to live alone.
  - JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
    > Neither are threatened by living with a friend or someone else near your age The difference between sharing a 2BR and living in an apartment building are more exercises in cultural than physical difference.

whywhywhywhy 10mo ago

Living close to friends and having a community that knows/supports each other helps a lot but living with friends is a good way to end up with less friends. Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with.

JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
> Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with One is a friend. The other an acquaintance.
- SketchySeaBeast 10mo ago
  Nah, the differences that can make for a dynamic friendship can be the ones that prevent cohabitation. If you're friends you don't have to care that they like to play loud music at 2 am, but you do when you live together. I have/had friends whose pickiness/slovenliness was fine until we tried to live together, and then all that became a personality clash. It's entirely possible to have strong friendships with people you couldn't live with.
  - JumpCrisscross 10mo ago
    I’m not saying someone isn’t a friend if you can’t live together long term. But if you can’t “stand being around” someone “all day,” they’re clearly less than a friend. If my friends fell on hard times, they’d have a place to crash. I cannot say that of everyone I hang out with because not all of them are people whom I’d (a) enjoy being around and (b) trust to respect my boundaries (and trust myself to be tolerant of their incongruities with my preferences).
- whywhywhywhy 10mo ago
  This isn't true at all and a pretty ridiculous statement. How someone lives in their own home has no impact on what their company is like in the outside world. Someone could be a bit of a hoarder, not do the dishes often enough, stay up to 3am listening to music none of that has anything to do with how good of a friend they are but it does matter if you live with them.

lapcat 10mo ago

Part of the loneliness crisis is the difficulty of making friends. This reminds me, yesterday I was walking down the hallway of my apartment building, and one of my neighbors passed by me but neglected to even acknowledge my existence, because their head was down staring at their smartphone.

latexr 10mo ago
> Part of the loneliness crisis is the difficulty of making friends. Sharing a house is a good way to combat that. Sometimes you move in with people you tangentially know. Sometimes you won’t be huge friends with them but can still interact, or may even meet some of their friends and hit it off.

rickydroll 10mo ago

You know how you can tell if you have a really good friend? They will help you dispose of your roommate's body, 24 by 7, no questions asked.

latexr 10mo ago
They might have one question: “How much is the rent and when can I move in?”
- AnimalMuppet 10mo ago
  If you just murdered your roommate, I'm not sure I'm in a rush to become your next roommate...
  - latexr 10mo ago
    That just adds to the joke. https://tapas.io/episode/3740756 https://tapas.io/episode/3740756

JumpCrisscross 10mo ago

Both directly, by providing a social circle, and indirectly, by training people to live with a partner.